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Savage Lovecast Archives for 2016

RANDY RAINBOW

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In these dark times, there is a man to bring us joy. His name is Randy Rainbow. Dan and Randy talk about his brilliant YouTube videos, dealing with the election and farting. A woman in a long distance relationship doesn’t like the way her man goes down on her. So, she just sits there and … Read More »

Our LIVE Christmas show!

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It’s the happiest time of the year here at the Savage Lovecast, as we gather in Portland and also Seattle (somehow) for our annual-ish Christmas Special Extravaganza! Come for the snarky sex-advice, stay for the magnificent Shirley Gnome.

The dark tale of the Nazi Granny.

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A woman is living at her boyfriend’s house with his parents while he is away. Guess what! The dad has started kissing her on the mouth and tries to slip her the tongue. Should she tell her boyfriend that his father is a loathsome fiend? Speaking of loathsome fiends, a woman’s boyfriend is so obsessed … Read More »

Our new sex toy review!

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A poly woman is very happy with her much older dom. But ever since her mother saw some photos of her daughter all trussed up and naked, the boyfriend is totally not invited to Thanksgiving or Christmas. Is it the age difference? How can our caller convince her mother that her lover is a good … Read More »

Kink Bonanza with “No Safe Word.”

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A gay man wonders if it’s possible to have a happy, healthy, poly triad. Can sex give you acne? Dan consults a professor of dermatology to get to the bottom of this one. On the Magnum, a special treat for you uber-kinksters. The gentlemen from the No Safe Word podcast are on to discuss (among … Read More »

The Sex Robots are Coming!!!

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Here’s a happily married couple. He digs exhibitionism, which she indulged after taking a deep breath. She wants to try BDSM, but he isn’t having it. Is it her right to demand it, and what’s his god damn problem? A married woman likes to be fashionable and step out looking GOOD. But guess what! Her … Read More »

Dr. Lori Brotto on asexuality

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Welcome to the Savage Lovecast where we are ready to fight like hell to take our country back. Are you? Apparently, Trump-voting family members are a thing. Should you spend your holidays with these people? Dan’s answer will not shock you. A divorced man has started dating a new woman. When he was married he … Read More »

Bi Men Dating Straight Women

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A woman has been dumped by her boyfriend of 6 years. She is considering some sort of grand gesture to win him back. Should she throw a parade? Hire a lesbian motorcycle gang to deliver one single rose? Or maybe let him go? A 22 year old gay man has been dating a 58 year … Read More »

No on Prop 60!

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On the worst birthday EVER, a woman learns that her beloved long distance boyfriend…has a wife. If the wife asks her, should she lie for him? A man’s friend is dating a guy who gets coked up, turns the photos of her face-down and hires prostitutes to sleep with him in their shared bed. How … Read More »

Parenting Horror Stories

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A man has been with his boyfriend for 1.5 years. The caller’s family is loving and welcoming to the boyfriend. But the boyfriend’s family won’t accept his homosexuality and won’t allow the caller to join them at Thanksgiving etc. How long must our caller wait for his boyfriend to grow a pair, and tell his … Read More »

Sexual Advance Directives

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How is a sex worker supposed to deal with it when her clients keep quoting Donald Trump?! A woman is dating an insecure man who grabs her boobs at inappropriate times and then pouts when she tells him to stop. Can she retrain him to not act like such an imbecile? On the Magnum, Dan … Read More »

Porn talk with Dr. Marty Klein.

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A woman asks her boyfriend to tell her erotic stories when they are having sex. Is this too much to ask? He’s running out of plots. A distraught woman discovers that her ex from years ago put up naked photos of her online. Is there anything she can do? On the Magnum, a long discussion … Read More »

Senior Moments

I’m 64 years young, a musician, chubby, full head of hair, no Viagra needed, no alcohol, I don’t mind if you drink, smoker, yes I am. I am also faithful, loyal, and single for five years. No health issues, nada, zero, zilch. Not gay, not prejudiced against gays, pro-woman, Democrat, MASCULINE. Except I only like … Read More »

Vulva Va Voom

A question on your favorite topic, Dan. Just kidding, it’s a question about my vagina. I’m having a problem with the microbiome of my vulva and vagina. I’ve been going to my gyno for the last six months for recurrent bacterial vaginosis and yeast infections. She shrugs, gives me a script, the symptoms go away … Read More »

With the Liberal Redneck!

