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The weekly sex advice column that started it all

“Savage Love” is America’s longest running sex advice column. A new column is posted every Tuesday. Become a Magnum Sub for access to the full column and the Response Roundup posted every Friday!

Savage Love Archives for 2018

Two Breakups, One Brake On

I’m a thirtysomething straight woman married for 16 years. Eighteen months ago, I met a man and there was an immediate attraction. For the first 15 months of our relationship, I was his primary sexual and intimate partner, as both sex and intimacy were lacking in his marriage. (My husband knew of the relationship from … Read More »

Two Breakups, One Brake On

I’m a thirtysomething straight woman married for 16 years. Eighteen months ago, I met a man and there was an immediate attraction. For the first 15 months of our relationship, I was his primary sexual and intimate partner, as both sex and intimacy were lacking in his marriage. (My husband knew of the relationship from … Read More »

Quickies

I’m a kinky single woman who keeps attracting the wrong men for me—specifically, submissive guys into face-sitting. I’m submissive myself, and face-sitting is not a turn-on for me. But the vast majority of men who hit on me have this fetish. I think it’s a size-related issue—a my-size-related issue. I’m a full-figured/curvy woman with a … Read More »

Quickies

I’m a kinky single woman who keeps attracting the wrong men for me—specifically, submissive guys into face-sitting. I’m submissive myself, and face-sitting is not a turn-on for me. But the vast majority of men who hit on me have this fetish. I think it’s a size-related issue—a my-size-related issue. I’m a full-figured/curvy woman with a … Read More »

Slight Christmas

Straight and married but not boring, and heading to my parents’ house for our first family Christmas since my asshole MAGA brother “stumbled over” the Tumblr blog where the wife and I posted about our sexual adventures. (Pics of MMF threesomes and cross-dressing/pegging sessions, plus some dirty “true enough” stories.) My brother has always been … Read More »

Slight Christmas

Straight and married but not boring, and heading to my parents’ house for our first family Christmas since my asshole MAGA brother “stumbled over” the Tumblr blog where the wife and I posted about our sexual adventures. (Pics of MMF threesomes and cross-dressing/pegging sessions, plus some dirty “true enough” stories.) My brother has always been … Read More »

Cringe and Purge

I’m a 59-year-old man in good health. For basically my whole adult life, I’ve had this problem during intercourse with a woman of (1) being very quick to come and (2) having a too intense “cringey” sensation when I come. This has led to often going soft at the prospect of intercourse. This too-intense feeling … Read More »

Cringe and Purge

I’m a 59-year-old man in good health. For basically my whole adult life, I’ve had this problem during intercourse with a woman of (1) being very quick to come and (2) having a too intense “cringey” sensation when I come. This has led to often going soft at the prospect of intercourse. This too-intense feeling … Read More »

Savage Love

I’m a 30-year-old, Asian American, hetero-flexible cis woman. I’m also newly diagnosed with bipolar II. I’m on medication—the doctor is trying to figure that out—but no talk therapy for right now, as my last therapist wasn’t great and I haven’t managed to find a new one. My question for you is regarding the relationship between … Read More »

Savage Love

I’m a 30-year-old, Asian American, hetero-flexible cis woman. I’m also newly diagnosed with bipolar II. I’m on medication—the doctor is trying to figure that out—but no talk therapy for right now, as my last therapist wasn’t great and I haven’t managed to find a new one. My question for you is regarding the relationship between … Read More »

Stressfest

I’m a recently divorced single mom and full-time student. I’m really beginning to hurt financially and have decided to start working as an escort. I am at a point of great emotional stability, happiness, and confidence—all reasons that led to my decision—and I’m surrounded by people who love me and won’t judge me. (Not that … Read More »

Stressfest

I’m a recently divorced single mom and full-time student. I’m really beginning to hurt financially and have decided to start working as an escort. I am at a point of great emotional stability, happiness, and confidence—all reasons that led to my decision—and I’m surrounded by people who love me and won’t judge me. (Not that … Read More »

Bound and Gagging

I’ve always wanted to tie girls up, but I can never convince a woman to let me. Lately, I’ve been exploring “bondage singles” sites online, but I’m totally new to this. How do I know which ones I can trust? There are hundreds of profiles, but it’s hard for me to believe I can really … Read More »

