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I’m in my early twenties, and I’m looking to start exploring kink further, especially since my hometown is in a metropolitan area with a large kink community. I have no shame or fear about entering kink spaces beyond the typical nerves any beginner might have. I was lucky to be raised by some really awesome … Read More »

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STRUGGLE SESSION: Chosen Family, Pocket Altar Boys, Muppet-Faced Men and more!

No Struggle Session this week — my summer of dashing around the world to see family continues (next up: chosen family) — but there’s a wonderful conversation unfolding in the comment thread on this week’s column about being non-binary and what binaries need to know about dating non-binaries. (Yes, Alex, there was a master plan!) … Read More »

Fear of Fairing

I’m a 44-year-old woman with a history of childhood sexual trauma. I enjoy sex if I’m with a partner I feel very connected to emotionally, but I’ve never had an orgasm. Because of this I tend to rely on pleasing my partner during sex rather than my own arousal. It works OK for me at … Read More »

Quickies

1. What advice do you have for young people who want to have an open conversation with their partners about changing aspects of their sex life to make it more pleasurable without hurt feelings or awkwardness?  What’s more likely to lead to major hurt: A few awkward conversations now that (hopefully) lead to better conversations … Read More »

Situation Critical

I’m 27-year-old Italian guy. I just got out of a situationship with a woman five years older than me. It was a total mess. She wanted everything to revolve around her and be in control of everything because she had bad relationships in the past. She wanted to date other people, but I was always … Read More »

STRUGGLE SESSION: Pride Is (Still) Queer & Size Matters

Hey, gang: I’m still traveling back and forth and up and down this grating country of ours to see family — Iowa and Illinois down, Arizona and Colorado left to go — so this week’s Struggle Session is gonna be quick: just one letter from a reader, sent via email, just one uncharacteristically brief response … Read More »

Had To Getaway

Dear Readers: I’m at a family event — a happy one — this week. This column originally appeared in July 2013. Back with a new Savage Love next week. — Dan  I’m a 26-year-old straight female. I’m writing because I need to ask someone what to think right now. I just fucked a guy while … Read More »

The Boyfriend Experience

My boyfriend went on a trip abroad with his friend (also a guy). After he came back, he showed me that he made a Bumble profile while he was there. I didn’t feel like anything was off or ask him to show me; he volunteered. He said that he was just curious to see how … Read More »

STRUGGLE SESSION: Calling In Sick…

There are so many great comments about this week’s column and podcast — confronting cologne addicts! sending nude pics! humiliating hung guys! — but I’m still COVID’s bitch and I don’t have the energy to respond. I’m so sorry! But I am gonna share a letter that just came in just now and invite you … Read More »

Quickies

1. Queer boy in an open relationship with a silly question. I’ve started seeing someone recently. They’re cute and I enjoy their company, but they use a lot of cologne and it’s hurting my desire to be physical with them. I don’t know this person well and our trajectory is towards a friends-with-benefits sort of … Read More »