Thanks Again

I’m taking the week off. Please enjoy these Thanksgiving-themed questions from the Savage Love archives. Gobble, gobble. — Dan Something is bothering me and I don’t know where else to turn. I’m a bisexual man. I’ve been married to a great guy for the past six years. Despite COVID, we gathered safely for an outdoors … Read More »


1. I met a man whose wife was ill. Their relationship was no longer sexual, and he was in a caretaker role, and seeking release. We fell in love, and he promised to marry me when his wife passed. That was five years ago. I know he isn’t lying about his wife’s illness, but I … Read More »

Him City

I’m a 27-year-old gay man, and things are going well for me. I’m doing good in my career, and outside of work things are going well, too. The only problem is that I’m missing a guy to share my life with. I currently live in Salt Lake City, and dating as a gay man here … Read More »

Not Glue

I wanted to record this for your podcast but I’m literally too ashamed to say it out loud. I was in a relationship for more than twenty years with a guy who abused me sexually, emotionally, physically, psychologically, and financially. I grew up in a pretty unstable (read: abusive and neglectful) household and I’m proud … Read More »

A New Dom

I’m a 36-year-old reader, a recent subscriber to your column, and a gay man from Europe. I had a late coming out a few years ago, due to some financial and social constraints. I lived with my family well into my twenties, and then later with flatmates, and as a consequence I have never had … Read More »

Vaxxed and Confused

My boyfriend is male, I am female, and we’ve been together almost three years. We live alone in separate homes, but spend about three or four nights a week together. We’re both fully vaxxed and boosted, and we mask in public, etc. On the Monday before Christmas, I started feeling mild symptoms but tested negative. … Read More »

Short Shorts

I have a fun little labeling question. I’m a non-binary person who was assigned male at birth (AMAB). I gravitate towards femininity in life and in love. My question is about the inclusiveness of the label “lesbian.” Is this a label only for women? Or is it inclusive of everyone who is feminine and is … Read More »

Backlot Access

I’m a 44-year-old gay male and I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I would like to find my way into an LTR, but I have a series of overlapping dating issues that I don’t know how to navigate. First, due to my career, I move around a lot, and often don’t see the point … Read More »

Female Trouble

I want to correct you on something you’ve said repeatedly: a man can “hide” his bisexual orientation. I disagree. I felt my boyfriend was gay or bi immediately, but he flatly denied it. But it was so obvious! He sucked at sex, he never initiated, and he was clueless about female anatomy! I was forced … Read More »

Do You Realize

I’m a 33-year-old straight female, been with my husband for ten years, married for six. When we first started dating, I was an extremely jealous person. Fortunately, I got it under control with lots of therapy. But once I did, I started having fantasies about him hooking up with other people. We incorporated these fantasies … Read More »