Bound and Gagging

I’ve always wanted to tie girls up, but I can never convince a woman to let me. Lately, I’ve been exploring “bondage singles” sites online, but I’m totally new to this. How do I know which ones I can trust? There are hundreds of profiles, but it’s hard for me to believe I can really … Read More »

What Ain’t Broke

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately thinking about myself and my sexuality and my romantic self. I can log on and easily find someone to fuck. I’m a bear-built top guy. There are ladies in my life who choose to share their beds with me. I can find subs to tie up and … Read More »

What Ain’t Broke

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately thinking about myself and my sexuality and my romantic self. I can log on and easily find someone to fuck. I’m a bear-built top guy. There are ladies in my life who choose to share their beds with me. I can find subs to tie up and … Read More »

Floored

I’m a 40-year-old married straight woman. I gave birth to our first kid in 2015 and our second earlier this year. My perineum tore and was stitched both times. I have not been able to have sex with penetration since having our second child. My ob-gyn said I’m “a little tighter now” due to the … Read More »

Floored

I’m a 40-year-old married straight woman. I gave birth to our first kid in 2015 and our second earlier this year. My perineum tore and was stitched both times. I have not been able to have sex with penetration since having our second child. My ob-gyn said I’m “a little tighter now” due to the … Read More »

Meow and Forever

Hi, Dan: I am a homosexual young adult seeking advice about kitten play. I find it very intriguing, and I’m wondering where to start. It’s a turn-on when someone calls me kitten, but I’m not sure how to express my kink or desire for kink play to the person or persons I am into. Any … Read More »

Meow and Forever

Hi, Dan: I am a homosexual young adult seeking advice about kitten play. I find it very intriguing, and I’m wondering where to start. It’s a turn-on when someone calls me kitten, but I’m not sure how to express my kink or desire for kink play to the person or persons I am into. Any … Read More »

Pair of Jacks

I have a secret: For the past three months, I’ve been attending a local Jacks club (a men-only masturbation event). As someone recovering from sexual abuse, I find the party to be safe, therapeutic, and just sexy fun. I feel like I need this! Unfortunately, I spotted one of my employees at last week’s event. … Read More »

Pair of Jacks

I have a secret: For the past three months, I’ve been attending a local Jacks club (a men-only masturbation event). As someone recovering from sexual abuse, I find the party to be safe, therapeutic, and just sexy fun. I feel like I need this! Unfortunately, I spotted one of my employees at last week’s event. … Read More »

Quickies

I was involved with a straight man who enjoys cross-dressing and taking explicit photos. The problem is that the props he uses belong to his three children, all under age 12. For example, he dressed up as a slutty schoolgirl and wore his daughter’s backpack. He dressed up as a slutty cowgirl and posed with … Read More »

Quickies

I was involved with a straight man who enjoys cross-dressing and taking explicit photos. The problem is that the props he uses belong to his three children, all under age 12. For example, he dressed up as a slutty schoolgirl and wore his daughter’s backpack. He dressed up as a slutty cowgirl and posed with … Read More »

Hearts and Minds

Is it even possible for a couple that stopped having sex to start back up again? My girlfriend and I (we’re both women) have been together for four years, and we haven’t had sex for two. I thought the sex was good before it stopped, but apparently she was going through the motions. She’s a … Read More »

Hearts and Minds

Is it even possible for a couple that stopped having sex to start back up again? My girlfriend and I (we’re both women) have been together for four years, and we haven’t had sex for two. I thought the sex was good before it stopped, but apparently she was going through the motions. She’s a … Read More »

Needs & Deeds

I’m a 62-year-old woman. I was married for 33 years and left five years ago. We hadn’t gotten along for years, but he never stopped wanting or valuing me for sex—in spite of treating me like a household appliance and cheating on me regularly. Not long after the marriage ended, I met a guy online … Read More »

Needs & Deeds

I’m a 62-year-old woman. I was married for 33 years and left five years ago. We hadn’t gotten along for years, but he never stopped wanting or valuing me for sex—in spite of treating me like a household appliance and cheating on me regularly. Not long after the marriage ended, I met a guy online … Read More »

Second Opinion with Hola Papi!

