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Savage Lovecast Archives for 2022

Emily Post’s Awesome Great, Great Grand-Children.

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A trans man has heard that desperate straight men have been scouring Grindr looking for trans men because they will accept any vagina at all. Is it true? How can he weed out these unscrupulous, horny cads? As a woman from Texas was researching how to obtain a medical abortion, a scammy, stealth anti-abortion “pregnancy … Read More »

With comedian Matteo Lane.

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A short man who is newly returned to the dating world finds his height is disqualifying him from a lot of women. Does this happen in gayland?  A 39 year-old straight man just can’t keep an erection when he’s wearing a condom? How common is this condom conundrum? On the Magnum, comedian Matteo Lane DARED … Read More »

Have you heard of cock rings??!! With Erika Moen.

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A GGG wife wants to give her man the thing he most wants: his tongue in her ass. But she’s so ding-dang ticklish down there, it’s a no go! How can she learn to suppress her (not sexy) giggles?  A former stripper now has a “straight” job. But her co-workers are a nest of slut-shaming, … Read More »

Sex & Politics #15: Chris Geidner

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Dan welcomes Chris Geidner- legal journalist of Grid News, MSNBC and Law Dork, to discuss the latest batshittery coming from the conservative Christian U.S. Supreme Court.  The case involving 303 Creative is a potential threat not just to LGBT rights, but to all of us and our civil liberties. Geidner has been following the Supreme … Read More »

So many wee beasties! With STI expert, Dr. Ina Park.

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A 32 year-old man had a cold sore once when he was 15. Does he now have to disclose this every time he goes in for a kiss?  As a man’s 20 year marriage was ending, he had an affair with an old friend. They were together for 2 1/2 years after the marriage ended. … Read More »

Chasers! With Trans Writer Evan Urquhart

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A gay man seeks out masseurs who turn out to be erotic body workers. They initiate a sexual encounter, which the caller enjoys very much. But is it wrong to see them? And why do they recoil when he tries to touch them? Night Terror! A woman had a great time with a dom who … Read More »

“Heart of the Dominatrix” with Inanna Justice

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Her new boyfriend has been caught in an extortionist’s web. He wanked to a woman’s video online and she sent him and the caller video, threatening to send it far and wide if he didn’t pay her. Now the caller is wondering if this is just how the ride is gonna be with this guy.  … Read More »

Sex & Politics #14: Tim Miller

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Gather round all ye politicos, and revel in this conversation between Dan Savage and former Republican, now apostate pundit Tim Miller. As one-time insider of the Republican Party, Miller’s insights are truly delicious.  They talk about the mid-terms, the world of hurt Kevin McCarthy faces with his slim majority packed with literal lunatics, and whether … Read More »

With Ben Dreyfuss

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She used to masturbate as often as 20 times in day. But after getting on medication for depression, her libido crashed. She’s off the meds now, but still hasn’t regained her mojo. How can she recover her lost sex drive?  A woman went to a sex club with her husband for the first time. It … Read More »

Sex & Politics #13: Rachel Cunliffe

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For this episode of Sex & Politics we take a needed break from U.S. politics and journey to merry old England. Dan brought on our UK correspondent, Rachel Cunliffe (of The New Statesman,) to talk about Lady Di, the under-appreciated romance of Charles and Camilla, Brexit, some tee-vee show called “The Crown,” step-parenting, and of … Read More »

Ejaculate Responsibly with Gabrielle Blair.

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Ok, here’s the problem: She gets too wet. She only recently learned how to orgasm, and now she’s making up for lost time. But her skilled boyfriend needs a little more…friction. What can they do? A gay man got an anonymous text saying that a friend of his is a rapist and a predator. This … Read More »

Dumped! By Text! With Allison Goldberg.

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Family drama ahoy! A married man is in a carefully constructed open relationship. But when his wife’s sister found out about it, she went ballistic and told the whole family. Now the caller is cut off from his in-laws, and never gets to see them. He and his wife are buying a house, and his … Read More »

Sex & Politics #12: James Kirchick

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Alright students, put your desks in a circle- it’s history lesson time! Dan welcomes James Kirchick, author of Secret City: The Hidden History of Gay Washington to talk about the Lavender Scare, and other horrifying ways gay people have been persecuted in this country. Fun fact: gay people were banned from working in the federal … Read More »

With “Scream Queen” Kate Siegel.

