I’m a cis gay man in Canada. Other than my supportive enby partner of five years and a few close friends, most people in my life don’t know that I’m a fetish content creator. My stuff delves into the foot porn/macrophilia (love of giants) space. I don’t make enough to live off, but it’s a … Read More »

My boyfriend wants my permission to see sex workers. He did this quite a bit before we were together. He goes to Canada, where it’s legal and supposedly safer. He says he’s just trying to be open and honest about his desire for variety and that I should be glad he doesn’t want to cheat. … Read More »

I’m a woman in a new polyamorous relationship with a man who has a five-year-old daughter. He and his ex-partner split up a year ago and until two weeks ago, his ex wasn’t allowing him to see his child. However, once she learned of my existence, she suddenly changed her mind. I believe she’s letting … Read More »

1. I’m a single cis gay man and I’ve been going back and forth between wanting an open relationship or a throuple/quad when I start dating again. Do you have any advice or recommendations for finding out more about gay throuple/quad relationship structures? I’ve talked about open relationships and relationship anarchy with my peers and … Read More »

I’m involved with a guy who’s married and, yes, I’m a cliché and I know it. I don’t want him to leave his wife. I don’t even want to be involved with him physically and we aren’t doing anything physical. We’ve both been good about maintaining that boundary. But we are very involved emotionally. We … Read More »

I’m having a weird reaction to someone I’m involved with. I find myself wanting to punish him for the slightest transgressions and scold him or give him the silent treatment until he apologizes. The poor guy hasn’t done anything very wrong — nothing wrong wrong — he’s just failed to meet my unreasonably high expectations for him. … Read More »

I have a history of dating men I’m not attracted to physically or emotionally. I always found it weirdly comforting to know my boyfriend was obsessed with me while I had minimal feelings for him. I have explored this in therapy and chalk it up to lack of self-confidence. But a month ago I started hanging … Read More »

Would it be inappropriate to introduce my girlfriend to the kink/swinger scene if I plan to break up with her? I’ve been unhappy for a decade, but I’ve been able to fake the funk until pretty recently. I’ve been failing at that lately and the lack of sex is making her unhappy, as she has … Read More »

1. Best advice on dating without resorting to apps? Go places, do shit, meet people — fuck, rinse, repeat. 2. I’m about to visit a gay nudist resort for the first time (although I’ve been to heterosexual nudist resorts in the past). I’ve been bi all my life and am now in my 70s. What … Read More »

I’m off this week. Please enjoy this column that originally ran in December of 2014. — Dan What is your stance on maintenance sex? I’d never thought about the issue until reading Amy Poehler’s new memoir. I didn’t find anything she said controversial and was surprised when this quote blew up in the feminist blogosphere: … Read More »

My heart is breaking and it’s my own fault. I started cheating on my husband of 29 years, casually at first — making out, getting groped, no penetrative sex — and then I met a man and we just clicked. I caught feelings and we started to have an intense, kinky, and very sexual and emotional … Read More »

A therapist suggested I might have “Relationship OCD,” which is OCD with the obsessions and compulsions focusing on romantic relationships. While I haven’t been formally diagnosed, it rings true to me. As soon as I get close to someone, I experience so much anxiety. If I kissed a partner and they kissed me in a … Read More »

1. How does one tell the difference between when someone says they love you in a Platonic way and when someone says they love you in a romantic way? One asks a direct question: “That’s nice — but do you mean that platonically or do you mean that passionately? Like, do you just wanna hang out … Read More »

I was seeing this guy for about four months. We were pretty much dating, doing all of the normal boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. Everything was going great up until last night when he told me he feels all of these feelings for me, but they don’t mean anything because he’s felt this same way about others, but … Read More »

I’m a cishet woman, married twenty years, three kids at home. My marriage is generally happy but it’s sexless. Going “companionate” was his decision, not mine. The absence of sex is driving me crazy, so my husband has given me his blessing to get sex elsewhere. It’s tricky, though, as it’s hard for me to … Read More »

My boyfriend recently broke up with me. He confessed that he has been battling an addiction to orgies and couldn’t show up for our relationship in the ways I needed him to. Basically, he uses drugs and logs onto Grindr or Sniffies to find sex parties. He is into the kink of anonymous breeding. He … Read More »

Have you ever seen a successful relationship when the sex was difficult from the start? Or even stopped early in the relationship? I have been with my boyfriend since August and I honestly lost my desire for him early on. He’s a bit of a hoarder and has some self-care and cleanliness issues, which I … Read More »