I am a 29-year-old single
straight man. Over the past year, I have become very close friends with
a gay man close to my age. We have a blast hanging out, and I value our
friendship. Four months ago, he told me that he had developed romantic
feelings for me and said he needed a little space to save our
friendship. For a couple of months, we saw each other only with mutual
friends. Then we started hanging out again. It’s been great, and he
seems very comfortable with me again. The thing is, I am now
experiencing a sexual attraction to him. I have never been with a man
and I am very attracted to women, but it doesn’t bother me that I
suddenly feel this way.
I have been thinking about asking him if he
wants to have a sexual experience with me. I think he would go for it.
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...class="savage_question">I have been thinking about asking him if he
wants to have a sexual experience with me. I think he would go for it.
A long-term romantic relationship with him does not interest me, but I
do love him as a friend and don’t want to risk losing that. Is it
possible this could be just a one-time thing that brings us closer as
friends, or is it more likely to ruin our friendship? He is the only
guy I have ever been attracted to, and I want to have this
Straight Except For One Guy
While you’re open to having a gay experience
with your friend, SEFOG, he would probably prefer to have a gay
relationship with someone. The fact that he can’t “have
you”—i.e., you’re never gonna gay marry him—may make him
reluctant to fuck your ass. Having sex with you could obviously
reignite feelings he made an effort to squash to “save the
friendship”—duh—and he may dread the feelings of jealousy
and inadequacy that could swamp him when the inevitable happens and you
wind up in a LTR with a woman.
All that said, SEFOG, I’m going to share a
little secret with you about gay men: We’re men, real men, just like
straight men. We’re good at having sex without getting emotionally
attached—some of us are a little too good at it—and a
single gay man, like a single straight man, rarely passes up a chance
to get with someone he’s attracted to, even if he wants more than that
person can give. About the only thing that gay men are better at than
straight men—besides deep-throating—is maintaining
friendships with exes, one-night stands, friends-with-benefits, fuck
buddies, et al.
Lob your balls into your friend’s court,
SEFOG, and see what he says. You were able to remain friends after he
confessed his attraction to you, so I don’t see why you won’t be able
to remain friends after you confess your attraction to him.
I’m a woman with an extremely
gorgeous, brilliant, openly (mostly) gay friend whom I’ve been having
sex with infrequently but regularly over the last six months. I know
why I’m doing it: I enjoy his company, he’s hot, the sex is incredible.
But I’m not sure why he’s having sex with me, a straight girl. The most
I could get out of him is that he thinks I have a “masculine
sexuality.” I’d like to have a clearer understanding of where our
friendship/sexual relationship stands. I am a person who likes to talk
about everything, and he is not.
Confused Over Male Eroticism
I would hazard a guess that your (mostly)
gay friend is doing this—doing you—for the same reasons
you’re doing him: He enjoys your company, you’re hot, and the sex is
great. As for where you stand, COME, well, that depends on what you
want. Do you want hot sex with a hot guy every once in a while? Then
you’re in good standing. Do you want a relationship? Then you’re
deluding yourself. Very few gay-identified men are secretly closeted
straight guys, COME. When a bisexual guy identifies as gay, it’s
typically because he’s not romantically attracted to women. He can fuck
women, but he doesn’t fall in love with women. Most bisexual guys are
the opposite of your (mostly) gay friend, i.e., they can fuck men but
they don’t fall in love with men, which is why most bi guys identify as
I wanted to satisfy my curiosity of
getting a blowjob from a guy. I found one online willing to do the
deed, and we met and he started. After about 15 seconds, I stopped him.
It was not for me and did not feel right. Now, in reality, what are my
chances of getting a disease? Low? Medium? High? He did not use a
condom. I know you are going to say to get tested, which I probably
will. But in your opinion, are my chances so great that I should run to
the clinic? Would it matter the time length of the BJ? Say, if it were
10 to 15 minutes instead of seconds? Thanks for your time.
Sent From My iPhone
My apologies to Jerry Herman: It only takes
a moment to contract a sexually transmitted infection you could have
your whole life long, SFMi. If the guy who blew you—however brief
the blowjob was—had syphilis or chlamydia or herpes or all three,
you could’ve contracted any or all of them. You can’t contract an STI
from a guy who doesn’t have any STIs, of course, but what do you think
the chances are that a guy who blows strangers he meets online has an
STI? Low? Medium? High?
Go get tested, SFMi.
I’m a 23-year-old lesbian who’s been
in a relationship with a bisexual woman. She’s always had a fantasy
about guy-girl-girl three-ways, so about five or so months ago, we
decided to invite her best friend, “Roger,” into bed with us. We’ve
both been pretty happy with the arrangement. At the start, I refused to
have sex with him. But about two months ago, I decided I wanted to try
it, never having had sex with a guy myself. I couldn’t get into it, so
we stopped after two minutes. Since then, I’ve missed two periods and
done four home pregnancy tests—all positive.
How the hell am I going to break the news to
my girlfriend? We used condoms! I’d like to keep the baby and raise it
with my girlfriend, but we have been living with each other for only a
year. And how do I break it to Roger, if at all?
Gay Baby Mama Drama
How do you break the news to your
girlfriend? The same way you break it to Roger: without further delay.
Keeping the baby is your decision and your choice, GBMD, but it’s a
decision you have to make in consultation with your girlfriend if
you’re counting on her to raise this baby with you. And as your
ultimate choice will have enormous potential consequences for Roger,
both emotional and financial, he needed to be informed of your
condition three pregnancy tests ago.
Your girlfriend may not be ready for the
kind of commitment that coparenting represents. Roger may be
nontraditional in the whole three-ways-with-hot-lesbians sense but
traditional in the wants-to-be-the-father-of-his-child sense. You need
their input as you make this choice, GBMD. And you have choices in
addition to abortion or keeping the baby. There’s also open adoption.
In an open adoption, you pick the family the child is placed with, and
you and Roger can have ongoing contact with the child after adoption.
You can learn more about open adoption at www.openadopt.org.