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Dan welcomes Trae Crowder, or “the Liberal Redneck” (our favorite redneck) to tackle some questions about conservative Christian bigots, guns and spit. It’s a great conversation- do have a listen. Also, a lesbian is dismayed that her girlfriend insists she take a shower every time they have sex. Is she a germophobe or… what? And, … Read More »

Cheats

I’m a guy, 35, and a cheating piece of shit. I’m engaged to a woman I love, but earlier this year I cheated on her. I have no excuse. She discovered the dating app I used, and we worked through that. But she doesn’t know that shortly after her discovery, I went ahead and cheated. … Read More »

With Cheryl Strayed

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A woman is horrified to discover her new boyfriend’s disgusting habit. This habit truly is one of the most revolting things we’ve ever heard, and you do know that we’ve heard a LOT, right? You’ll have to listen to find out what it is. A woman and her husband want to take the plunge and … Read More »

Quickies

I’m a 27-year-old straight male and a high-school teacher held to a strict code. I left my fiancée in June and haven’t had sex since. Needless to say, I’m really horny. I’m also in that weird in-between age where I’m not comfortable hanging out at college bars but I’m also a bit younger than most … Read More »

With Mistress Matisse

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A lesbian is about to go to a wedding with a bunch of conservative guests. And guess who’s going to be there! You’ll never guess. Ricky Santorum! How should she take advantage of this unusual opportunity? Dan chats with pro-dominatrix, writer and activist Mistress Matisse about SWOP Behind Bars- a project to support incarcerated sex … Read More »

No on 60

I’m a woman who watches porn—we do exist—and I have a mad crush on a male porn star named Small Hands. Unfortunately, his videos focus less on his handsome face and more on some girl’s ass. Do! Not! Want! Is there a way to ask a porn star to please make a few movies in … Read More »

With brother Bill Savage and Bailey Jay.

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A man is seeing a woman 12 years his senior. His friends think he’s nuts, but he’s having a great time. Is there something wrong here? A married man has come to realize that he is poly. His wife is still as monogamous as the day she married him. How can he get her to … Read More »

Milk Money

My husband left the picture recently, and I’m now a single mom supporting an infant in Toronto. I work a retail job and am drowning financially. I hooked up with a guy I met on Tinder, and I didn’t warn him that I’m still nursing because I didn’t even think of it. Luckily, he really … Read More »

Parents: You are being JUDGED.

A bi man in a poly triad wonders how to bring home his couple to meet the conservative parents. A woman enjoys following men around for the feeling of “predatory power” the pursuit gives her. Is this a problem? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Professor Barbara Sarnecka, in a “What You Got?” showing how … Read More »

Live in Chicago!

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Hey Chicago! We were in you! And we recorded the whole thing. Have a listen to our live show from last Spring at the Music Box Theatre. On the Magnum, Dan dares to argue with Heather Havrilesky (a.k.a “Ask Polly” from New York Magazine,) about the role of honesty in relationships. Also, a gay man … Read More »

Client Tell

I have been seeing sex workers for 30 years, and I shudder to think how shitty my life would have been without them. Some have become friends, but I’ve appreciated all of them. Negative stereotypes about guys like me are not fair, but sex work does have its problems. Some clients (including females) are difficult—difficult … Read More »

With the Workologist.

