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Mask 4 Mask

by Joe Newton

I’m a cis gay man in Canada. Other than my supportive enby partner of five years and a few close friends, most people in my life don’t know that I’m a fetish content creator. My stuff delves into the foot porn/macrophilia (love of giants) space. I don’t make enough to live off, but it’s a good side hustle; I earn enough to help with bills and groceries. Plus, creating this content has resulted in meeting people with the same paraphilias and fantasies. Being a kink content creator has many more pros than cons and it allows me to share my sexual interests with willing and understanding people — which is a great thing, as my combination of fetishes is pretty rare. I do all of this faceless. Save for the handful of times I’ve posted a glimpse of my face on my OnlyFans account, I’ve never shown...

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...s. Save for the handful of times I’ve posted a glimpse of my face on my OnlyFans account, I’ve never shown my face on public platforms. I am self-employed, so I don’t have to worry about my boss finding out and firing me, since I am my own boss. But the “internet is forever” and I fear repercussions if I change careers in the future. How best to navigate this? Fearful About Coming Employment Situation “The internet is forever,” said Aaron, a 30-year-old gay man and BDSM content creator. “I see news articles every week about people losing jobs after someone sent their OnlyFans account to their employer.” Which is why Aaron and his fiancé John, a 25-year-old gay man who shares his love of bondage, both wear masks in the videos they share on their JustForFans account. “Until we live in a world where no one is shamed for their sexual interests and what they choose to do in their free time,” said Aaron, “showing our faces is not worth the risk to our careers or our relationships with friends and family.” The couple had been posting short bondage clips on Twitter before the pandemic hit and then — like a lot of people stuck at home during lockdowns — they decided to get on OnlyFans. “At the time we figured, ‘Why not?’” said Aaron. “People seemed to like the stuff we enjoyed posting for free and now anyone who wanted to see more of us could subscribe — and could make some money doing what we love.” Aaron and John agreed to stop if posting their content began to overwhelm their sex life. “But four years later, we’re still sharing our kinky faceless content and it has not only broadened our exploration in the world of kink, but — just like FACES — sharing our fetish content has led to many wonderful IRL connections.” Some fans have begged Aaron and John to show their faces — a few have offered to pay them more if they remove their masks — but their reasons for remaining anonymous are sound, FACES, and may resonate with you. “The extra money is a huge perk — we earn between two and three thousand dollars per month — but it’s not consistent money,” said Aaron. “For example, our original Only fans account was pretty short lived. The company’s stance on porn changed one day, and suddenly all our content was banned for being ‘extreme,’ and that money disappeared. We’ve also been suspended from Twitter after posts got reported as ‘violence’ by people who don’t understand consensual BDSM. So, unless FACES has some other means of support besides his foot porn and macrophilia content, putting his face out there for the sake of a little extra cash that may or may not be there next month isn’t worth it.” For the record, not all of Aaron and John’s fans hate their masks. “We each wear a particular mask while filming,” said Aaron, “and to our surprise, some of our subscribers have started to fetishize the masks we wear. Now we’ve got people asking where they can buy masks and hoods like the ones we wear in our videos!” Normally I share the socials and/or links to my guest experts’ websites here. But Aaron and John wanted to remain masked in the column. I’m a 45-year-old gay man in a monogamous relationship. It’s the best relationship of my life. My partner and I have decided to become fluid bonded. (A term you probably haven’t heard in years!) However, he has a condition called hypospadias, and I’m wondering whether it is something we need to factor into our decision to have condom-free sex. He has an extra hole near the head of his cock. It’s like he removed an enormous Prince Albert, and the second hole remained open. It’s weirdly hot. But this second hole is very wide and uncovered by foreskin when he’s hard. So, I’m worried if he fucks me without a condom, he could be at heightened risk of infection. Or worse, could he get santorum in there? Hoping Our Love Endures Your boyfriend’s condition — let’s not call it a disorder — puts him at greater risk of urinary tract and bladder infections, which occur when harmful bacteria manage to creep up someone’s urethra. Cis women, due to their shorter urethras, get UTIs and bladder infections more often than cis men. So, with your partner’s weirdly hot bonus hole effectively shortening his urethra, he should take the advice given to cis women to prevent