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Insta-Apocalypse with JoEllen Notte.

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Ah, the pleasures of getting rimmed! But what if you are alone, during quarantine times? Is there a sex toy out there to help a lass get off? Starting in kindergarten, a woman began masturbating using a very specific and very odd technique. Now she needs to do this, and she’s super-embarrassed about it. How … Read More »

Is polyamory still cancelled?

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Some rando started following a woman on Insta. He confessed that he jerks off to her yoga photos. She told him she would have to charge him a fee for this. He agreed. The question is… how much? A woman Googled her dad. What did she find? She found videos of women in bathing suits. … Read More »

Ask a Mortician!

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A woman was babysitting her neighbor’s 3 year-old daughter. The girl took her clothes off and started touching herself. Should the caller say something to the parents? Is this behavior a red flag for abuse? Or is this just how the 3 year-olds roll? A man with a very girthy penis can’t come without extended … Read More »

It’s not easy being poly…

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A married man is sick of his military husband being overseas all the time. How can they make their chronically long-distance relationship work? Ok, here’s something you’ve all wondered: how do you get rid of sex dolls? Are they too toxic for the landfill? Is there a market for “gently used?” On the Magnum, how … Read More »

The Epidemiologist and the Avenger.

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Hear the tale of the Garden Wanker, or “What Really Happens in the Asparagus Patch.” Dr. Bummer is back! Our epidemiologist pal Dr. Daniel Westreich has returned to talk about the state of the pandemic, how the physical distancing is working, and to mull over the possibility that this could be an opportunity to eliminate … Read More »

With America’s Sweetheart, Erin Gibson!

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We open with a quarantine sex story, in which a woman’s boyfriend pulls on one of her dresses, and things get even better from there. A woman in a poly relationship knows she has to end things soon with her primary partner. So, naturally, she started sleeping with her roommate. Is it time to pull … Read More »

Spanking is for grownups. With Jillian Keenan.

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A young man has been dating a woman for a short time. She seems great…except. Except she is anti-abortion, and anti-gay in a lazy, not very heartfelt sort of way. Can he use his sex powers to change her feeble mind? Meanwhile, a woman is dating a guy also for a short time. He told … Read More »

John Moe’s Hilarious World of Depression.

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Hand-wringing women, am I right? First we have a lady who feels guilty about masturbating at night when her partner is snoring next to her. And another woman feels guilty about “objectifying” her new cross-dressing boyfriend. Is it wrong to be attracted to him in his female garb? On the Magnum version of the show, … Read More »

Second Opinion! With “Dear Therapist.”

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A woman keeps getting told to go home after she hooks up in the middle of the night. Don’t any of these gentleman know how to make breakfast? A woman has learned that her beloved aunt has been having a lesbian affair for decades. Some but not all of her family knows. Should the caller … Read More »

People are…good? With Nicholas A. Christakis.

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A kinky woman enjoys having slaves. But the guy she really likes is vanilla. It didn’t work out. This is sad. Does being kinky mean you can’t have vanilla love too? A school teacher and her boyfriend want to go to a sex club. But she’s worried about running into parents of her students, or … Read More »