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The Bends

I’m going through a really difficult time, and I could really use some perspective. I’m a gay 47-year-old man with a husband of 25+ years. We have two young children in the house. My husband and I are monogamish, and our relationship is okay. Not great, not terrible. Up until about three years ago, I … Read More »

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“Savage Love” is America’s longest running sex advice column. A new column is posted every Tuesday. Become a Magnum Sub for access to the full column and the Struggle Session posted every Thursday!

Hang On Snoopy

I’m a 47-year-old divorced dad. Met a 26-year-old woman nine months ago. Things have been great except for one thing: My girlfriend won’t give me access to her phone. When we met, I explained that I have trust issues due to the actions of my ex-wife (multiple infidelities, lies, gaslighting), and that I couldn’t be … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: Naked and Afraid

One quick bit of feedback from an annoyed listener before we get to this week’s Thursday Letter: Says Wayne via email… Hi, Dan! I love nearly everything you have to say but there’s one big exception: you have a seriously unhealthy feeling about nudity. I’ve noticed it for years, but you topped yourself a few … Read More »

Quickies!

1. How do you tell the difference between a slow-burn connection and settling for something that’s just okay? There’s no settling down without some settling for…. because no one gets everything they want where romantic partners are concerned. So, if you’ve chosen someone you aren’t entirely sure about… welcome to the world’s most crowded club. … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: What What In the Butt

On Thursdays I share a question from a reader and try — I really, really do try my hardest — to let my readers give the advice. But first, a quick email from Extra… Lest we overrate hand jobs, Dan, Dicklord is here to remind us that they don’t always hit that spot. Catchy! And … Read More »

The Invite

I’m a late-thirties hetero married man. I’m also a flirt. I’ve known this about myself for a long time, and while my spouse knows this generally, she probably doesn’t know that I can lean into it a bit at times when she is not around. For a long time it was fine. I considered my … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: How Short is Too Short?

On Thursdays I share a question from a reader and try — I really, really do try my hardest — to let my readers give the advice… What advice do or the experts have for an older mom (60) who is trying to be sex positive and promote a healthy body image for her 14yr … Read More »

Cashing Out

I’m a straight woman in her early thirties dating a straight man in his late twenties. We’ve been together for two years. We kept things casual for the first sixteen months or so. When we had our “define the relationship” talk he agreed to a “no important secrets” policy. The big secret I shared with … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: Masturbatory Assists Are Real!

On Thursdays I share a question from a reader and try — try my hardest — to let my readers give the advice… Early fifties straight-ish bloke living in a regional city in Australia. I’ve been with my wife for 25 years, married for sixteen. We have a wonderful relationship, and you get quite a … Read More »

Cat Rules

I’ve been with my girlfriend for ten years. We moved in with each other three years ago. It’s not working for me. I love my girlfriend. She’s one of the kindest people I have ever met, slow to anger, and always listens first. We never fight, and I don’t want to break up with her. … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: All the Crazy Married People

On Thursdays I share a question from a reader and do my best to sit on my hands and let my readers give the advice. But first, some feedback… Says Thankful via email… Hey, Dan! In reference to the sexless marriage messages you get all the time, I just thought I would share this. Cis … Read More »