STRUGGLE SESSION: Kink Content, Assless Chaps, and an Apology — plus Advice-Palooza Continues and Savage Love Live Kicks Off In an Hour!!

...tter I won’t be responding to in the column that my readers and listeners are invited to respond to with your own advice — along with some assless chaps discourse and one of those rare apologies I sometimes make. First up… Screenwriter and past Lovecast guest Emily Blake wrote in to say… Hello! Three years ago-ish, you interviewed me for your podcast. I was crowdfunding a project called “Welcome to Kinkyville” and I’m reasonably certain that interview is what put us over on our Kickstarter. I am eternally grateful to you for that. I admit, this project took SO MUCH LONGER than I ever expected, but it’s done and I’m super proud! So here it is! I literally couldn’t have done it without you! Everything takes so much longer than we expect — home renovations, blowjobs, kink content — but “Welcome to Kinkyville” is so good, Emily, and totally worth the wait! Congrats on finishing the pilot — congrats to your whole team — and I can’t wait to see future installments! The New Yorker‘s Michael Schulman shared this on Twitter today… I love working at The New Yorker because I had an entire conversation with a copy editor today about whether the phrase “assless chaps” is redundant. I definitively weighed in on this perennial debate — assless chaps or just chaps? — a few years ago: Chaps, being assless, emphasize the ass. The expression “assless chaps,” while redundant, emphasizes the essential and definitional asslessness of chaps. So, both are correct but “assless chaps” is better. “Chaps” is prose and “assless chaps” is poetry — and seeing as The New Yorker publishes both prose and poetry, Schulman should be allowed to use (or wear) “assless chaps,” if that’s his preference. (One could argue that chaps are assless until someone puts them on — until someone puts slides their ass into them — at which point they become assed chaps. But “assed chaps” doesn’t have the lyrical musicality that “assless chaps” does, so I will not allow it.) Jamal had something to say about something I said in the intro to this week’s Lovecast… Lindsey Graham is from the state of South Carolina as am I. It isn’t a shithole state, It has some shitty politicians. Don’t be an asshole. That was a shitty thing for me to say. My apologies to Jamal and my listeners in South Carolina — actually, my apologies to everyone in South Carolina, listeners or not. While Trump and Graham both won South Carolina in 2020, hundreds of thousands of people voted against Trump (who didn’t win the White House) and against Graham (who sadly held on to his seat in the US Senate). And while not all people who vote Republican are assholes — a position that’s frankly getting harder to defend — and not all people who vote Democratic aren’t assholes, it’s unfair to judge an entire state based on who managed to win an election. I will try to do better, Jamal, thanks for the DM. Okay, in keeping with our Summer Advice-Palooza theme (which we might decide to keep even after the summer is over), I’m gonna share a letter that I’m not going to be able to use in the column and let my readers and listeners share their advice for the LW… My oldest friend has an extremely hard time cleaning herself and keeping her house sanitary. She weighs probably in 600 pounds range at this point, which she is happy with and I couldn’t care less about, but it does make it hard for her to clean and do day-to-day tasks. The thing that has me writing is that she smells bad. I believe this is mostly because she has a hard time wiping and cleaning herself. But the smell is sometimes unbearable and I’ve found myself avoiding her because it makes me sick to my stomach, especially when it comes to sharing food together. My friend has a significant history of trauma, which makes this a “handle with care” situation. I can’t just say to her, “You stink, let’s figure this out together.” I wish I could go in and clean her house for her — and I would be willing — but she would be mortified to know I think her home is filthy. Instead I keep finding reasons to not visit or not to stay long when I do. And it’s heartbreaking because I love this person so much and want to be close to her. I would love any advice you can give.  A Longtime Friend Interested in what my smart, insightful, and compassionate subs have to say. How should ALF handle this? Share your thoughts in the comments. Okay, going to go set up for Savage Love Live — hope to see you there!