1. This debate is raging again, Dan, and we need you to issue a ruling: Do straight women belong in gay bars? Some (straight women, gay bars), not all (straight women, gay bars). 2. Why do men keep ghosting me after sex? I’m a 25-year-old woman. No clue. You could’ve had a string of bad … Read More »

I am a bisexual cis woman in my forties. My boyfriend is a straight cis man in his thirties. I had limited experience prior to our relationship. That being said, it hasn’t stopped my boyfriend from providing all the pleasure I can imagine for the most part. There is just one thing I want to … Read More »

I am a 45-year-old woman married to a wonderful 43-year-old man. We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. As we are sexually mismatched, part of our marriage agreement was that I would have my freedom while he would remain devoted to me. How has that worked out? Wonderfully, for the most part. While my husband’s … Read More »

I am a 28-year-old cisgender sex-repulsed asexual gay man. While some asexuals choose to have sex for the pleasure it provides their partner, sex-repulsed asexuals like me do not engage in sexual activity and do not wish to be exposed to it. As a sex-repulsed asexual gay man, I feel alienated when I enter gay spaces like … Read More »

Dear Readers: It’s my birthday this week — thank you very much — and I’ve retreated to a secret, undisclosed location (without Internet access!) to ignore, er, celebrate the occasion. So, in place of a regular column (you ask, I answer) below you’ll find some questions I posted to Struggle Session, a weekly bonus column … Read More »

1. Quick & dirty question about online dating: What’s the best next step after texting? Audio message? Phone call? Video date? Or a quick, in-person meet-up? I recommend a quick video call — a brief FaceTime chat — before that first brief, in-person meeting in a public place. If someone isn’t willing to jump on … Read More »

I’m a gay man in his early 30s who’s into sex stripped down to its most basic elements: tops come in, fuck me, come and go. I’ve moved to a new city. One guy in his mid-twenties came over, and we had awkward but passionate sex like that. We chatted a little afterward. I went to … Read More »

After 19 years together, my husband and I have finally managed to have a really good conversation about our desires. We both struggled to nail down what it is we want — he is a long-term Catholic guilt sufferer — but got to talking about what porn he likes. Turns out he’s into these coercive type scenes, … Read More »

What do you think of a man who lied to a woman to manipulate her into staying in a relationship knowing that if he told her the truth she would leave? My boyfriend agreed to exclusivity and monogamy. He immediately began to violate this agreement. He lied repeatedly to me about who these other people … Read More »

1. Why do so many people — even kinky ones — regard the Daddy/babygirl dynamic as hot but think Mommy/little boy role play is disturbing? Because people can’t stand to see middle-aged women happy and in control. 2. Am I on the asexuality spectrum or do I just have a very low sex drive 95% of … Read More »