Dear Readers: One more from the deep archives! This column is from August 1997, back in the “Hey, Faggot” days, and features the birth of one of my readers’ favorite Savage Love-isms: “How’d That Happen?!” I’ll have a new column for you next week!
HEY, FAGGOT: My girlfriend and I only see each other on weekends. To overcome the overwhelming desire to jerk off during the week, I have discovered that I get great pleasure urinating on myself. I don’t know how this happened — one morning I just did it.
About an hour after drinking a lot of water, I lay down in the bathtub. When I can’t hold it anymore, I direct a clear stream of urine all over my body. Then I pull my briefs back up and soak them. I keep my eyes closed — but do I need to worry about any long-term effects on my hair...