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A woman just broke up with her boyfriend (for unknown reasons). He used to shower her with praise. “You could be a fashion model!!” Now that he’s gone, how can she find another man to who will heap her with the praise she needs and craves?  On the Magnum, Dan keeps Halloween holy by inviting … Read More »

With Elisa Wells from PlanCPills.org

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A married woman is pregnant with her second child. Over the years she has become more and more interested in kink and rough sex. But her husband feels pressure to be more dominant. Will she go back to preferring vanilla sex once the pregnancy hormones are gone? Why does she suddenly feel this way?  A … Read More »

Sex & Politics #11: Cory Doctorow

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On this episode of Sex & Politics, we are thrilled to welcome Cory Doctorow. He is a prolific fiction, non-fiction and tech writer, and an intellectual property activist. He and Dan discuss his latest book (co-authored with Rebecca Giblin,) Chokepoint Capitalism: How Big Tech and Big Content Captured Creative Labor Markets and How We’ll Win … Read More »

The Science of Squirting.

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Ka-ching! A gay man suddenly found himself in a Fin Dom relationship when a guy dropped $100 in his account and started calling him “sir.” The caller wants to keep it going, but he also wants to make sure it’s ethical.  A student teacher is horrified to hear some of his kids call each other … Read More »

What is a “Sex Therapist” anyway?

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A woman and her boyfriend use condoms. But she really, really wants his come inside her. Can she save some up, wait until there’s no threat of pregnancy, and then use it as lube? How long must she wait?  A woman has always had a hard time reaching orgasm, even before she got on mental … Read More »

With LGBTQ YA author Adam Sass.

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His last girlfriend was into spanking. They both enjoyed this very much. You know who didn’t enjoy it at all? His dog, who now whimpers whenever it’s master starts kissing someone. How can he train his sensitive pooch to be more kink-positive? A man is dear friends with a straight couple. But they are breaking … Read More »

Dr. Carlton Thomas is Here for the Butt Stuff.

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A woman discovered that her 80 year-old father has been downloading porn, and it’s mucking up his computer. She *could* teach him about Pornhub and other streaming sites. But her father already spends too much time in front of a computer, and really could use some exercise and contact with people. Will more porn just … Read More »

Sex & Politics #9: Jenn Mason

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Our guest on this month’s Sex & Politics holds the unique distinction of being on her local school board, AND a sex toy shop owner. Her store, Wink Wink, bills itself as “not creepy” and offers UnCringe Academy- a 6 hour program of genuine sex education. This plus the fact that Wink Wink is an … Read More »

Do monkeys use sex toys? Why, yes they do!

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If you were married for 13 years and your husband never gave you orgasms, and then when you told him this, he lied and claimed that he was never coming either, would you stay married to him? Would you really? A gay man worries that he might be freysexual. He loses sexual interest once he … Read More »

Healing Yourself from Sexual Trauma with Rena Martine.

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A straight man in his 40s can only come if his lady is so, so, very wet. Is this a kink? Also, as he and his partners are aging, the likelihood of his finding a woman who can accommodate him diminishes. What can he do to ensure middle aged orgasms for all? A man’s husband … Read More »

Medieval Kinksters with Eleanor Janega.

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A woman’s fiancé wants her to ride him. She’s game but feels self-conscious because she’s big and has some body issues. He loves her body just as it is. How can she embrace her inner big cowgirl? A woman is dating a few men casually. Some of these guys do bondage and impact play leaving … Read More »

Sex Negativity with Katherine Dee.

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A tantric tease gave his buddy a long, erotic, boner-ifying massage which the caller describes as the best non-penetrative sex he has had…ever. But the dude is in a monogamous relationship, and because there was no penetration, never considered it cheating. Now the caller is panting with lust and wants more.  A woman’s friend was … Read More »

With exvangelical writer Chrissy Stroop.

