The weekly sex advice column that started it all

Licensed and Bonded

Weekly deadlines being what they are, this column was written before the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. We knew this was coming, thanks to the SCOTUS Leaker, but that didn’t make last week’s news any less devastating. (Who’s the leaker? My money’s on Ginni.) So, what can we do now? We can march, we … Read More »

Pride and Preference

I’m taking a week off, so this week’s “Savage Love” is a reprint of a column that was originally published on January 13, 2016. I hope everyone has a happy and safe Pride. Please be careful out there. — Dan As a queer man of color—I’m Asian—I feel wounded whenever I am exposed to gay … Read More »

Baddy Dom

I’m a 29-year-old bisexual woman in a non-monogamous relationship. A few years ago, I wanted to explore my submissive side and met up with a Dom I connected with on a kink site. We had a few drinks and hit it off. We discussed what we were comfortable with and our limits beforehand. I set … Read More »

Judgment Day

I’m trying to date again after back-to-back negative relationship experiences. Experiences that have made me question my own judgment and ability to set good boundaries. My friends and therapist all pointed out the red flags, but I was apparently blind to them. I love what you’ve said about how there is no “The One” out … Read More »

Joe Newton

Expensed With

I’m a 31-year-old queer person living in Europe. I recently met a 46-year-old man. We were visiting the same city for work and met on an app and went on a series of amazing dates. We have a lot of similar interests and work in parallel fields. Now we’re planning a trip to see each … Read More »

Emergency Quickies

My laptop died last week. My laptop couldn’t die when I was in the office, with capable tech support people close by. Oh, no. My laptop lost its will to live when I was thousands of miles away, in a country where I don’t speak the language. So, I wasn’t able to access my Savage … Read More »

Freyed Nerves

I am a 37-year-old heterosexual woman in a monogamous relationship with a het cis male. Let’s call him “Rick.” We’ve been together for five years and engaged for two. Our sex went from passionate, fun, and frequent early in the relationship to nearly nonexistent now. I have gently initiated conversations about how to spice it … Read More »

Real Worries

I’m a straight guy, married to a straight woman for 15 years. Several years back, I opened up to my wife about my fantasies of her sleeping with other men. I was nervous about bringing it up. Her views on sex had always been traditional, and she had always expressed a very strict idea of … Read More »

Open and Shut

Straight guy here in a one-sided open relationship. My wife and I opened our relationship just for her and to females only, so she could explore her bisexual side. I’m super proud of her for coming out and wanted her to feel fulfilled. When we agreed to this, I was naive and figured anything she … Read More »


I’m a heavy sleeper, and my wife knows that, but not so heavy that I don’t wake up when she periodically masturbates next to me and has the bed shaking pretty hard. She doesn’t know this wakes me. How do I handle this? Do I offer a hand (or a dick) the next time? Talk … Read More »