Popping Off

I have an etiquette question for you. I’m a cis straight woman. I recently hooked up with a bisexual man I met online. In the middle of missionary position sex, he began to sniff what I can only assume was poppers. I have no experience with them. Should he have said something beforehand? Should he … Read More »

Didn’t Happen

I used to loudly proclaim that all this crap about black men being better in bed was pure bullshit. My ego said it was a bunch of propaganda. The thought of me being a cuckold was never going to happen. Then my wife’s workplace hired a black man, and he was among several of her … Read More »

The Italian Job

I’m reading you from Italy, and I could use your advice. About four years ago, I started dating a girl who I’ve been living with for the past two months. Since I’ve known her, she has been suffering from periods of depression and anxiety, although I didn’t know it when we first started to date. … Read More »


1. I’m a fisting top and I always ask my bottoms to make sure they’re cleaned out. What is the proper etiquette when brown liquid explodes out of a bottom, covering me, the bed, the walls, and the floor? Get out of bed, shower off, get dressed, put the bottom in an Uber, exit the … Read More »

Blow Over

Does your standard advice about sexless marriages extend to orally sexless marriages? My wife and I have been together for a couple decades. We met in our late teens, and we are each other’s first and only sexual partners. Oral sex used to be a regular part of our sex life, for the first decade … Read More »

She Will Not Be Ignored

Dear Readers: I’m off this this week, so please enjoy this evergreen column from February 2011. If you’re wondering whether I’ve gotten any nicer over the past 12 years, this column is proof that I’ve gotten nicer. Way nicer. Enjoy! – Dan I’ve written before, but I didn’t hear back from you—probably because my e-mail didn’t … Read More »


I’m a man in his 40s and my partner is in their 30s and non-binary. We’ve been together for three years and officially living together for about a year. Things have been a little tumultuous during that time, due to issues with my kids, my kids’ mom, and my own fears about compatibility and commitment. … Read More »

Age Played

I’m a single straight male in my 40s. I date women in their 20s-50s. I hooked up with a 21-year-old woman recently, which is the youngest age I’d consider dating. Except after we had sex, she told me she was actually much younger than 21. I did not break the law. I live in a state … Read More »

Family Ties

I’m a 25-year-old gay man. My parents have been divorced most of my life, and my dad came out to me as gay when I was 15. I came out to him and everyone else when I was 18. We’ve always had a good relationship, but we don’t see each other that often because we … Read More »