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Do The Thing

On the Magnum: Adam Zmith on Poppers
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A chill married lesbian is a little annoyed to hear that her consistently straight friend, engaged to a man, has announced that she is pan. She is pan, but she plans to remain monogamous with her husband. What’s more, she is throwing herself a coming-out-as-pan party. When the caller came out as lesbian, she got … Read More »

Legal Advice for Trans Folks

On the Magnum: Dr. Jen Gunter on a new BV study
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A gay man and his boyfriend are in an open relationship. His boyfriend forbids the caller from messing around with anyone in their friend group. But this friend group is super-kinky and super-horny, regularly propositioning the caller for naughty fun. It’s getting hard to say no… A trans guy still has “female” on his birth … Read More »

Quiet Down, Yankee Lady.

On the Magnum: What Are You Doing, Sunshyne?
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A woman’s 74-year-old father has started dating a 19-year-old woman, and no one in her family besides her is batting an eye. She’s horrified and refuses to meet the lass or speak to her father until the relationship ends. Is she being too harsh? A British poly man has an American girlfriend who comes to … Read More »

Damp January?

On the Magnum: Tawny Lara, aka the Sober Sexpert
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Here’s a little friendship drama to start the New Year: A woman and her pal “Jill” are going on a skiing trip in Japan with a group of people. Two of the men approached Jill to tell her they each had crushes on the caller, and asked her to broker a connection. Jill wants nothing … Read More »

Prepare to celebrate the Feast of the Ass.

On the Magnum: Medievalist Dr. Eleanor Jalenga
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Dan Savage is bringing back a forgotten Catholic holiday. On January 14, let us all celebrate the Feast of the Ass. Get your Feast of the Ass bundt cakes here. A woman’s beloved twin sister isn’t dating, isn’t getting on the apps, isn’t looking for a relationship. Should the caller keep trying to set her … Read More »

Lying Closeted Cop

On the Magnum: Dr. Ina Park on herpes fear
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A gay man was dating a closeted cop for 4 years. Then he found out that the cop WASN’T closeted, and WASN’T single (he has a live-in boyfriend,) but IS a big fat liar. Now the caller wants closure. A straight man just got dumped by his girlfriend after 1 1/2 years. His crime? He … Read More »

“Please Kick Me in the Nuts.”

Guest: Leigh Cowart
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“That’s so gay!” So said a 10 year-old boy and got himself punished by the teacher who overheard him. The boy’s father is calling for advice on how to explain why saying “That’s so gay” as a pejorative is hurtful. A man with a big ole wiener sees his long distance girlfriend once per month. … Read More »

It’s Lawyer Time

On the Magnum: Comedian Bonnie Klopfer
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A straight man confesses to lurking on Discord and masturbating to the pretty female voices he hears there. Nobody knows he is doing this (except all of us now.) Must he stop? With a new hostile regime about to take power, it’s more important than ever for queer and trans folks to get their papers … Read More »

“Honey, shall we go to the lesbian sex rave?”

On the Magnum: Mormon Housewives
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A lesbian couple has been together for a couple years, and things are still hot between them. But they wonder if they should check out a sex club just to add a little spice. They are monogamous, and have no interest in contact with other women. Their friends say it’s impossible to remain exclusive with … Read More »

Semen Terroir

On the Magnum: What Are John & Maria Doing???
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Oh no! He broke the flirting rules. He kissed a lady and lied about it. (He lies a lot apparently.) But now, it makes her sick to look at him. What now? A man and his boyfriend just bought a house together and they are setting up one of the rooms as a nursery…because they … Read More »