A woman enjoys anonymous webcamming with older men. But do they cross a line when they both pretend that she’s… very young? A poly father doesn’t know how to explain his healthy, happy relationships to his 5 year old daughter. On the Magnum, Dan enlists JP Brammer, author of the “Hola Papi” advice column to … Read More »

Fresh Starts

I am newly divorced and have started a relationship with a man I’ve known and deeply cared about for decades. The sex is amazing—from start to finish, I feel better than I ever did even in the best moments with my ex. And in the most intense moments? He makes me see stars. He is … Read More »

Fresh Starts

I am newly divorced and have started a relationship with a man I’ve known and deeply cared about for decades. The sex is amazing—from start to finish, I feel better than I ever did even in the best moments with my ex. And in the most intense moments? He makes me see stars. He is … Read More »

Gay and Lonely

I am a gay man in my late 50s and have never been in a relationship. I am so lonely, and the painful emptiness I feel is becoming absolutely unbearable. In my early 20s, I hooked up off and on, but it never developed into anything. I have always told myself that’s okay; I’m not … Read More »

Gay and Lonely

I am a gay man in my late 50s and have never been in a relationship. I am so lonely, and the painful emptiness I feel is becoming absolutely unbearable. In my early 20s, I hooked up off and on, but it never developed into anything. I have always told myself that’s okay; I’m not … Read More »

Shooting Stars

I’m a cis woman in my mid-40s, and my significant other has a cuckolding fetish. My first response was “Oh, hell no!” But if I’m willing to have a threesome, how much further of a stretch is it, really? He does have some experience with this varsity-level kink, so he knows what to expect. I’ve … Read More »

Shooting Stars

I’m a cis woman in my mid-40s, and my significant other has a cuckolding fetish. My first response was “Oh, hell no!” But if I’m willing to have a threesome, how much further of a stretch is it, really? He does have some experience with this varsity-level kink, so he knows what to expect. I’ve … Read More »

Quickies

This woman has gone down on me (I’m a man) more than half a dozen times in the last three months. Each time seems to be better than the previous! She does not want reciprocation. She has also turned down all my offers for intercourse. As far as I know, she is heterosexual just like … Read More »

Quickies

This woman has gone down on me (I’m a man) more than half a dozen times in the last three months. Each time seems to be better than the previous! She does not want reciprocation. She has also turned down all my offers for intercourse. As far as I know, she is heterosexual just like … Read More »

Pickles & Surrogates

I’m in a pickle. All I want is to experience touch, intimacy, and sexual pleasure—but without freaking out. I grew up with a lot of negative messages from men due to developing early, as well as having some other physical/sexual trauma (no rape or abuse), but the combination has me seriously fucked up. Whenever I … Read More »

Pickles & Surrogates

I’m in a pickle. All I want is to experience touch, intimacy, and sexual pleasure—but without freaking out. I grew up with a lot of negative messages from men due to developing early, as well as having some other physical/sexual trauma (no rape or abuse), but the combination has me seriously fucked up. Whenever I … Read More »

Secret Perving

I’ve been enjoying consensual nonmonogamy for the past two years, in part thanks to your column and podcast. I have a delightful young lover, and our connection has evolved into a kind of Master/slave relationship. I “allow” her to fuck other men and women, and she delights in asking my permission and recounting the details … Read More »

Secret Perving

I’ve been enjoying consensual nonmonogamy for the past two years, in part thanks to your column and podcast. I have a delightful young lover, and our connection has evolved into a kind of Master/slave relationship. I “allow” her to fuck other men and women, and she delights in asking my permission and recounting the details … Read More »

Après Pill, Le Déluge

I’m a 27-year-old woman living on the East Coast. I’ve been sexually active and on birth control since I was 16—almost always on the pill. I recently switched to the NuvaRing, which I had a bad reaction to: I had no libido at all and extreme mood swings/bouts of depression I could not live with. … Read More »

Après Pill, Le Déluge

I’m a 27-year-old woman living on the East Coast. I’ve been sexually active and on birth control since I was 16—almost always on the pill. I recently switched to the NuvaRing, which I had a bad reaction to: I had no libido at all and extreme mood swings/bouts of depression I could not live with. … Read More »

Differences

I’m gay and have been dating a guy for 10 months. He’s great overall, and I would say for the most part we both want it to work out. But I am having a problem with his friends and other lifestyle choices. All of his friends are straight, and almost all of them are women. … Read More »

