I love my boyfriend of three
years, but I fucked up. We’ve had our ups and downs—he broke up
with me for two months last summer because he said he was “young and
needs to feel free”—but we’ve always worked through things. He is
super supportive of me, and we’ve both really grown a lot as people
together. But despite the affection and love, I just don’t feel wanted.
I don’t feel like he wants to fuck my brains out like he used to. In
fact, he rarely does, even when I try to initiate sex. Over the last
six months, I’ve struggled with depression and not feeling sexy, and
not feeling wanted is making both things worse. Last year, we talked
about opening up our relationship, but I wasn’t really comfortable with
it.
Long story short, I went to visit a friend
in another city who lives practically next...
...ur relationship, but I wasn’t really comfortable with
it.
Long story short, I went to visit a friend
in another city who lives practically next door to a former fling of
mine from four years ago, and I ended up fooling around with the former
fling. It wasn’t full sex, but it was highly inappropriate. And yet…
it felt so good to be wanted so badly.
I feel like a terrible person for so many
reasons. I told my boyfriend—he didn’t respond emotionally, and
after 45 minutes he got up and left and said he would call me when he
knew how he felt. I want him to forgive me, but I have a feeling he
can’t. I don’t want to cause him any more pain than I already have, but
I have no idea how to do that. Do I give him space? Do I go on with my
life?
Self-Loathing Unfaithful Tramp
Go on with your life, SLUT. Suicide seems a
little drastic, given the circumstances, so let’s not open a vein over
this.
It seems to me that the boyfriend was
causing you a great deal of pain before you caused him pain. He has
essentially rejected you again and again—the time he broke things
off so he could “feel free” (what are you, a cage?), and the many times
he’s rejected you sexually and made you feel unwanted. Your sexual and
emotional needs were not being met, and you succumbed to the attentions
of a man who made you feel wanted. And that was unfortunate, SLUT, but
it wasn’t entirely your fault. If the boyfriend wasn’t sending you the
mother of all mixed signals—doesn’t want to leave you, doesn’t
want to fuck you—you would have been either single and free to
fool around on that trip or not at all interested in fooling around
because you were getting what you needed at home.
So feel a little bad about what you
did—you were technically involved with someone else when you
messed around with that former fling—but don’t feel too
bad. This relationship needed to end; it wasn’t making either of you
happy. Think of it this way: You slammed your car into a brick wall and
totaled the thing. But it was a lemon, SLUT, and now you’re free to get
yourself a new ride.
I have been considering
becoming a woman. But the straight women I have talked to about this
are very reluctant to assist me in my transition from being male to
being female. I am wondering if you think that lesbians might be more
open-minded in assisting me in my transition.
Gender Identity Readjustment Looming
You’re considering becoming a
woman—that’s wonderful, GIRL, very interesting, very compelling
stuff, always a special time in a man’s life. But it’s not like you’re
rushing a sorority; current members—the straight women you’ve
approached, the lesbians you’re thinking about approaching—are
not obligated to answer your questions, offer you assistance, host a
tea, or take even the slightest interest in your transition. Find a
support group for MTFs, GIRL, and you’ll find plenty of
women—longtime members and new pledges—interested in
hearing about your journey. But leave the women you meet in the normal
course of your life—straight women and lesbians who are not your
friends—alone.
There have to be people out
there, walking among us, who enjoy having sex with those stretched
earlobe holes, right? The first cook to be kicked off the new season of
Top Chef had her lobes stretched around what looked like rims from P.
Diddy’s ride. I’m writing for confirmation that this “community”
exists.
Happy With Seven Holes
As a general rule, HWSH, if it can be
fucked, someone out there somewhere is fucking it, has fucked it, is
about to fuck it, and has already posted videos of them fucking it on
XTube. Not every hole gets a “community,” HWSH, but every hole gets its
fair share.
My hubby wants to do anal for
my first time, him fucking me, and that’s fine—but I’m only going
to let him do it after he eats his own goo! Standoff! We’ve been
married 17 years, and I think it would be hot! He thinks not! I say
fair trade! I go down on him after he puts it in me sometimes, so I
know how I taste! Am I the only woman who has ever asked her husband to
eat his goo?!?
He is willing, finally, because he really,
really wants to get into my ass. But was it wrong for me to ask? Am I a
freak?!? I’ve asked around, and all my girls think I’m crazy and that
it’s a bad sign about our relationship! But we’ve got two great kids
and we love each other and we have a really happy life! I just want to
see my hubby eat his goo! My girls tell me I must be trying to make him
gay! Nope! I just figured if he gets something he wants, I get
something I want! Am I a freak?!? Please help!!! Tell me I am not a
freak! Tell me others write about this!
You are respected in our household, and my
husband will hear your answer because I intend to read it to him!!!
Great Oozing Orgasms
You’re a freak, GOO—not that there’s
anything wrong with that, of course. As for the particulars…
You made granting your consent to fulfill
his fantasy contingent upon his consenting to fulfill yours. That was
manipulative and unfair of you, GOO, but it was also pretty freaking
hot, just the kind of good-natured, give-and-take-no-
prisoners
power play that keeps the sex interesting after 17 years of marriage.
And I don’t just say that as a fan of goo-eating generally—you
might have gotten a “yes” quicker if you didn’t insist on calling it
“goo”—but as a fan of sexual adventures and pushing
boundaries.
You set a bar for the husband to clear, GOO,
but you didn’t set it too high or impossibly high. You weren’t asking
him to let you fuck his ass first, fair but more challenging, or to
swallow some other dude’s load, unfair and extremely challenging. You
didn’t ask him to do something he absolutely, positively couldn’t do,
and you didn’t ask him to do something you haven’t done yourself
(swallow his loads, taste your own juices).
Finally, there’s nothing gay about a guy
eating his own come—unless, of course, he’s eating it off some
other guy.
mail@savagelove.net