As a 43-year-old single gay
guy, I recently had my first spanking experience and am feeling extreme
self-loathing. I was in a long-term vanilla relationship for most of my
adult life and never got to experience anything kinky, but I’ve had an
interest in it.
Long story short, I answered an online ad,
went to this guy’s house, and let him paddle me. I quickly blew and
quickly left. There was no sex other than me jerking myself while
getting hit. Now I feel awful. It’s not the spanking itself, but rather
the anonymous nature of what I did. This type of hookup is not my
thing, as I am used to sex in the context of a loving, committed
relationship. I feel like I’ve let myself down, like I dropped my
standards, and I fear sliding down a slippery slope into a life of
anonymous, kinky encounters. I’ve never...
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...I’ve let myself down, like I dropped my
standards, and I fear sliding down a slippery slope into a life of
anonymous, kinky encounters. I’ve never wanted to be one of “those
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and I feel like
puking. I can’t talk to any of my friends about this—I’m too
embarrassed. Please put my mind at ease. Please tell me if getting
spanked with a hand and paddles is risky for sexually transmitted
infections. Also, what can I do to deal with this guilt? I swear I’m
not exaggerating here, and I really do need someone to talk to about
Shouldn’t Want Anonymous Thrashings
There’s no way you contracted a sexually
transmitted infection during that spanking session, SWAT, so calm the
fuck down, okay?
You lived a little, SWAT, you had a sexual
adventure, you took a very short walk on the mild side of the wild
side. And you learned something important about yourself in the
process: Just having your kink indulged isn’t enough. You need
your kink indulged in the context of a loving, committed relationship.
You want to be spanked by someone you love and who loves you. That’s
just how you’re wired. And luckily for you, there are lots of good,
decent, quality guys out there who are into spanking and
interested in loving, committed relationships.
Don’t believe me?
You’re one of those guys, SWAT. You
are living proof that a guy can be relationship material and also be
into spanking. Put yourself out there, put your kink out there, and
you’ll meet other guys just like you.
I want a human pet. The human
pet must become a dog. My pet will wear a butt-plug tail, a collar, and
paw mitts. My pet will not speak anything other than its assigned safe
word. Its communications will be limited to barking, licking, wagging
its tail. The whole point is that, when done, there is a dog shaped
like a human, but the shape is the only thing that isn’t dog about my
pet. The pet becomes so completely a dog that I wonder if it is
bestiality to have sex with my dog/human pet.
Future Dog Lover
“Can vegans swallow?” used to be both the
most annoying and frequently asked question in the sex-advice business.
Now it’s just the most frequently asked.
Some people consider their pets to be
“members of the family,” but there’s nothing incestuous about fucking
your dog. There’s something sick and wrong about it, of course, but
it’s not incest. Similarly, a human pretending to be a dog is still a
human, FDL, so having sex with your dog/human pet isn’t bestiality and
never will be. I hope that doesn’t ruin it for you.
I’m a 19-year-old bisexual
female, and my current girlfriend and I have been together about three
months. She is pressuring me to come out to my family. I still live at
home with my VERY Catholic parents, and I’m not in a good enough
financial position to move out. If I were to come out to them, I
wouldn’t want to be depending on them for a dwelling, school payments,
auto insurance, etc. My girlfriend and I get along great, we are having
a lot of fun together, and I wouldn’t want to lose her. But she says
that she can’t be with me if I am ashamed of our relationship. I just
don’t know what to do. Am I being a total cunt for hiding our
relationship? Or is she the total cunt?
Comfortable Living In
She’s the cunt, CLITS, totally.
The reasons you’ve given her for not coming
out to your family right this minute—fear of being retaliated
against financially, fear of losing your home, fear of derailing your
education—are not only legit, CLITS, they’re the only legit
reasons to postpone coming out to your family. Unless your girlfriend
can feed you, clothe you, house you, and cover your tuition, she
shouldn’t be pressuring you to risk your future for the sake of a
Finally, CLITS, it seems to me that the last
thing a young lady with a pair of controlling assholes for parents
needs is a controlling asshole for a girlfriend. Just sayin’.
Does asexuality actually
exist? My partner’s younger brother claims to be asexual, but I think
he’s just a maladjusted little shit and that he’s intimidated by the
thought of sex. Your thoughts?
Asexuality must exist, TSIL, seeing as it
has its own website—www.asexuality.org—where you can
“Asexual people have the same emotional
needs as anyone else, and like [those] in the sexual community we vary
widely in how we fulfill those needs. Some asexual people are happier
on their own, others are happiest with a group of close friends. Other
asexual people have a desire to form more intimate romantic
relationships, and will date and seek long-term partnerships. Asexual
people are just as likely to date sexual people as we are to date each
I’ll probably be accused of asexophobia for
suggesting that asexuals who date “sexual people” are obligated to
disclose their asexuality, preferably on the first date and certainly
no later than the third date. Asexuals may have the same emotional
needs as anyone else, but most of us sexuals—heterosexuals,
homosexuals, bisexuals—expect to have our emotional and sexual
needs met in our “intimate romantic relationships,” thanks, and we’re
going to want to know if that’s not in the cards before we get
involved, not after. Someone who is incapable of meeting a sexual’s
needs has no business dating a sexual in the first place, if you ask
me. At the very least, asexuality must be disclosed. And I’m still
trying to wrap my head around this:
“Figuring out how to flirt, to be intimate,
or to be monogamous in nonsexual relationships can be
Um… since monogamy is understood to mean
sexual exclusivity—you don’t fuck other people—I’m not sure
how you define monogamy in a sexless relationship. Does your asexual
partner promise not to not fuck other people?
As for your brother-in-law, TSIL, I don’t
see what his asexuality and/or hang-ups have to do with you. If you’re
prying into your BIL’s sex life, TSIL, I’d say he’s not the only
maladjusted little shit in the family.