Differences

I’m gay and have been dating a guy for 10 months. He’s great overall, and I would say for the most part we both want it to work out. But I am having a problem with his friends and other lifestyle choices. All of his friends are straight, and almost all of them are women. … Read More »

Quickies

I’ve been faithfully reading your column in the Chicago Reader for years, and now I’m reaching out to you about my own problem. I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year. Everything is great, except one thing: He wants me to kick him in the nuts. It really bothers me, and I’m not sure … Read More »

Quickies

I’ve been faithfully reading your column in the Chicago Reader for years, and now I’m reaching out to you about my own problem. I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year. Everything is great, except one thing: He wants me to kick him in the nuts. It really bothers me, and I’m not sure … Read More »

Connections

I’m a 20-year-old submissive woman. I’m currently in a confusing affair with a 50-year-old dominant married man. He lives in Europe and has two kids close to my age. We met online when I was 17 and starting to explore my BDSM desires—out of the reach of my overbearing, sex-shaming, disastrously religious parents—and we’ve been … Read More »

Connections

I’m a 20-year-old submissive woman. I’m currently in a confusing affair with a 50-year-old dominant married man. He lives in Europe and has two kids close to my age. We met online when I was 17 and starting to explore my BDSM desires—out of the reach of my overbearing, sex-shaming, disastrously religious parents—and we’ve been … Read More »

Lopsiders

Longtime Savage Love fanboy with a bit of a conundrum—and it’s your fault! I’m a bi man in my 30s. To use Charles M. Blow’s word, my bisexuality is “lopsided.” This means that I fall in love with women exclusively, but I love to have sex with men occasionally. My current girlfriend not only approves, … Read More »

Lopsiders

Longtime Savage Love fanboy with a bit of a conundrum—and it’s your fault! I’m a bi man in my 30s. To use Charles M. Blow’s word, my bisexuality is “lopsided.” This means that I fall in love with women exclusively, but I love to have sex with men occasionally. My current girlfriend not only approves, … Read More »

It Got Better

In a recent column, you said you never hear from married couples whose sex life got better and more frequent over the years. Well, now you have. My wife and I were married 24 years ago, and we are currently having more sex and better sex than we did in the first years of our … Read More »

It Got Better

In a recent column, you said you never hear from married couples whose sex life got better and more frequent over the years. Well, now you have. My wife and I were married 24 years ago, and we are currently having more sex and better sex than we did in the first years of our … Read More »

Both & Baggage

When I started dating my husband, he told me he had a low libido. I said I could deal with that. We waited several months before having sex, and then after we started, it was infrequent and impersonal. There was some slow improvement over the three years we dated. Then we got married, and suddenly … Read More »

Both & Baggage

When I started dating my husband, he told me he had a low libido. I said I could deal with that. We waited several months before having sex, and then after we started, it was infrequent and impersonal. There was some slow improvement over the three years we dated. Then we got married, and suddenly … Read More »

Blown Away

I am a 24-year-old straight guy who recently broke up with my girlfriend of more than four years. One of the reasons we broke up was a general lack of sexually compatibility. She had a particular aversion to oral sex—both giving and receiving. I didn’t get a blowjob the whole time we were together. Which … Read More »

Blown Away

I am a 24-year-old straight guy who recently broke up with my girlfriend of more than four years. One of the reasons we broke up was a general lack of sexually compatibility. She had a particular aversion to oral sex—both giving and receiving. I didn’t get a blowjob the whole time we were together. Which … Read More »

Retroactive Blessings

Without snooping, I came across texts between my wife “Mary” and a guy “Jeremy” of a very sexual nature. While I would be okay if she were doing this and I knew about it, this has been going on since before we met. (We’ve been together 10 years.) She says she has never met him … Read More »

Retroactive Blessings

Without snooping, I came across texts between my wife “Mary” and a guy “Jeremy” of a very sexual nature. While I would be okay if she were doing this and I knew about it, this has been going on since before we met. (We’ve been together 10 years.) She says she has never met him … Read More »

Shameful

I’ve been married to my husband for two years. Five months into our relationship (before we got married), he confessed that he was an adult baby. I was so grossed out, I was literally ill. (Why would this great guy want to be like this?) I told him he would have to choose: diapers or … Read More »

