Reader Roundup

...urt anyone if he wants to use those terms during sex? We really don’t need to control each other, folks. Another reaction… YANOPE reminded me of a term that bothered me, but more amused me. My (also gay male) friend and I both got online solicitations from a guy who kept asking, “Do you have a big hairy bush? Can I see your bush?” I had thought “bush” was mostly used for women, and that this was something like the slang YANOPE talks about. But then I looked it up and it does seem common for men’s pubic hair as well. Am I just weird to think that? And a thought from a follower of mine on Instagram: More pertinent perhaps is why do we rate “cunt” as the WORST thing to be called or to call others? Misogyny right there. I mean, as much as I love assholes, I can see why that’s a term of abuse [poop emoji]. But cunt? No! The Australians have a very different relationship to the word cunt. Some commenters didn’t appreciate my advice for LOST in that same column… WesternSatyr: Really? The wife is experiencing mental health issues and you think the best thing would be to tell her “look, I’m horny, go fix yourself and than maybe we can continue (if I haven’t already moved on…)” BiDanFan: I agree that seemed a bit heartless. Re-reading, it seems that Dan is suggesting the wife take the break, but still, he’s advising LOST; asking her to take a break would be tantamount to him requesting a break. (If they’re ENM, he doesn’t need a break to go fuck other people. He should be extra sensitive about that, though, if he chooses to do so at this time.) Okay, maybe my for LOST was lousy. Sometimes my advice is — they can’t all be gems — which is why I tell the LWs to always read the comments. (Sometimes I’m wrong, sometimes you guys are right.) I was worried that Mrs. LOST would feel pressured to have sex is Mr. LOST was standing there in front of her, impatiently waiting for Mrs. LOST to feel sexual again. And it sounded like it may be a while before Mrs. LOST will want to be naked with Mr. LOST, much less be sexual with him. Still, ending things — or suspending things, which was my suggestion — may be too drastic a step, and could be experienced by Mrs. LOST not as a way to relieve her from the pressure of Mr. LOST’s sexual expectations, but as an attempt to blackmail her into meeting them. Also, they’re in an open relationship, so it’s not like Mr. LOST doesn’t have outlets. (Or inlets.) So, thanks to WesternSatyr and BiDanFan for jumping in and demonstrating — once again — why I urge the LWs to also read the comments. I spoke with Alex Hall from the Bottom’s Digest (“the world’s first bottom-friendly food channel”) on the Lovecast last week about what foods bottoms might want to avoid around the holidays. A listener wrote in with a suggestion… Regardless of who everyone is, top or bottom, poly or mono, gay/straight/bi whatever, I implore listeners to stop eating dairy and all animal products. Not only will it improve your sex life, excess animal foods definitively leads to increased cancer risks and other health problems. Having lost a brother at 43 to cancer, I am hyper-aware to the reality of what can happen with a diet of excess animal foods. So please, for the sake of your bottom and life, move to a whole-food plant based diet. From proud cuck to proud Savage Love guest expert… I’m extremely honored, both as a listener and a fan, to be quoted in a column by the great shepherd of kink sex positivity himself @fakedansavage https://t.co/e5fTfHhVEs — CyclicCycle (@CyclicCycle) December 22, 2022 And about the cuck topic… You write too much about cuckold shit. My New Year’s resolution for 2023: I will write less about cuckolds… and more about cuckqueans. I’ve talked a lot at the top of the show about the right attacking “groomer” drag queens in what looks like a coordinated effort to deflect attention away from the people who are actually grooming and raping kids. Spotted this passage in an old book and wanted to share it. It’s sadly truer now than it was when John Rechy wrote it in the 1970s: “To me, the drag queen is one of the main heroes (or heroines) of the gay world. The courage required for her merely to step out on the street in drag is perhaps a thousand times more than the courage that is required for any of the rest of us. She’s almost a sacrificial figure, absorbing the hatred that is leveled on us from other quarters.” — John Rechy And finally… cities build skateparks and pickleball courts even though not everyone rides skateboards or… balls pickles? Anyway, different kinds of people enjoy different kinds of leisure activities. So, why shouldn’t there be municipal dungeons? (And, yes, BDSM can be thought of as a leisure activity.) At last night’s Fort Lauderdale City Commission meeting, “Mistress” spoke during public comment to propose that $250,000 of a $1 million solid waste management contract go “to support doms and subs in Broward County to build a dungeon.” #BecauseFlorida pic.twitter.com/VI2FHVuU7B — Because Miami (@BecauseMiami) December 21, 2022