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A closeted bi woman, newly aware of her own bisexuality, feels guilty when she so much as hugs another woman. How can she get over it already? A lesbian is about to have her wedding. Does she have the right to exclude Trump supporters from the guest list? On the Magnum, Dan chats with NYT … Read More »

Had to Get Away

DEAR READERS: This is the final week of my summer vacation—but you’ve been getting a new column every week I’ve been gone, all of them written by Dan Savage, none of them written by me. Our final guest Dan Savage is an independent designer, illustrator, and animation director based in Brooklyn, New York. He created … Read More »

All I Ever Wanted

DEAR READERS: I’m on vacation for three weeks—but you won’t be reading old columns in my absence, and you won’t be reading columns by anyone who isn’t Dan Savage. You’ll be reading new columns, all of them written by Dan Savage, none of them written by me. Our second guest Dan Savage is 32 years … Read More »

At the Trump rally with Ana Marie Cox.

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Special guest ranter Ana Marie Cox tells us what it’s actually like at a Trump rally. (Spoiler: terrifying.) A gay man is living in a group house with a straight couple. When the man in the couple drinks, he gets a bit…handsy, much to his girlfriend’s delight. Should the caller get together with his roommate? … Read More »

Vacation

DEAR READERS: I’m on vacation for the next three weeks—but you won’t be reading old columns while I’m away. You’ll be getting a new column every week, all of them written by Dan Savage, none of them written by me. Dan Savage is a sports writer and the assistant director of digital content for OrlandoMagic.com, … Read More »

With Tegan and Sara

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A young man living at home is getting blamed for his father’s second divorce. That sounds like kind of a raw deal doesn’t it? A man is in a GREAT relationship with his girlfriend. It’s SO AWESOME. Except when she gets drunk and verbally abuses him. So there’s that. On the Magnum, Dan chats with … Read More »

Pokémon No

I can’t believe this is why I’m finally writing you. My husband is using Pokémon GO as an excuse to stay out until 5 a.m. with another woman. She is beautiful and about a decade younger than him, and he won’t hear me out on why this is bothersome. Our work schedules don’t match up, … Read More »

With MTV’s Ira Madison III.

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A man has started dating a woman he suspects is a virgin. She’s hot, but he doesn’t want to have to teach her about sex. Should he bail, or give her a few lessons? A woman fell into bed with a man so drunk, that he didn’t remember going down on her. Now he’s asking … Read More »

Interabang

I’m 28 years old and live in the Midwest. I’m intersex, but I identify as female. I am not out about being born intersex. Due to surgeries and hormones, I look like a fairly attractive female. I have been hanging out with a chill hetero guy, and things are getting very flirty. Is it unethical … Read More »

With the creators of “Tickled” the movie.

A woman is in a new relationship with a wonderful man! But! His ex keeps coming around leaving love notes, Victoria’s Secret receipts and otherwise marking her territory. How can the caller flush out the intrusive ex? What is the etiquette in asking out a guy at the gym to join you and your husband … Read More »

Three Peters

I’m sorry if my English is wrong. I’m writing from Germany, where I am being heartbroken and not knowing how to go on. I’ve been seeing a guy for a couple of months and slowly falling in love with him. “Peter” has always been very open to me about himself, his failed relationships, and his … Read More »

With Wonkette’s Rebecca Schoenkopf

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Last week, we asked our African-American listeners to call and speak their minds. Please listen to them at the end of the show. It’s the American thing to do. A woman is married to a man she knows is a creep. He pervs at all the wrong times to all the wrong people. So is … Read More »

Straight Up

I’m in my mid-40s, straight, never married. Ten months ago, my girlfriend of three years dumped me. She got bored with the relationship and is generally not the marrying type. The breakup was amicable. I still love her and miss her. Last week, I wrote her a letter saying that I still love her and … Read More »

With ex-Muslim sex blogger, Elynah.

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A woman with Catholic in-laws tries to figure out whether she should cave in to them and get her little baby baptized. Dan’s advice…may shock you. Then, Dan chats with ex-muslim sex blogger and children’s book author, Elynah about sex negativity in conservative Muslim communities. On the Magnum, Dan speaks with trans activist Parker Molloy … Read More »

Scenes from a Marriage

My wife and I have been married for 14 years and in a committed (I assumed) relationship for 17 years. Sex between us (often kinky) has always been great. We have a wonderful life together and two perfect children. I thought we were good; turns out things were too good to be true. I learned … Read More »

Emily Galati, live in Madison!

