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Dear Readers: I’m on a vacation (and bed rest) this week. Please enjoy this selection of letters from three previously published columns. — Dan Borrowing Gen Z’s love for labelling everything, I’m a 46-year-old homoromantic asexual Canadian faggot. For me that means I’d like to love and be loved by another man but I’d hate having … Read More »

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Quickies

1. Will I ever get over my ex who’s packing? If you mean packing in the “putting things in bags” sense of the term, then your ex hasn’t even moved out yet. Give it a minute. If you mean packing in the “my ex has a massive cock” sense of the term, you may never … Read More »

Flagging Indicator

Bi female here. I’ve been seeing an ENM M/F couple for almost four months. The F was an acquaintance of mine for about two years. We are all close in age (late thirties, early forties). This is my first ethically non-monogamous relationship. Here are the pros: they are charming and attractive; the sex is great; … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: Please Delete Me!

Before we get to The Thursday Letter — which is day late (forgive me, dear readers, it’s been a hell of a week) — a quick update from BUMP, the pregnant woman who wrote in wondering if she should share the crazy sexual fantasies she was having late in her pregnancy with the wife she’d … Read More »

The Bends

I’m going through a really difficult time, and I could really use some perspective. I’m a gay 47-year-old man with a husband of 25+ years. We have two young children in the house. My husband and I are monogamish, and our relationship is okay. Not great, not terrible. Up until about three years ago, I … Read More »

Hang On Snoopy

I’m a 47-year-old divorced dad. Met a 26-year-old woman nine months ago. Things have been great except for one thing: My girlfriend won’t give me access to her phone. When we met, I explained that I have trust issues due to the actions of my ex-wife (multiple infidelities, lies, gaslighting), and that I couldn’t be … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: Naked and Afraid

One quick bit of feedback from an annoyed listener before we get to this week’s Thursday Letter: Says Wayne via email… Hi, Dan! I love nearly everything you have to say but there’s one big exception: you have a seriously unhealthy feeling about nudity. I’ve noticed it for years, but you topped yourself a few … Read More »

Quickies!

1. How do you tell the difference between a slow-burn connection and settling for something that’s just okay? There’s no settling down without some settling for…. because no one gets everything they want where romantic partners are concerned. So, if you’ve chosen someone you aren’t entirely sure about… welcome to the world’s most crowded club. … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: What What In the Butt

On Thursdays I share a question from a reader and try — I really, really do try my hardest — to let my readers give the advice. But first, a quick email from Extra… Lest we overrate hand jobs, Dan, Dicklord is here to remind us that they don’t always hit that spot. Catchy! And … Read More »

The Invite

I’m a late-thirties hetero married man. I’m also a flirt. I’ve known this about myself for a long time, and while my spouse knows this generally, she probably doesn’t know that I can lean into it a bit at times when she is not around. For a long time it was fine. I considered my … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: How Short is Too Short?

On Thursdays I share a question from a reader and try — I really, really do try my hardest — to let my readers give the advice… What advice do or the experts have for an older mom (60) who is trying to be sex positive and promote a healthy body image for her 14yr … Read More »