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A polyamorous trilingual woman wants to explore dirty talk. Her lovers all speak different languages. But she finds that when she’s talking dirty in her mother tongue it sounds and feels more aggressive than she would like. Any multi-lingual dirty talkers out there with wisdom to share?  A bi woman and her man used to … Read More »

Sex & Politics #8: Gareth Russell

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Everybody ready for a break from our fraught political moment? Pour yourself a drink, sit back and let Dan Savage and historian Gareth Russell take you back to a simpler age where women got beheaded for having premarital sex. That’s right! It’s Henry the VIII, baby! Gareth Russell’s book Young and Damned and Fair: The … Read More »

Pills by the bed, with Ellen Forney.

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A man is about to have his wedding. He and his fiancé are swingers, and he wants the whole wide world to know it. His fiancé is more reticent to let family members know. Should he tell his children that they will be staying at a swinger’s resort after the ceremony and that they plan … Read More »

Bi men, we see you!

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So many bi and adventurous queer men this week! A 61 year-old gay man has never, ever, ever been near a vagina since he emerged from one 6 decades ago…until now. He is seeing a trans man and finds he is loving pleasing him, but can’t quite make penetration work.  And, another gay man had … Read More »

Sex & Politics #7: Michelle Goldberg

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Oh boy! We are so very honored to welcome Michelle Goldberg to Sex & Politics. Michelle Goldberg is an author and opinion writer for the New York Times. She and Dan commiserate about the state of left wing politics. Why is the right so successful at growing their numbers while the left fights among ourselves? … Read More »

How to not get monkeypox: with Dr. Carlton Thomas.

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We’re putting out a special extra show for you all. It is becoming clear that monkeypox is spreading quickly through the gay community, and that the national response has been disorganized and unclear in its messaging. Dan spoke with Dr. Carlton Thomas, a gastroenterologist, who has been treating gay men, and attests to how painful … Read More »

With Dr. Jen Gunter

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My boyfriend is TOO HOT! A woman is dating a very gorgeous man. The ladies come running when they walk into the bar, and some of them get nasty. At first the caller found this an exciting turn-on. But now she just feels jealous and demoralized. How can she turn the jealousy into arousal?  A … Read More »

Non-Monogamy Help with Lola Phoenix

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A bisexual woman came out to her conservative mother, and amazingly, she didn’t flip out. But she did beg the caller to keep it secret from the rest of the family. Mommy thinks there should be white pride parades. The caller’s girlfriend is Black. What could go wrong? A transman likes violent sex, almost crossing … Read More »

With Disability Expert Andrew Gurza

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A bi man in an open relationship is disgusted by sweat- his lover’s and his own. How can he mitigate his revulsion? A macho, macho man wants to know why he (or anyone) is into hot wifing. Dan breaks it down and spells it out.  On the Magnum, a man with cerebral palsy doesn’t have … Read More »

Let’s learn about monkeypox!

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Look out, it’s a nibbler! A woman hates the way her new boyfriend kisses her. He nibbles on her lips even though she tells him to knock it off. Is this a worthy reason to dump him?  A married gay man and his husband are newly polyamorous. But the caller wants absolutely nothing to do … Read More »

With Jamie Barton and David Drake

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A gay Irishman had a terribly unpleasant experience, when the man he was screwing twerked and gyrated until it felt like his dick was about to fall off. Is this a thing that’s happening? Or only on the Emerald Isle?  A singer is worried that rough oral sex could harm her vocal cords. But she … Read More »

“Sides” with Dr. Joe Kort

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Kissing?! Blecchhh! A 33 year old woman is a bit of a late bloomer. She has just started dating, and likes to have sex. But the kissing? It disgusts her. Her shrink told her she just hasn’t met the right guy. But she knows better. She doesn’t like to kiss and that’s that. How can … Read More »

With Ryan O’Connell

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Believe it or not, a male dom is struggling with how to be selfish in bed. As a dom, he learned to please his sub and obtain consent every step of the way. But his current girlfriend wants him to do whatever he wants. He just doesn’t know what that is… A mother overheard her … Read More »