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The ins and outs of HUMP! Dan chats with Hump! Producer Tracey Cataldo about the Hump! Film Festival- what kinds of films you can expect to watch and how to make the kind of porn we want to see. What to do when your open relationship comes to a screeching halt? A married woman has … Read More »

Douche Moves

Is it a super douchey move to pretend to be a lesbian to avoid unwanted male attention? I’m a straight single woman in my mid-30s and a very plausible lesbian in terms of sartorial stereotypes. Occasionally a guy will hit on me in an awkward or creepy way, and I’ll trot out a line about … Read More »

With dating historian, Moira Weigel

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A woman has endured 10 years of sexual harassment from a creep she works with. How can she get him to stop without getting him fired? (Hint: It’s a trick question.) Dan and another gay guy get into a BIG FIGHT about guns!!! In a far more civil discussion, on the Magnum, Dan chats with … Read More »

Pups

There is a guy at my work who is into puppy play. I know this because I have some friends in the gay puppy community. I don’t give two shits what anyone I work with does to get off. All well and good, except… he wants us to call him Spike, his puppy name. Isn’t … Read More »

All Hail Panti Bliss!

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A tortured gay man can’t envision a world where it’s better to be out than to stay in the closet. Dan tries his darnedest to convince him. Hey fellow homos: call us and pitch in, won’t you? A woman catches her boyfriend signing up for a hook-up app. What does this mean? On the Magnum, … Read More »

Diapers and Peepers

I’ve been dating a nice guy for a month or so. Sex is good, and we’re faulty compatible in other ways, too. He told me he likes to wear diapers. He said he doesn’t want me to do it with him, but that every once in a while he likes to wear them because it … Read More »

Dan’s response to the Orlando massacre.

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Please listen to Dan’s response to the Orlando massacre. In lighter fare… A 19 year-old bi lass worries that she’ll never get to try ladies if she stays with her monogamous-minded man…forever. Is there any hope for her? A man is about to meet a woman he’s been having phone sex with for the first … Read More »

Dicks Deluxe

I’m a 33-year-old straight guy with a small dick. I have a girlfriend of seven years. When we met, I was really insecure and she had to spend a lot of time reassuring me that it didn’t matter—she loved my dick, sex with me was great, it was big enough for her, etc. I broke … Read More »

Smashing the Herpes Stigma with Ella Dawson.

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A man is dating a woman who stopped putting on make-up and fixing her hair. If he asked her to start gussying herself up again, would that make him, like…you know…an asshole? A woman asks a question that sends Dan scurrying to the red phone to call a veterinarian for some expert advice. Why does … Read More »

The Kid

There’s this boy—he’s 29; I’m 46 and female. We met when we were 23 and 41. I was not and am not into little boys. The Kid chased me, and I turned him down for months—until I got drunk one night and caved. It was supposed to be a one-night stand, but it isn’t anymore. … Read More »

Decriminalization of prostitution: pros and pros.

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Ever since her brother walked in on her masturbating as a child, our poor caller thinks about him when she’s fantasizing. How can she get her brother out of her sex-head? In other yucky family dramas, a woman’s father has advanced dementia, and tugs it openly, all the time. It’s gotten to the point where … Read More »

Identity Cards

I am a 40-year-old woman; I came out when I was 16. When I was 17, I met M and we dated for eight years. M was a horrible human being—emotionally and occasionally physically abusive. M still sends me the occasional (creepy) e-mail, wishing me a happy birthday or giving me updates on people I … Read More »

Episode 500! With David Schmader and Doc Barak.

