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The Thursday Letter: Good Bars and Crazy Connections

Before we get to The Thursday Letter: an important correction from Robert via email… I’m responding to your description in your last podcast of Richard Gere’s role in the film Looking for Mr. Goodbar. You said that his character — whom you described as gay — kills Diane Keaton’s character at the end of the … Read More »

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Group Dynamics

I’m a 37-year-old (mostly) straight man who has been in and out of a series of committed, monogamous relationships for most of my adult life. I’m now at a point where I am feeling torn in two, and it doesn’t seem like there’s anyone in my life who I can ask for help who won’t … Read More »

The Thursday Letter Is Back, Baby!

The Thursday Letter is back! But a few quick things before we get to it… First, Megan has some very-late-breaking comics news to share with me… Not sure if Dan knows, but he got name dropped in Daredevil #20, written by Mark Waid and it was released in November 2012. I am VERY behind in … Read More »

The Backlog

Been away for two weeks — happy to return to a packed inbox. Let’s get to the questions! — Dan I’ve wavered on sending this but I need advice. There’s this woman I’ve known most of my life. We are very close and we have as close to an open book friendship as I can think of. … Read More »

Married People

Dear Readers: I’m on vacation — second and last week — and will be back with new columns next week. Please enjoy this selection of letters from three previously published columns in the meantime. — Dan I was raised in a religious home and didn’t lose my virginity until the embarrassing age of 26. I … Read More »

Stay With Us

Dear Readers: I’m on a vacation (and bed rest) this week. Please enjoy this selection of letters from three previously published columns. — Dan Borrowing Gen Z’s love for labelling everything, I’m a 46-year-old homoromantic asexual Canadian faggot. For me that means I’d like to love and be loved by another man but I’d hate having … Read More »

Quickies

1. Will I ever get over my ex who’s packing? If you mean packing in the “putting things in bags” sense of the term, then your ex hasn’t even moved out yet. Give it a minute. If you mean packing in the “my ex has a massive cock” sense of the term, you may never … Read More »

Flagging Indicator

Bi female here. I’ve been seeing an ENM M/F couple for almost four months. The F was an acquaintance of mine for about two years. We are all close in age (late thirties, early forties). This is my first ethically non-monogamous relationship. Here are the pros: they are charming and attractive; the sex is great; … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: Please Delete Me!

Before we get to The Thursday Letter — which is day late (forgive me, dear readers, it’s been a hell of a week) — a quick update from BUMP, the pregnant woman who wrote in wondering if she should share the crazy sexual fantasies she was having late in her pregnancy with the wife she’d … Read More »

The Bends

I’m going through a really difficult time, and I could really use some perspective. I’m a gay 47-year-old man with a husband of 25+ years. We have two young children in the house. My husband and I are monogamish, and our relationship is okay. Not great, not terrible. Up until about three years ago, I … Read More »

Hang On Snoopy

I’m a 47-year-old divorced dad. Met a 26-year-old woman nine months ago. Things have been great except for one thing: My girlfriend won’t give me access to her phone. When we met, I explained that I have trust issues due to the actions of my ex-wife (multiple infidelities, lies, gaslighting), and that I couldn’t be … Read More »