Shameful

I’ve been married to my husband for two years. Five months into our relationship (before we got married), he confessed that he was an adult baby. I was so grossed out, I was literally ill. (Why would this great guy want to be like this?) I told him he would have to choose: diapers or … Read More »

What Works

I am a 38-year-old gay man with a serious problem. My boyfriend of five years has developed a strange fascination. We’ve always watched porn together, but now he has been looking at straight porn and even lesbian porn (!!!) more and more often. More than once he has expressed an interest in having a MMF … Read More »

What Works

I am a 38-year-old gay man with a serious problem. My boyfriend of five years has developed a strange fascination. We’ve always watched porn together, but now he has been looking at straight porn and even lesbian porn (!!!) more and more often. More than once he has expressed an interest in having a MMF … Read More »

Pissy

I like watersports, and I heard about a guy in a rural area who holds piss parties in his backyard. I found a mailing list for those interested in piss play, and it wasn’t long before he posted about one of these parties. People on the list talk a big game, but no one else … Read More »

Pissy

I like watersports, and I heard about a guy in a rural area who holds piss parties in his backyard. I found a mailing list for those interested in piss play, and it wasn’t long before he posted about one of these parties. People on the list talk a big game, but no one else … Read More »

Denver’s Oriental Theater

Savage Love Live at Denver’s Oriental Theater last week was epic. I fielded sex questions in front of a sold-out crowd, singer-songwriter Rachel Lark performed amazing news songs, comedian Elise Kerns absolutely killed it, and Tye—a token straight guy plucked at random from the audience—joined us onstage and gave some pretty great sex advice! We … Read More »

Denver’s Oriental Theater

Savage Love Live at Denver’s Oriental Theater last week was epic. I fielded sex questions in front of a sold-out crowd, singer-songwriter Rachel Lark performed amazing news songs, comedian Elise Kerns absolutely killed it, and Tye—a token straight guy plucked at random from the audience—joined us onstage and gave some pretty great sex advice! We … Read More »

Pedestrian AF

First let me say that I think you give excellent advice, even if it is a bit pedestrian at times. I have a small problem: Last fall, my penis bent up and to the left at an almost 90 degree angle. I know from Google that this is not an unusual problem. And at 59, … Read More »

Pedestrian AF

First let me say that I think you give excellent advice, even if it is a bit pedestrian at times. I have a small problem: Last fall, my penis bent up and to the left at an almost 90 degree angle. I know from Google that this is not an unusual problem. And at 59, … Read More »

Quickies

I wish I had a better question, but this is all I have: My friends and I were discussing the nuances of a straight orgy (a roughly equal number of male and female participants) versus a gang bang (one woman, many men), and we observed that there is no proper name for a one man, … Read More »

Quickies

I wish I had a better question, but this is all I have: My friends and I were discussing the nuances of a straight orgy (a roughly equal number of male and female participants) versus a gang bang (one woman, many men), and we observed that there is no proper name for a one man, … Read More »

Crushed

I’m a straight male in my 30s. I’ve been with my wife for 12 years. I have had several affairs. Not one-night-stand scenarios, but longer-term connections. I didn’t pursue any of these relationships. Instead, women who knew I was in an “exclusive” relationship have approached me. These have included what turned into a one-year affair … Read More »

Crushed

I’m a straight male in my 30s. I’ve been with my wife for 12 years. I have had several affairs. Not one-night-stand scenarios, but longer-term connections. I didn’t pursue any of these relationships. Instead, women who knew I was in an “exclusive” relationship have approached me. These have included what turned into a one-year affair … Read More »

Down There

Background: I, a 21-year-old male, enjoy receptive fisting. I’ve also had constipation problems all my life. Question: I saw my doctor recently, and he tried to link my enjoyment of anal sex to my constipation. (Granted, I didn’t tell him EVERYTHING I do down there.) My understanding was that there was no causal relationship, assuming … Read More »

Down There

Background: I, a 21-year-old male, enjoy receptive fisting. I’ve also had constipation problems all my life. Question: I saw my doctor recently, and he tried to link my enjoyment of anal sex to my constipation. (Granted, I didn’t tell him EVERYTHING I do down there.) My understanding was that there was no causal relationship, assuming … Read More »

