The weekly sex advice column that started it all

“Savage Love” is America’s longest running sex advice column. A new column is posted every Tuesday. Become a Magnum Sub for access to the full column and the Response Roundup posted every Friday!

Savage Love Archives for 2023


My fiancé has a foot fetish, and he hates it. Can you tell him it’s harmless and immutable? Harmless! Immutable! Also, we’re living in the golden age of foot-fetishist representation—from the conniving, murderous, unctuous Ser Larys Strong on HBO’s House of the Dragon (prestige television!) to the sweet, goofy, traumatized Jimmy on TLC’s MILF Manor (trash … Read More »

Case Disclosed

I’m a bisexual woman living in a major city. My boyfriend of about a year is HIV-positive. He’s been undetectable for more than a decade, but I’m on PrEP, just to be double-back-flip safe. I trust science and I’m comfortable with this, in part thanks to your clear and honest conversations around HIV. We have … Read More »

Ask Me Anything!

That’s a wrap! Thank you to everyone who joined! All of your Q’s and Dan’s A’s are below. Have feedback on how we can improve future AMAs? Send us a note at info@savage.love! — TSARY Why have you never mentioned menopause even once? I’ve been an avid magnum listener for many years and was completely … Read More »


I’m a gay man and I’ve recently started seeing a guy in an open relationship. He’s intelligent, funny, and sexy. He told me early on that his partner is a Dom top, into kink (leather, latex, etc.), that his partner has caged boys, and so on. Moreover, with his partner he’s a “bratty sub,” meaning … Read More »

Struggle Session: Divorce Is an Option, Chatbots Are a Puzzle, Asses Are for Feasting

I’m thinking about retiring “Reader Roundup,” which sounds a little sinister (cops roundup suspects, cowboys roundup cattle), and going with “Struggle Session” instead. What do you guys think? After reading my advice for Close To Doing This in this week’s Savage Love (or was it ChatGPT’s advice?!?)—CTDT is a married man whose wife won’t fuck him, … Read More »

The Undanny Valley

Dear Readers: A lot of professional writers are freaking out about ChatGPT. ChatGPT is an artificial intelligence chatbot created by the OpenAI foundation that can generate essays, novels, screenplays—any kind of writing—faster than living/breathing/typing/revising human beings ever could. What’s more, enter the name of any writer, living or dead, and within seconds ChatGPT can spit … Read More »

Reader Roundup: A Bad Answer, a Legit Answer, a Hot Porn Star, and More…

It was a short question in quickies column (“Best lube for PIV?”) and an even shorter response (“Foreplay”). It was also an unhelpful and inadequate response… Dan, I love your column—but I’m canceling you over your glib response to “Best Lube for PIV?” Foreplay? Seriously? Even if you’re joking, it’s not funny. I could have … Read More »


Very long story short, I’m a woman in the process of getting out of a long and abusive marriage. I’m getting therapy. One factor of that abuse: I’m still a virgin, at least as far as penetration is concerned. (That’s another long story.) If I can even find anybody interested in me, how do I … Read More »