Talkin’ Broadway with Jesse Tyler Fergusson

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A woman has been with her boyfriend for one year. She knew he was into cam girls from the beginning of the relationship. But lately he watches cam girls all the time- even when they are having sex. Now that he is choosing cam girls over the caller, she’s beginning to wonder if there might … Read More »

Pegging WILL be in the Oxford English Dictionary…

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A bi man in a monogamous heterosexual marriage keeps having his sexuality questioned by gay friends. It’s super annoying! Should he even bring up his bisexuality? Should he feel miffed?  A woman with a newish boyfriend wants to try some consensual non-consent. Specifically, she wants to be woken from a deep sleep to him having … Read More »

Behold Randy Rainbow!

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A trans man used to be an escort before his transition. Now that he is hornier than ever on testosterone, he wants to try sleeping with gay men. But in his escorting days he would disassociate to get through the sessions. How can he learn to be more present in bed with cis men?  A … Read More »

Sex & Politics #4: Senator Scott Wiener

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Welcome to Sex & Politics #4. This week, Dan welcomes California State Senator Scott Wiener to talk about the work he has done to alleviate the housing crisis. It’s a refreshing interview with a politician who is doing his darnedest to make good change. Will he ever run for Governor? He says no. (Dan says, … Read More »

Mistress, may I say “whore?”

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An Australian woman in her mid 20s fondly remembers the intimate online relationship she had throughout high school. She thought he was 20, and though they never met in person, they would chat well into the early hours every night. Recently, she became curious about what became of him. She learned that he was in … Read More »

England has Sex Scandals Too!

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“Help! I’m trapped with my very nice in-laws! “ An introverted woman loves her husband’s family dearly. But when they all descend on her house and stay for weeks with their kids and their dinners and their constant togetherness, she loses her mind. How can she carve out a little alone time without offending the … Read More »

Sex & Politics #3: Dr. Stacy De-Lin

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It’s bummer time. Dan interviews Dr. Stacy De-Lin, an Associate Medical Director at Planned Parenthood, and an abortion provider, about the crisis we now face in this country with the imminent overturn of Roe v. Wade. Dr. De-Lin talks about the new struggles women are facing in red states who are trying to get abortions. … Read More »

Who are these sex doll owners?

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A man is excited to marry his beloved fiancé. But he harbors a corrosive secret. Early in their relationship he went to massage parlors for happy endings. He’s done with all that now, and feels terribly ashamed. But should he tell her? Does he owe her the truth? Can she handle the truth? Can he … Read More »

Rethinking Sex, with Christine Emba

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A gay man discovered that his friend had a nude photo of him on his phone. The caller had asked him to take the picture so he could edit it and send it to another dude. But the friend kept the pic for himself and sent it to other people without the caller’s knowledge or … Read More »

With Anna Sale!

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Mazel tov, you’re a new daddy! And by “daddy” we mean a queer, dirty-talkin’, older dom. A newly single bi man in his 40s suddenly finds himself with a bevy of young men who want him to play this role, and he doesn’t know where to begin.  More semen please! A man wants to know … Read More »

With comedian Gianmarco Soresi

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A woman discovered that her boyfriend cheated on her. How did she know? He washed his own sheets for the first time EVER. When confronted, (after lying at first,) he said that men need variety and monogamy is unnatural. Is this correct?  A man and his husband now live apart because one of them didn’t … Read More »

How to say “No” with Justine Ang Fonte.

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A woman and her husband are getting into group sex. The catch? She’s newly pregnant. Should she disclose this to participants?  4 years ago, soon after a woman got together with her boyfriend, in a fit of paranoia, he checked to see if she was indeed doing what she said she would be doing with … Read More »

Fake! Fake! Fake!

