I recently discovered,
accidentally, while moving things out of my 16-year-old son’s room
prior to a renovation, a cache of my sex toys that had mysteriously
disappeared over the past year. While I’ve wondered how it was possible
to misplace a glow-in-the-dark crucifix-shaped dildo (complete with
Jesus in relief), it never dawned on me that it might be an inside
job.
This raises several issues. There’s the
you-stole-my-stuff problem, with responses available from the full
range of the passive-aggressive scale. But the nature of the swag
complicates matters. I kind of need to know whether he took them to
snicker over with his friends or whether he has used them. I’m dead
certain if he’s used my insertables, that he did so without putting
condoms on them first.
So it seems I need to force the
you-stole-my-stuff conversation in order to have the safe-toy-use
conversation....