Lest I be accused of waging a War on Christmas by the pro-Christmas lobby—oh, whatever would I do if the all-powerful puckerbutts at the American Family Association called for a boycott of Savage Love?—I’m presenting a heartwarming selection of how-I-lost-my-virginity horror stories submitted by my readers.
What do these stories have to do with Christmas? Well, wasn’t Jesus Christ responsible for the most traumatic how-I-lost-my-virginity horror story ever told? Not His deflowering, I mean His mother’s. As everyone knows, Mary was a virgin when she conceived and a virgin when she gave birth. This means, of course, that Jesus busted His own mom’s hymen, kicking it down like a door on His way into the world. And you thought your first time was traumatic!
I was an 18-year-old virgin with visions of Hollywood movie sex—perfect lighting and angles, climax together, etc....