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Savage Lovecast Archives for 2009

Happy New Year to our perverted listeners. Be the first to call in 2009:…

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Happy New Year to our perverted listeners. Be the first to call in 2009: 206-201-2720 Today’s episode is brought to you by AdamandEve.com.

Hooray! It's the good doctor Barak!…

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Hooray! It’s the good doctor Barak come to answer your gnarly medical questions! Call us at 206-201-2720. This episode was brought to you by Audible. Download a free audio book of your choice today: http://j.mp/savageaudible Today’s episode is brought to you by Adam & Eve. Receive 50% off most any item, when you enter “Savage” … Read More »

Did you hear the news? Science approves of porn! How many dating sites can…

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Did you hear the news? Science approves of porn! How many dating sites can your boyfriend be an active member of before you have the right to get pissed? And from coming out to bedbugs: the complete lesbian experience. And more! Call us at 206-201-2720. Today’s episode is brought to you by Adam & Eve. … Read More »

More with the webcamming! A woman is doing it. Her BF doesn't know…

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More with the webcamming! A woman is doing it. Her BF doesn’t know about it. Is it cheating? In a similar conundrum, a woman wants to watch two guys doing it. But her BF doesn’t know about this desire. She’s contacted the guys on Craigslist… should she tell her man? And, hear the tale of … Read More »

Is it wrong for a fellow who loves big asses to ask his big-assed girlfriend…

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Is it wrong for a fellow who loves big asses to ask his big-assed girlfriend to shake it for her man? A white bi man is only attracted to black men and Asian females. Hand-wringing ensues. A man’s sister is getting married. She has Asperger’s and a lot more sexual experience than her fiancé. Is … Read More »

Special guest star Mistress Matisse joins Dan to answer a cavalcade of kink…

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Special guest star Mistress Matisse joins Dan to answer a cavalcade of kink questions! And more. Always more. Call us at 206-201-2720. The Mistress commands you to check out her website at www.MistressMatisse.com. Today’s episode is brought to you by Adam & Eve. Receive 50% off most any item, when you enter “Savage” at check-out: … Read More »

Is a dom entitled to sex with her sub on her birthday, even if he…

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Is a dom entitled to sex with her sub on her birthday, even if he doesn’t wanna? In another sub call, a bondage-loving woman goes from aroused to totally freaked out in the blink of an eye. What went wrong? What the heck is going on in Tonga? What the fakelele? Call us at 206-201-2720. … Read More »

After a drunken, seedy hookup with an alleged straight man, a gay man…

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After a drunken, seedy hookup with an alleged straight man, a gay man wonders if he should follow up. Will he still love him tomorrow? For a couple who suffers from recurrent miscarriages, sex = death. Sharing butt plugs: How do you do it safely? And more. Always more. Call us at 206-201-2720. Today’s episode … Read More »

Fruit fetish! A woman enjoys being penetrated by fruits and vegetables. The…

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Fruit fetish! A woman enjoys being penetrated by fruits and vegetables. The problem? Her husband won’t eat the bananas. A man has been subtly propositioned by a married couple to have a three-way. He wants to… BUT HE’S SCARED. Bawk. Bawk. Bawk. Is having a child like having a dog? Or like having a heroin … Read More »

Sexual allergies: Can sex make you sneeze? Learn something new about your…

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Sexual allergies: Can sex make you sneeze? Learn something new about your nose. When doling out wedding invitations, a caller wonders if he should include the third partner of a polyamorous couple. Mustache musk: A man’s lover has stank in his ‘stache. Call us at 206-201-2720. This episode was brought to you by www.DigitalDesire.com/Savage.

He's fat and won't lose weight for her. If he won't shape up,…

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He’s fat and won’t lose weight for her. If he won’t shape up, should she ship out? His latest hookup is still in the closet. Should he keep fucking him or drag him out? Her boyfriend is going bald. Should she dump him now before he becomes Dr. Phil? That’s cold. Call us at 206-201-2720. … Read More »

A college sex educator is horrified to hear that one of her students is…

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A college sex educator is horrified to hear that one of her students is planning on hooking up with a sadistic psychopath. Should she offer to chaperone? Mother? I’d like to tell you all about my polyamorous new relationship! How can a man tell his girlfriend that he’s planning on donating sperm to his best … Read More »

Sure, you give advice to married men, but who speaks for the piece on the…

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Sure, you give advice to married men, but who speaks for the piece on the side? Is it safe to shift from anal to vaginal sex? A bi man into three-ways, four-ways, and double penetration battles his girlfriend’s creeping regret. And more. Call us at 206-201-2720. Today’s episode is brought to you by Adam & … Read More »

