Car Talk

Yesterday, I found my 5-year-old son putting things up his butt in the bath. This isn’t the first time—and it’s not just a “Hey! There’s a hole here! Let’s put things in there!” kind of thing. The little dude was rocking quite the stiffy while he did it. I’m well aware of how sexual kids can be (I freaking was!), although I wasn’t quite expecting to be catching him exploring anal at this young age. I want to avoid a trip to the emergency room to extract a toy car or whatever else from his rear end, and I don’t want to see him damage himself. So do you have any suggestions of what I can give him as a butt toy? Yes, I am serious, and no, I’m not molesting him. I know he’s going to do this on his own with or without my knowing, and I want him to be safe! Just today,...