There are so many great comments about this week’s column and podcast — confronting cologne addicts! sending nude pics! humiliating hung guys! — but I’m still COVID’s bitch and I don’t have the energy to respond. I’m so sorry!
But I am gonna share a letter that just came in just now and invite you to respond to it…
Hi, Dan!!! Gay man here, 73 years of age, in decent shape, and always horny! Old but not dead! However, I’m married (20+ years) to a 61-year-old guy who is all but dead sexually! Lots of conversations and requests that he allow me to stray on occasion, but he is adamantly opposed. I’m retired, and I have all day to possibly play with others, but I don’t want to cheat on him. I must add that in all other respects, we have a wonderful life together! Kids, grandkids, our own home, financial stability — but the lack of sex is killing me! My partner is also VERY vanilla...
...rs, but I don’t want to cheat on him. I must add that in all other respects, we have a wonderful life together! Kids, grandkids, our own home, financial stability — but the lack of sex is killing me! My partner is also VERY vanilla whereas I would love to explore some kink. I told him about it and now he thinks I’m a pervert. Bottom line, Dan, what do I do? We have seen multiple counselors (we’re trying a new one next week) but nothing changes. I’m on the edge of looking elsewhere without his consent! Advice! Please!
Almost Going Insane Nearly Gone
Yes, this question again — I get a dozen variations on this question every day — but I thought AGING’s question was worthy of sharing due to the age angle.
With the life expectancy of American males hovering around 75 (sigh), time is not exactly on AGING’s side. Which renders the advice typically given to someone in AGING’s position (keep talking to your spouse!) pretty worthless, at least from an actuarial perspective. That said, while it sounds like AGING has gotten a clear “no” from his husband on opening up their marriage, his husband’s willingness to see yet another counselor could be a sign AGING’s husband is coming around… in which case “keep talking” is solid advice. Or — hear me out — AGING’s husband could be using these sessions to run out the clock…. in which case “keep talking” is terrible advice.
So, gang: Factoring in how much time AGING has left… along with the sad fact that some men’s dicks predecease them… how much longer is AGING required to work on this before he’s allowed to DWYNTDTSMASN?
Oh, and thank you to the listener who sent me a link to this Instagram account. She thought a Muppet-Faced Man with shaggy hair dancing in his underpants would cheer me up and, dear readers, she was right. Also loved seeing grandma there on the couch ignoring his hard work.
