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“Savage Love” is America’s longest running sex advice column. A new column is posted every Tuesday. Become a Magnum Sub for access to the full column and the Struggle Session posted every Thursday!

Savage Love Archives for 2024

Routine Maintenance

I’m off this week. Please enjoy this column that originally ran in December of 2014. — Dan What is your stance on maintenance sex? I’d never thought about the issue until reading Amy Poehler’s new memoir. I didn’t find anything she said controversial and was surprised when this quote blew up in the feminist blogosphere: … Read More »

STRUGGLE SESSION: Host Gifts, Wedding Nights, Truck Stops, and More!

On Thursdays I respond to comments from readers and listeners. These posts are for Magnum Subs exclusively. So, if you’re already a sub, thank you and read on! If you’d like to become a sub, head over here! Magnum Subs get the Magnum Savage Lovecast (more guests, more calls, no ads), the Maxi Savage Love … Read More »

Smash Button

My heart is breaking and it’s my own fault. I started cheating on my husband of 29 years, casually at first — making out, getting groped, no penetrative sex — and then I met a man and we just clicked. I caught feelings and we started to have an intense, kinky, and very sexual and emotional … Read More »

Struggle Session: Houseboys, Kitties, Doggies, PUDs, MUDs and More!

On Thursdays I respond to comments from my readers and listeners. (It’s still Thursday, right?) These posts are for Magnum Subs. So, if you’re already a sub, thank you and read on! If you’d like to become a sub, you can do that here! Magnum Subs get the Magnum Savage Lovecast (more guests, more calls, … Read More »

Obsessed

A therapist suggested I might have “Relationship OCD,” which is OCD with the obsessions and compulsions focusing on romantic relationships. While I haven’t been formally diagnosed, it rings true to me. As soon as I get close to someone, I experience so much anxiety. If I kissed a partner and they kissed me in a … Read More »

Quickies

1. How does one tell the difference between when someone says they love you in a Platonic way and when someone says they love you in a romantic way? One asks a direct question: “That’s nice — but do you mean that platonically or do you mean that passionately? Like, do you just wanna hang out … Read More »

Micro Nots

I was seeing this guy for about four months. We were pretty much dating, doing all of the normal boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. Everything was going great up until last night when he told me he feels all of these feelings for me, but they don’t mean anything because he’s felt this same way about others, but … Read More »

Script Doctor

I’m a cishet woman, married twenty years, three kids at home. My marriage is generally happy but it’s sexless. Going “companionate” was his decision, not mine. The absence of sex is driving me crazy, so my husband has given me his blessing to get sex elsewhere. It’s tricky, though, as it’s hard for me to … Read More »

Loading Zone

My boyfriend recently broke up with me. He confessed that he has been battling an addiction to orgies and couldn’t show up for our relationship in the ways I needed him to. Basically, he uses drugs and logs onto Grindr or Sniffies to find sex parties. He is into the kink of anonymous breeding. He … Read More »

Sexless Wonders

Have you ever seen a successful relationship when the sex was difficult from the start? Or even stopped early in the relationship? I have been with my boyfriend since August and I honestly lost my desire for him early on. He’s a bit of a hoarder and has some self-care and cleanliness issues, which I … Read More »