A woman loves fucking a man who's convinced she's going to hell. A…

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A woman loves fucking a man who’s convinced she’s going to hell. A man broke his cock whilst betwix his lady’s legs in the shower. Is it time to see a doctor? Ever seen a dick that looks like a soup can? Well HAVE YOU? Don’t stew. Call us at 206-201-2720. This episode was brought … Read More »

What do you call a horny 17-year-old who wants to have lots and lots of…

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What do you call a horny 17-year-old who wants to have lots and lots of casual sex? (A slut?) Did you know that there is a button you can press that will make a man “magically gay”? Guess where it is: up his ass! Is it okay for a woman to miss the ex-boyfriend who … Read More »

Porn expert Violet Blue joins us to give women-friendly porn…

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Porn expert Violet Blue joins us to give women-friendly porn recommendations. A 37-year-old sex worker freaks out after sleeping with a flawlessly beautiful 25-year-old man. Suddenly, she’s not the hottest thing in the room. When friends come out: Sometimes it ain’t pretty. And more. Call us at 206-201-2720. This episode was brought to you by … Read More »

It's the dead-boyfriend episode! Two tales of women left behind. Dan…

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It’s the dead-boyfriend episode! Two tales of women left behind. Dan Savage enlists the help of bondage rope expert Monk to convince a feminist that it’s okay to indulge her submissive fantasies. Mormons! Sometimes they change their minds. And more. Call us at 206-201-2720. This episode is brought to you by www.SquareSpace.com.

Can a woman have a clit so enormously large that it warrants being called an…

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Can a woman have a clit so enormously large that it warrants being called an “outie”? A bisexual (gay) man wonders how long he can continue in his heterosexual marriage. A bleeding-heart liberal lady worries that if she calls the cops on a man waving his dick at her on the bus that she’ll be … Read More »

A man used to getting it every day "at least once a day" is…

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A man used to getting it every day “at least once a day” is engaged to a woman who won’t put out. Should he call it off? A teenage lesbian has a super-creepy neighbor who hits on her and threatens suicide. Classy, right? Hear the disturbing tale of the sex-crazed lawyer. And more. Call us … Read More »

A GGG (good, giving, and game) woman is willing to pee on her husband but…

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A GGG (good, giving, and game) woman is willing to pee on her husband but finds it physically difficult. How can she learn to let loose? Nonconsensual choking: It’s neither cool nor hot. A man and his big-muscled girlfriend have broken up. How can he find another lady willing to grow big biceps for him? … Read More »

Oh, bloody hell! An American woman met a British chap in England and fell in…

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Oh, bloody hell! An American woman met a British chap in England and fell in love. Now they’re together in the U.S., but he’s going home soon. What’s a lovesick Yank to do? A jealous woman is so in love, and it’s a beautiful thing. Should she slash her boyfriend’s ex’s tires? Hear three tales … Read More »

Marshmallow up the ass. Any potential dangers? Speaking of danger, a woman…

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Marshmallow up the ass. Any potential dangers? Speaking of danger, a woman wants to try choking and wonders how to do it safely. Do thongs give you gas? Can you get infections from text toys? Apparently, this is the show of danger! Call us at 206-201-2720. Today’s episode is brought to you by AdamandEve.com.

A woman living in Wasilla, Alaska, wants to mate with a local. Odds are,…

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A woman living in Wasilla, Alaska, wants to mate with a local. Odds are, he’s a batshit-crazy Christian conservative. Should she fuck him anyway? A gay man into dom/sub play wants to do a frat-boy scene. If you dare, hear his sinister scheme. A woman is fed up with her boyfriend’s use of baby talk … Read More »

A straight man is suddenly turned on by his male coworker. Is he a 'mo…

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A straight man is suddenly turned on by his male coworker. Is he a ‘mo now? A career military man wonders if it’s unethical to seek a mate, knowing she’ll have to follow him all over the world. A drug counselor takes Dan to task for recommending XTC. Dan takes her to task for being … Read More »

It's the Crazy Fucking Parents episode! Enjoy. Call us at 206-201-2720….

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It’s the Crazy Fucking Parents episode! Enjoy. Call us at 206-201-2720. This episode was brought to you by Audible.com. Download a free audio book of your choice today at AudiblePodcast.com/Savage.

