Wet & Messy

Her man used to enjoy chewing tobacco, and it messed up his teeth. He has quit at her behest, but now he really needs to see a dentist. She doesn’t want to shame him for his nasty mouth, but she also doesn’t want to kiss him. How can she gently guide him into a dentists chair?

A trans man is having a hard time finding women to date him. He insists he’s a catch, but the ladies aren’t biting. Why?

On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Peggy Orenstein, author of eight books including Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex. Her recent essay in the New York Times about the ubiquity of erotic choking among young people went viral, freaking parents out everywhere. Peggy and Dan talk about the dangers (both physical and emotional) of choking and then move on to more pleasant subjects: Like the Madonna/whore complex! And wanting someone you cannot have!

Lastly, a gay man has a wet & messy kink. Lube wrestling? Let’s go! Pie in the face? Yes, please! But even though his boyfriend is game, the caller still feels shame and has a hard time asking for the thing that turns him on the most.

You know what turns us on? Your calls. Usually.

Here’s the Eurovision song from 1969 Dan mentioned on the show:

Dan wants to thank Ted, who tagged Dan when he posted this on BlueSky: “Kirsti Sparboe was singing about tolyamory at Eurovision decades before Dan Savage coined the term,” wrote Ted. The song is titled “Oj, Oj, Oj, Så Glad Jeg Skal Bli” (“Wow, Wow, Wow, How Happy I’ll Be”) and the lyrics — translated into English — go like this:

“I’ve got the world’s most handsome guy, that’s for sure/But he has too much of an appetite for miniskirt invites/He runs after Eva, Lise, and Anne/Frolicking like a fish in the sea… Wow, wow, wow, how happy I’ll be/When he no longer needs girls other than me!”

In a sad display of the tolyphobia of the time, “Oj, Oj, Oj, Så Glad Jeg Skal Bli” came in last place!