Savage Love Archives for 2026

Struggle Session is a bonus column where I respond to comments — just a few — from readers and listeners. I also share a letter that won’t be included in the column and invite my readers to give some advice. There were lots of moving comments about my response to PBO in this week’s Savage … Read More »

I’m a gay man in my fifties, comfortable in my skin, but I suffered severe bullying throughout school, which was often abetted by teachers. A recent class reunion prompted me to write a tell-all letter to the current school director regarding that trauma. His gracious response was incredibly healing. My family has accepted me since I came … Read More »

I don’t know what to call this thing — no one likes “AQFARTIFROLOTIGTMIITC,” everyone likes “Masterdebater” but me, a lot of people liked “Gang Bang” but a few people really didn’t, “Group Grope” seems just as problematic as “Gang Bang,” etc. — but here it is! Here’s this week’s question from a reader this isn’t … Read More »

I am a 45-year-old femme-presenting genderqueer AFAB person. When I have romantic relationships with cis het men, I’ve noticed two general types: They either enjoy sex and prioritize pleasure and making things fun for their partners and themselves, but make no special big deal about it, and we usually have frequent enough sex and that’s … Read More »

No Struggle Session today again — just got home from a trip with the outlaws (my husband’s boyfriend’s extended family) — and somehow managed to pick up an awful cold on our way home. Everyone else is fine, but I’m green and quarantined for the time being. While I’m glad no one else is sick, … Read More »