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Apple’s iPhone Surveillance Explained.

A man’s randy co-worker has slept with the wives of other workers and tons of women on the job. He nearly got fired for it, but he’s back. Should the caller confront this man and tell him to knock it off? Warn all the females on staff? If someone you were chatting with from an … Read More »

Psychedelics for the Win!

Boundaries are hard! For instance, a married couple of 12 years decided to open the relationship. So naturally, she started sleeping with her husbands brother in their own house. Of course. And! If you knocked on the door, and your kid confessed that they were masturbating, would you A) Mutter, “Sorry!” and walk away. B) … Read More »

Wife Sharing! With Michael Cee of the Keys and Anklets Podcast.

When your wife is buddies with the MAGA crowd: Dan counsels a man whose wife hangs out with covid-denying, conspiracy theory-believing, Trump-loving simpletons. He is pretty conservative himself, but these people! It’s too much! A middle-aged man is newly grappling with his bisexuality. The wife isn’t into it. How can he find other guys like … Read More »

Mistress Velvet COMMANDS you…

Our opening covid-19 “sexcess” story is extra special this week. You will never think of Tollhouse cookies the same way again. Don’t you hate it when your brother-in-law steals your underpants, and uses them to jack off? This little sordid story only gets worse. On the Magnum, meet the dominatrix who forces her clients to … Read More »

What about the gay penguins?

Sometimes people call us when they’re drunk. Sometimes they call us about their dogs. Welcome to the center of this Venn diagram. A woman has been invited to a “costume wedding.” She will be required to dress up like a character in a movie. Is this asking too much? On the Magnum version of the … Read More »

With former white supremacist Christian Picciolini.

A 76 year-old woman wonders if everyone is doing polyamory these days, or if there are any monogamous couples left. A woman’s twin brother has become a white supremacist, and is getting sucked in to a very scary community. Dan brings on Christian Picciolini, who himself was recruited and eventually left the white power movement. … Read More »

Weed = Better Orgasms for Women. Yay Science!

Look at her. She’s only a lesbian when she’s drunk! Why does she dream of a white picket fence with her loving wife by her side but only when she’s had 5 whisky sours? A woman is planning to marry prince charming. He is so wonderful in every way. Except…when he wants sex he grabs … Read More »

Welcome to the Real Doll Brothel.

A woman had sex with a pre-op transwoman. But she didn’t make the caller come, or even try. Now the caller wonders if this is a “vagina-bodied” vs “non vagina-bodied” problem, or just a “jerk” problem. A married gay man with kids begs Dan for a quick n’ dirty guide on how to add a … Read More »

Is it racist to be a rice queen?

A white man is dating an Asian man and tends to be attracted to Asian men. Does this make him a rice queen? Is it racist to be a rice queen? Can he learn to feel attraction toward other races? A straight man has a great girlfriend except for one little problem. She gives painful … Read More »

F*ck Yes!

A straight man knows he has the dreaded Madonna/Whore Complex. But how can he overcome it? A 47 year-old woman has just started working at a sex toy store, and loves her funky, kinky co-workers. But she’s scared to invite them to her wedding for fear that mommy and daddy won’t approve. On the Magnum, … Read More »