A woman agonizes over whether she should tell her two gay friends that they…

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A woman agonizes over whether she should tell her two gay friends that they are both getting played by a new man on the scene. A self-described “fuck machine” has finally met someone she really likes. But when they have sex, her boyfriend seems to turn into Dick Cheney. A man has unwittingly trained his … Read More »

Dan? I love the ladies, but I also love cock. What should I call myself? Bi?…

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Dan? I love the ladies, but I also love cock. What should I call myself? Bi? Metrosexual? Dan? A self-described bisexual lady is horrified to discover that she is only attracted to men. A straight woman uses a sex- and relationship-advice podcast to satisfy her curiosity about gay sex. And more. Call us at 206-201-2720. … Read More »

A high-school student marvels at the vast army of bisexuals marching through…

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A high-school student marvels at the vast army of bisexuals marching through the halls. A man got his messed-up girlfriend pregnant. Now she’s living in hotels with the child, and he wants custody. Is it cool to wear your girlfriend’s clothes at work? Actress dates actor. Actor breaks up with actress. But now, actor and … Read More »

Two tales of texting exes: Is obsessive texting a modern way of cheating?…

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Two tales of texting exes: Is obsessive texting a modern way of cheating? Her friend is in a miserable, sexless marriage. Is it wrong to advise her to cheat in order to save the relationship? A betrothed couple have been saving themselves for marriage for religious reasons. But what if they’re a lousy match sexually? … Read More »

A man in his 20s is dating an 18-year-old woman. He's trying to be a…

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A man in his 20s is dating an 18-year-old woman. He’s trying to be a good and responsible lover but still wonders if he’s a creep. A man and his mother watching TV together argue about whether rape fantasies are icky or not. She’s into being humiliated. He’s into humiliating her. Still, she wonders: “Why … Read More »

First, a semantics discussion. Does the word "fetish" have to be…

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First, a semantics discussion. Does the word “fetish” have to be so very dirty? A man in his 20s wonders if he can calm his brain down and curb his desire to bang every woman he sees. A woman complains that her lover won’t go down on her, yells at her, and then whines that … Read More »

Poly pain: It's so sad when one person wants to open the relationship…

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Poly pain: It’s so sad when one person wants to open the relationship and the other doesn’t. You know what else is sad? When your boyfriend tells you he’s “asexual.” A woman with strong pro–gay rights views discovers to her horror that her fiancé is against gay marriage. And a lot more. Call us at … Read More »

A woman wonders if she lacks a clitoris. Dan speaks with a guest…

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A woman wonders if she lacks a clitoris. Dan speaks with a guest human-sexuality expert to get the answer. A 19-year-old REALLY doesn’t want to get his anorexic girlfriend pregnant. Would you? A fit and confident 17-year-old gay boy on the swim team struggles with his crush on a macho dickhead. And a lot more. … Read More »

A potentially kinky female college nerd is having a hard time finding others…

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A potentially kinky female college nerd is having a hard time finding others of her ilk. A gay man wants to come out to his longtime conservative religious buddy. Does this spell the end of their friendship? She likes lesbian porn. She lies to her boyfriend about liking lesbian porn. What will happen when she … Read More »

Obama has yanked funding for abstinence-only education. But the damage is…

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Obama has yanked funding for abstinence-only education. But the damage is done. Just how dumb is our children? Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. But boy has decided to adhere to an obscure Jewish tenet that disallows any contact between boys and girls. What’s a nice sane Jewish girl to do? She likes to be … Read More »

A caller, speaking for all the unrealizable fetishists of the world,…

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A caller, speaking for all the unrealizable fetishists of the world, reassures Dan that he needn’t worry so much. Dog custody: the problem with visiting her dog is that she has to see that other bitch. Listen to a man fight for self-control as he describes his jealousy problem. A conversation with Tristan Taormino, author … Read More »

OMG! After we stayed at my aunt and uncle's place, they totally found a…

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OMG! After we stayed at my aunt and uncle’s place, they totally found a used condom and some lube! But it wasn’t ours! Should a gay man come out to his extended family at an upcoming wedding? Ladies: Dan Savage, noted homosexual, tells you where your G-spot is. A woman’s coworker identifies as male. But … Read More »

Centaur fetishists are coming out of the woodwork!

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Centaur fetishists are coming out of the woodwork! Has anybody heard of the “A-Spot,” or is Cosmopolitan magazine fucking with our heads? Are kid-shaped robots for pedophiles in our future? Virginity: Ladies find it hot, too, you know. And a lot more. Call us at 206-201-2720 Today’s episode is brought to you by AdamandEve.com.