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This is our 500th episode. And we’re just getting started! This week, Dan chats with stoner, writer and delightful person David Schmader about his book “Weed: The User’s Guide.” Speaking of green, Dan has a thing or two to say about the Green Party. A 24 year-old Texan woman worries that if she breaks up … Read More »

Guilt Ridden

Over the years, I have consumed what I believe to be an average amount of porn for a 44-year-old hetero guy. I have never paid for it, and I am now facing a troubled conscience for that fact. I could obviously just subscribe to some site or other now, but that would benefit only one … Read More »

With Jillian Keenan and Joan Price

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What is the etiquette for when you run into someone who stood you up on a date? A woman’s friend is in a crappy marriage with 4 kids and a lying, cheating husband with a high profile in their church community. How can the caller convince her friend to DTMFA? On the Magnum, Dan chats … Read More »

Mating Games

Straight male, 48, married 14 years, three kids under age 10. Needless to say, life is busy at our house. My wife and I have stopped having sex. It was my decision. I get the obligation vibe combined with a vanilla sex life, and it just turns me off. We’ve had many conversations about it … Read More »

With Anna Pulley

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A caller wonders if super-rich people are naturally less monogamous than the rest of us. In other inane questions, exactly which, and how many of One Direction are gay? On the Magnum, Dan takes a few lesbian-oriented calls with author Anna Pulley. And, in a “What You Got?” Dan interviews Lea Seguin on the men … Read More »

Virgin Territory

I’m a 31-year-old straight woman. I have a good job, great friends, and average attractiveness. I’ve dated close to 30 men at this point, and I can’t wrap my head around this: I’ve never had a boyfriend or dated anyone for more than a couple months. It’s really starting to wear on my self-esteem. I … Read More »

Alice Dreger on bikinis for tweens.

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A woman’s sister has been in a secret relationship for 7 years. Can or should she talk her sister out of what she thinks is an unhealthy relationship? A woman discovers that she gets off from spitting in her boyfriend’s mouth. Is this common? Is this wrong? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Alice Dreger, … Read More »

The One-Night Stand

I am a trans man and I have no love life. But I did just hook up with a friend two nights ago. It was the first time I’ve had sex in more than a year. My problem is that it was a “one-time thing.” I was hoping to be FWB at least. I’m furious … Read More »

Sex Toy Extravaganza!

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It’s the sex toy extravaganza! After receiving a preternaturally high number of questions about sex toys, we decided to bring in a crack team of experts from women-centered, sex-positive stores across the US and Canada. What actually fits in a cock ring? How do you keep a dildo clean? What’s the best restraint to start … Read More »

Women on the Verge

I’ve been aware of my emetophilia since a very young age and have always kept it private. No need to tell me about the health risks, I’m aware, and I’ve only ever indulged this kink through videos online. The actual substance doesn’t turn me on—I have no desire to be puked on. For me, the … Read More »

Furries and Cheeseheads

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Furries and Cheeseheads: Join us in Madison, Wisconsin as Dan loves up his old college town. He took about a million questions from the audience and messed with their Midwestern heads.. On the Magnum, Dan chats with the charming hosts of Feral Attraction- the furry community’s sex and relationship advice podcast. Rrrowwrrr. 206-302-2064

Sweat

I’m a 49-year-old gay man. I’ve become friends with a 21-year-old straight guy. He’s really hot. He’s had to drop out of college and return home. I know he needs money, as he hasn’t found a job yet and has resorted to selling off old music equipment. I would love to have some sweaty clothes … Read More »

With Peggy Orenstein.

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A woman loves sexting with strangers she meets online. But she has no desire to meet in person. How and when should she let her fellas know this about her? What happens when homophobic parents never come around? Dan speaks with writer Aaron Hartzler, author of “Rapture Practice,” about coming out to intractable family. On … Read More »

With the makers of the “Give Me Sex Jesus” documentary.

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Let’s just say your girlfriend gets turned on by listening to you talk to other people on the phone. Would it be so, so wrong to keep the customer service agent from Verizon on the line, just so your girlfriend can listen to you from the other room, masturbating furiously? A woman in an open … Read More »

With poly pioneer Allena Gabosch.