Call for Submissions

I’m a 36-year-old straight woman. I was sexually and physically abused as a kid, and raped in my early 20s. I have been seeing a great therapist for the last five years, and I am processing things and feeling better than I ever have. I was in a long-term relationship that ended about two years … Read More »

Call for Submissions

I’m a 36-year-old straight woman. I was sexually and physically abused as a kid, and raped in my early 20s. I have been seeing a great therapist for the last five years, and I am processing things and feeling better than I ever have. I was in a long-term relationship that ended about two years … Read More »

Royal Oak Music Theatre

I visited Royal Oak, Michigan, for Savage Love Live at the Royal Oak Music Theatre. I didn’t get to all of the questions submitted by the large and tipsy crowd—a crowd that skipped the Stormy Daniels interview on 60 Minutes to spend the evening with me (so honored, you guys!)—so I’m going to race through … Read More »

Royal Oak Music Theatre

I visited Royal Oak, Michigan, for Savage Love Live at the Royal Oak Music Theatre. I didn’t get to all of the questions submitted by the large and tipsy crowd—a crowd that skipped the Stormy Daniels interview on 60 Minutes to spend the evening with me (so honored, you guys!)—so I’m going to race through … Read More »

Cock Locked

I’m in a D/s relationship. I’m not submissive around the clock, but my partner owns my cock. We’ve purchased several male chastity devices, but I can pretty easily get my cock out of them. My partner did some investigating and learned that the only effective devices work with a Prince Albert piercing—a ring through the … Read More »

Cock Locked

I’m in a D/s relationship. I’m not submissive around the clock, but my partner owns my cock. We’ve purchased several male chastity devices, but I can pretty easily get my cock out of them. My partner did some investigating and learned that the only effective devices work with a Prince Albert piercing—a ring through the … Read More »

Ace & the Hole

I’m a 26-year-old cis queer woman. My best friend has identified publicly as asexual for the past two years. She constantly talks about how since she doesn’t “need” sex, this means she is asexual. She does have sex, however, and she enjoys it, which I know isn’t disqualifying. But she also actively seeks out sex … Read More »

Ace & the Hole

I’m a 26-year-old cis queer woman. My best friend has identified publicly as asexual for the past two years. She constantly talks about how since she doesn’t “need” sex, this means she is asexual. She does have sex, however, and she enjoys it, which I know isn’t disqualifying. But she also actively seeks out sex … Read More »

What Is Love?

I’m a 33-year-old woman from Melbourne, Australia, dating a 24-year-old man. We’ve been dating for about eight months; it is exclusive and official. He’s kind and sweet, caring and giving, and his penis is divine. The thing is, he confessed to me recently that he doesn’t really “feel.” The way he explained it is, the … Read More »

What Is Love?

I’m a 33-year-old woman from Melbourne, Australia, dating a 24-year-old man. We’ve been dating for about eight months; it is exclusive and official. He’s kind and sweet, caring and giving, and his penis is divine. The thing is, he confessed to me recently that he doesn’t really “feel.” The way he explained it is, the … Read More »

Zaps

I’m an 18-year-old cis hetero girl from Australia and I’ve been listening to your podcast and reading your column since I was 13. Thanks to you I’m pretty open minded about my sexuality and body. Having said that, I do have a few questions. I started watching porn from a youngish age with no real … Read More »

Zaps

I’m an 18-year-old cis hetero girl from Australia and I’ve been listening to your podcast and reading your column since I was 13. Thanks to you I’m pretty open minded about my sexuality and body. Having said that, I do have a few questions. I started watching porn from a youngish age with no real … Read More »

Quickies

I recently stumbled on an Instagram account of a young woman who’s a “knife play” enthusiast. I consider myself sex-positive, but I must say I was disturbed by the images. I was also shocked that I didn’t know this was a thing! But of course it’s a thing cuz everything is a thing, right? I … Read More »

Quickies

I recently stumbled on an Instagram account of a young woman who’s a “knife play” enthusiast. I consider myself sex-positive, but I must say I was disturbed by the images. I was also shocked that I didn’t know this was a thing! But of course it’s a thing cuz everything is a thing, right? I … Read More »

Savage Love

I’m an 18-year-old female. I’m cisgender and bisexual. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with my cisgender bisexual boyfriend for about a year. I’m currently struggling with a lot of internalized biphobia and other hang-ups about my boyfriend’s sexuality. I don’t know if I’m projecting my own issues onto him or if I’m just being … Read More »