A gal threw up a little orange soda while going down on her fella. Disaster…

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A gal threw up a little orange soda while going down on her fella. Disaster or no biggie? On the raging controversy of penis versus vagina, DAN GETS SCHOOLED. By a sex professor, no less. On the problem of romance for sex workers: One caller is a go-go boy who finds his lovers freak the … Read More »

A 25-year-old virgin man never enjoyed sexual activity until he fixed the…

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A 25-year-old virgin man never enjoyed sexual activity until he fixed the medical problem with his dick. Now how can he explain his late virginity? A confused masochistic lesbian needs to learn how to back away from the BDSM roles with her twisted top lover when they’re out of the sack. A transgender teenager is … Read More »

Men who love pegging, and the ladies willing to oblige them. Two sordid…

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Men who love pegging, and the ladies willing to oblige them. Two sordid tales. Women are supposed to have their sexual peak in their 30s. Here’s a woman who thinks she peaked at 16. In an earlier call, a teenager confessed his desire to knock his girlfriend up. Did he? And more. Call us at … Read More »

A formerly obese gay teen worries about his stretch marks. A man can't…

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A formerly obese gay teen worries about his stretch marks. A man can’t come, not even when drunk. A woman worries that she will soon be an unwilling date-rape accomplice. And more. Call us at 206-201-2720 This episode was brought to you by Audible.com. Download a free audio book of your choice today at AudiblePodcast.com/Savage.

A doctor who is against vasectomies? WTF??!! An ugly man implores other ugly…

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A doctor who is against vasectomies? WTF??!! An ugly man implores other ugly men to lower their expectations. More cock-hungry lesbians, and other delightfully offensive topics. Call us and SCREAM! 206-201-2720 Today’s episode is brought to you by AdamandEve.com.

Here's a brainteaser: If a man is into sounding, could he possibly…

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Here’s a brainteaser: If a man is into sounding, could he possibly stretch his urethra out so much that he can have the equivalent of a pussy fart, only from his dick? Facial remorse: A 23-year-man wonders if giving a facial to a “slutty” 16-year-old is a good idea. A kinky man wonders how he … Read More »

A sexually adventurous lass must lure her lover out of their boring old bed.

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A sexually adventurous lass must lure her lover out of their boring old bed. A twisted teen dreams of impregnating his girlfriend. To answer a tranny question, Dan elicits the help of Buck Angel, “The man with a pussy.” So much snooping! A woman snoops in her daughter’s journal only to discover that the daughter … Read More »

A man and his lady just broke through the condom. She took Plan B, but how…

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A man and his lady just broke through the condom. She took Plan B, but how likely is it that she is now pregnant? A libido-lacking lass would prefer chocolate ice cream to sex. How can she fix herself? Is nude housecleaning a viable career choice? How do you tell your small child that daddy … Read More »

Poor, poor caller. His dick is so big that his friends make fun of his…

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Poor, poor caller. His dick is so big that his friends make fun of his “magnum” sized condoms. A married woman in an open relationship wonders if it’s too much to ask for her husband to refrain from PASSING OUT DRUNK and sleeping over at his lover’s house. Is it okay for a coach to … Read More »

How do you gently tell your girlfriend that the other girl in a three-way…

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How do you gently tell your girlfriend that the other girl in a three-way gives better head? Dan speaks with Wayne Besen from Truth Wins Out about the absurd “ex-gay” movement. And more. 206-201-2720 This episode was brought to you by Audible.com. Download a free audio book of your choice today at AudiblePodcast.com/Savage

Her boyfriend got caught in a stinky lie. Are there more to come? Poor young…

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Her boyfriend got caught in a stinky lie. Are there more to come? Poor young kinky lady… all the men she meets at sex clubs are dirty old men. The spark is gone, the sex isn’t fun anymore—and they’re not using birth control. Brilliant! A straight woman in the Bible Belt feels terribly, terribly guilty … Read More »

His dick is shaped so crazy, he can't find a condom to fit the thing!…

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His dick is shaped so crazy, he can’t find a condom to fit the thing! What is the polite way to kick the third in your three-way out of your bed? Crazy in-laws: Will their problems plague the caller for the rest of her life? And more. 206-201-2720 Today’s episode is brought to you by … Read More »

One caller has got herself a crossdressing grandpa. Another caller has got…

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One caller has got herself a crossdressing grandpa. Another caller has got himself a psycho girlfriend. Yet another caller has a boyfriend who’s ashamed of sex. And a very lucky 4-month-old has a very cool dad. Whatchoo got? 206-201-2720 This episode was brought to you by Audible.com. Download a free audio book of your choice … Read More »

Is impotence a silent epidemic afflicting our nation's menfolk? Why…

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Is impotence a silent epidemic afflicting our nation’s menfolk? Why would anybody want to be friends with an ex? What on earth is that brown fluid? These and other questions you never knew you had are answered by America’s Sweetheart: Dan Savage. Ask away: 206-201-2720 Today’s episode is brought to you by AdamandEve.com.

A couple weeks ago, "Macho" asked the question on many chagrined…

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A couple weeks ago, “Macho” asked the question on many chagrined straight men’s minds: Why do so many fem lesbians prefer butch dykes over men? The lesbians called in by the dozens to answer this question. Their answers just might shock you… Shock us. 206-201-2720 Today’s episode is brought to you by AdamandEve.com.