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The rarest of lovely creatures, a male unicorn, is ANGRY because he sees a double standard among the straight couples he joins. They reject him when they learn that he’s been with other men before them. Whaaaaaat? PSA: Couples! Treat your unicorns right, will you please? In a classic conundrum, a woman is attracted to … Read More »

Dr. Debby Herbenick on ANXIETY ORGASMS.

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A straight man has begun a relationship with a transwoman. To put his question bluntly, is he obligated to suck her dick? How on earth is a nice gay man supposed to deal with his father when dad has sworn to vote for Donald Trump? A woman is horrified to see boudoir paintings of her … Read More »

Abbi and Ilana from BROAD CITY.

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Aw sheeeeeeee, guys. It’s Abbi and Ilana from BROAD CITY. Dan and the gals talk about period sex, pegging, smoking weed, beards and bumpkins among other things. You’ll also hear some inside dirt about their process in making Broad City and their plans for the future. These two are twin forces of nature and you … Read More »

Valentine’s Day Show Live in Portland.

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It’s the Valentine’s Day show! We recorded this at Portland’s Revolution Hall on February 14 in front of a very live audience. With musician/force of nature Rachel Lark, comedian/force of nature Bri Pruett and three game straight boys. 206-302-2064

With Seattle journalist Eli Sanders.

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A man raised fundamentalist Christian has discovered the pleasures of “titty-bars” where he can behold “beautiful boobies.” Now that he’s getting divorced, how soon should he tell the lucky ladies that he plans to date about his marital status? A woman’s boyfriend tells her to be quiet when they are having sex. “Shhhhhh,” he says. … Read More »

Planned Parenthood to the rescue!

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A mature 18 year-old has somehow failed to tell her real age to her new boyfriend who thinks she’s at least 20. How can she come clean? A man is totally into being cuckolded. Does his girlfriend have to tell her other lovers that they are part of a bigger picture? We are honored to … Read More »

Let’s hear it for companionate marriage!

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A woman is thinking of surprising her boyfriend with another woman to have a three-way with. Can Dan talk her out of it? An evenly bisexual man had to come out at his macho job as gay when was engaged to a man. Now that he’s dating a woman, does he have to come out … Read More »

Learn to Dom with Midori

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A gay man wants nothing more than to watch strong men flex their muscles for him. His straight friend is willing…but would it be too weird? A woman recently got broken up with by her boyfriend. She used to pay all the bills and float him cash. How can she ask for the money he … Read More »

Football! With Mike Pesca.

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If you are a straight girl, is it ok to seek friendship with a lesbian? Even if she has a girlfriend? (Actual question. Actually asked.) A young man is dating a former anorexic, former model and the sex is great. But! She is still living at home and has burned through all of her allowance, … Read More »

With Bailey Jay

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A woman’s roommate up and left without notice, leaving behind some expenses in the care of her sick, aged cat. Dan gets in full Judge Judy drag to help arbitrate this rather mundane dispute. Meanwhile, a lesbian wants her butt-plug back! She lent it to her girlfriend and then they broke up. Although things are … Read More »

Parents and their trans kids.

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A young woman is about to embark on a three-way with her boyfriend and another man. How can she make sure the experience isn’t demeaning? A gay man has incest fantasies. How can he find a man willing to role play a father-figure? A married woman and her husband prefer to use condoms. So why … Read More »

With Dr. Lori Brotto.

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What to do when your drunken cousin starts blabbing about all the affairs she’s having and all the cocaine she’s snorting and all the traffic accidents she’s having? A professor is in anguish because she is about to sleep with a much younger, very good looking FORMER student. A couple of her (male) colleagues think … Read More »

Second Opinion with Mallory Ortberg.

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In two separate calls, straight men are harassed by their gay male friends. One caller had his buddy drunkenly grope him. The other’s pal assails him with aggressive sexual innuendo. Knock it off fellas! A married woman has a husband who doesn’t trust her. She comes home late from her bar job and he assumes … Read More »