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Strap in (or on) for a wild ride folks, because this is the April Fool’s Day show. We asked you to send in fake calls and you came through in a big way. It is Dan Savage’s challenge to spot the phonies.  A woman wonders how to help her friend dispose of his unwanted sex … Read More »

Vibing with Laura Kipnis

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A woman with teenaged kids has started seeing a man she’s known for a decade. It’s a dom/sub relationship, where she is the dom. Part of their arrangement is that she gets to date other people and he does not. She has always been transparent and open with her kids, but she hasn’t told them … Read More »

Sex & Politics #1: Amanda Marcotte

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It’s our first Sex & Politics show! Here is where we’ll spotlight guests with a focus on politics. But don’t worry, we’ll make sure there’s a little sex too. Our first S&P is with Amanda Marcotte from Salon. Remember when the left was known for being kind of… fun? What happened? Amanda and Dan discuss … Read More »

With former Republican strategist, Tim Miller.

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Gather round listeners, and hear the gruesome tale of a spit roasting mishap.  A Ukrainian queer woman living in Canada is horrified and heartbroken that her Russian grandmother is not only homophobic, but pro-Putin as well. How do you maintain a relationship with such a person?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with his old enemy, … Read More »

PSA: Don’t Spray Foam Into Your Urethra. 

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A man matched with a woman in an ethical non-monogamous relationship. She proposed they meet at a lifestyle club. He had never heard of lifestyle clubs before and wonders if this is an elaborate scam to boost the club’s membership. Is this on the up and up?  A man started seeing a new woman, and … Read More »

My New Boyfriend’s Mom Saw My Nudes.

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It’s pretty much the nightmare scenario. Her new boyfriend gave her a digital picture frame. She mischievously sent him a nude, not knowing that it would post to a whole network of his friends, including his conservative Evangelical Christian mother. She hasn’t met his mother yet. When the day comes, how can she look her … Read More »

With Shan Boodram!

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Hey everyone! Meet your new co-worker, and her …master. At the work party, the new gal showed up with her 24/7 master who fed her in front of everyone, the whole time. Now, the caller doesn’t want to be sex-negative or anything, but is this appropriate workplace etiquette?  Next up! Do you like to crank … Read More »

With the gals from Guys We F****d!

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Hoo boy do we have a goodie for you today.  First off, a woman and her boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. They stay home, watch tv, play videos games and don’t have sex. When one of them tries to initiate, they both feel too silly to get in the mood. How can … Read More »

Don’t ghost. Hire a ghost writer to break up for you.

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Ah Valentine’s Day. This year, Dan will finally teach you how keep it spicy…very, very spicy. Let’s tuck in. Inevitable Divorce: A man with a history of divorce in his family was chatting with a friend about how he would consider marriage when he could afford to get divorced. But his boyfriend of 3 years … Read More »

Good Porn with Erika Lust

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A man regrets breaking up with his girlfriend. He always does this! He ends his great relationships because his expectations are too high. Would she consider coming back to him? Should he even ask?  Erika Lust who is making waves with her ethical, woman-centered erotic films. She and Dan have a long convo on how … Read More »

It’s Cuck Week! It’s Cuck Week!

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That’s right, all of you who enjoy watching your partners sleep with others now are officially celebrated ALL WEEK LONG. And here at the Savage Lovecast, we’re delighted to take part.  Venus Cuckoldress is on to talk about her podcast, and to advise a woman about her plan to have a gang bang on her … Read More »

With the mischievous Zach Noe Towers.

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Oh no, it’s a three-way gone bad! A woman and her fiancé agreed to sleep with their friend. She set her very clear boundaries, and guess what? He and the gal broke them all in a triumph of cruelty and inconsideration. Now what? They have been together for 12 years. Can you imagine? A poly … Read More »

Choking: The Other Epidemic.

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A happily married trans man came out to his mom. She didn’t take it well. She told him that if he changed his name it would kill her. Then she died. Now he is faced with a choice- should he use his former name at the funeral gathering, or use his true, current name?  A … Read More »

A Study of Hypno-Porn. 

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Let us start the New Year with…blackmail! A woman’s boyfriend got ensnarled by an extortionist on a kink website who sent private sexual photos to her family. Now she has to work through her anger and worry around sex and kink. Yuk, right? But then! You can hear the triumphant story of a man who … Read More »