UTI/bladder infections: piss immediately after sex — well, not immediately after (he might wanna withdraw first (or he might not)) — and maybe take a quick shower or an even quicker whore’s bath just to be on the safe side. As for santorum, i.e., “the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex,” douche before your boyfriend fucks your hole, HOLE, and you won’t get a visit from the disgraced (and disgraceful) senator. I’m writing because I feel lonely and wrong. Short story: I’m a thirty-something Italian lesbian and I’ve broken up with my lover of nine years because there have been too many dicks involved — including the dick of a good friend (ouch!) — and while I’ve tried to let her be free to do whatever she wanted because I deeply love her and I want her to be happy, I’ve realized that it’s too much for me. Polyamory isn’t really an option for me. We have a deep and strong relationship, with a lot of love and sex, and we constantly helped each other and our views about life are very similar. I don’t want to lose all of this, but I can’t see a solution. She needs to go in a direction I can’t go. So, I have decided to set her free, but I’m suffering so badly. One thing — one of the many things — that I can’t get out of my mind is being told by my ex that only liking girls was an “illness” and that I was missing out on half of humanity. But I can’t help liking women. Am I so wrong? After all of this, I feel totally empty and not right at all, badly alone. My self-esteem is so low right now and I worry about being sad and lonely for the rest of my life because I am not open to polyamory and have no interest in the other half of humanity. I know who I am and what I like but everything seems really confused and confusing. Utterly Gutted Homosexual Ends Relationship Suddenly It’s normal to feel sad and lonely after breaking up — I would be worried if you didn’t feel sad and lonely right now — but you shouldn’t feel bad about your sexual orientation. If you have the bandwidth to feel anything in addition to sad and lonely right now, UGHERS, you should feel angry at your ex-girlfriend for putting that in your head. Not wanting to fuck all of humanity does not mean missing out on half. I’m sure there are men in your life you like and one or two you love. You love your dad, UGHERS, maybe you have brother or two you love, along with male friends, neighbors, and coworkers you like very much. While I’m exclusively attracted to males, I loved my mom and I love my sister and I have female friends, neighbors, and coworkers who are I like very much. Nothing about being romantically and sexually attracted to one sex exclusively — in your case or in mine — means we’re missing out on half of humanity. So, get mad. It was manipulative, disrespectful, and unkind of your ex-girlfriend to blame the conflict that doomed your relationship on your hard-wired aversion/indifference to dick and your equally hard-wired enthusiasm for/love of pussy. And even if her strategy had worked — even if it was possible to shame you into liking dick — it’s not like things would’ve worked out if you woke up one day loving dick as much as she does: you wanted monogamy, she wanted the freedom to fuck anyone she wanted — including mutual friends — without having to take your feelings into consideration. Even if you were sexually compatible, which you weren’t, you were romantically incompatible. You had a good run, you had some good times, you tried to make it work, you couldn’t make it work, and you finally called it. Basically, UGHERS, you reached that tipping point where staying with someone causes more pain than moving forward without them. But unlike the slowly accumulating pain of staying, the pain of moving forward without someone — the pain of dumping someone you wanted to be with — comes crashing down on you all at once. But trust me: that pain becomes more bearable with each passing day, each late-night phone call to a friend, and each letter you send to an advice columnist. In a year or two you may be able to reconnect with your ex and enjoy the kind of loving friendship so many lesbians have with their exes — just one lesbian superpower — but you need time away from her for now. And don’t make the rookie heartbreak mistake of waiting until you feel like you’re completely over your ex before you start dating again. When you feel like you’re almost ready, UGHERS, you’re ready. P.S. For the record: Most men have dicks, most dicks have men — but not all men have dicks, not all dicks have men; most lesbians aren’t into dick, some lesbians like it fine; most gay men are into dick, not all gay men require it; bisexuals exist and they’re valid; homosexuals exist and they’re valid; straight people exist and don’t require validation, etc., etc., etc. Got problems? Email your question to Dan here! Or record your question for the Lovecast here! Follow Dan on Instagram and Threads @DanSavage. Follow Dan on BlueSky @DanSavage. HUMP! Part One is playing in cities across North America and Europe! Go to HUMP! Film Fest to check out the new films and get your HUMP! 2024 tickets now!  

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