Savage Love

I’m an 18-year-old female. I’m cisgender and bisexual. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with my cisgender bisexual boyfriend for about a year. I’m currently struggling with a lot of internalized biphobia and other hang-ups about my boyfriend’s sexuality. I don’t know if I’m projecting my own issues onto him or if I’m just being … Read More »

Fighting Words

I’m a 24-year-old nonbinary person living in Florida. I have two wonderful girlfriends. One I have been with for four years (we live together). The other I have been with for a year and a half. They’re both brilliant, interesting, and kind. Both relationships have their issues, but they are minor. They know each other … Read More »

Fighting Words

I’m a 24-year-old nonbinary person living in Florida. I have two wonderful girlfriends. One I have been with for four years (we live together). The other I have been with for a year and a half. They’re both brilliant, interesting, and kind. Both relationships have their issues, but they are minor. They know each other … Read More »

Showing Up

How does one get into the gay BDSM bottoming and leather scene? Seeking Answers Concerning Kink One shows up, SACK. “Eighty percent of success is just showing up,” someone or other once said. The adage applies to romantic/sexual success as well as professional success, SACK, but showing up easily accounts for 90 percent of success … Read More »

Showing Up

How does one get into the gay BDSM bottoming and leather scene? Seeking Answers Concerning Kink One shows up, SACK. “Eighty percent of success is just showing up,” someone or other once said. The adage applies to romantic/sexual success as well as professional success, SACK, but showing up easily accounts for 90 percent of success … Read More »

Lesborama

I am a 38-year-old lesbian, very femme, very out. I have a coworker I can’t figure out. We’ve worked together for a year and gotten very close. I never want to put out the wrong signals to coworkers, and I err on the side of keeping a safe but friendly distance. This is different. We … Read More »

Lesborama

I am a 38-year-old lesbian, very femme, very out. I have a coworker I can’t figure out. We’ve worked together for a year and gotten very close. I never want to put out the wrong signals to coworkers, and I err on the side of keeping a safe but friendly distance. This is different. We … Read More »

Mother Love

My father left my mother abruptly when I was 14 years old, and he hasn’t contacted either of us since. It was a crushing blow for her, and she retreated from the world. She was never bitter about it, but it was devastating. She lost the love of her life for no apparent reason and … Read More »

Mother Love

My father left my mother abruptly when I was 14 years old, and he hasn’t contacted either of us since. It was a crushing blow for her, and she retreated from the world. She was never bitter about it, but it was devastating. She lost the love of her life for no apparent reason and … Read More »

Bloody Business

I’m a professional dominatrix, and I thought I’d seen everything in the last five years. But this situation completely baffled the entire dungeon. This middle-aged guy, seemingly in fine health, booked an appointment with me and my colleague for one hour of some very light play and a golden shower to finish off with. We … Read More »

Bloody Business

I’m a professional dominatrix, and I thought I’d seen everything in the last five years. But this situation completely baffled the entire dungeon. This middle-aged guy, seemingly in fine health, booked an appointment with me and my colleague for one hour of some very light play and a golden shower to finish off with. We … Read More »

Worms Turn

I’m a 67-year-old gay man. After a breakup 15 years ago, I believed the possibility of emotional and sexual intimacy with a partner was over for me. Then a couple of months ago, my desire for sexual contact increased dramatically. For the first time, I began using apps, and I felt like the proverbial kid … Read More »

Worms Turn

I’m a 67-year-old gay man. After a breakup 15 years ago, I believed the possibility of emotional and sexual intimacy with a partner was over for me. Then a couple of months ago, my desire for sexual contact increased dramatically. For the first time, I began using apps, and I felt like the proverbial kid … Read More »

Runners

I married my high-school sweetheart at 17, had a baby, together a few years, mental illness and subsequent infidelity led to things ending. My ex-husband remarried, divorced again, and is now in another LTR. I’m in a LTR for a decade with my current partner (CP), we have a few kids, and I’m so in … Read More »

Runners

I married my high-school sweetheart at 17, had a baby, together a few years, mental illness and subsequent infidelity led to things ending. My ex-husband remarried, divorced again, and is now in another LTR. I’m in a LTR for a decade with my current partner (CP), we have a few kids, and I’m so in … Read More »