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My partner and I have been together nearly thirty years. He was never as into sex/romance/intimacy as much as I was, and things got worse after he had a malignant brain tumor removed six years ago. After chemo and a stem cell transplant, he is now cancer-free. However, he lost all interest in sexual and … Read More »

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“Savage Love” is America’s longest running sex advice column. A new column is posted every Tuesday. Become a Magnum Sub for access to the full column and the Struggle Session posted every Thursday!

Solo Survivor

Literally the only sex I’ve had is being raped. The only person who ever expressed any passion for me — the only person who ever made me feel sexy and desirable — was my rapist. While other people get to look back on great and terrible sex, all I have is a sex crime. A big part … Read More »

The Outsiders

Question about genders and dating apps which I will try to keep brief. I am a 45-year-old married cis male. After more than a decade of dipping in and out of the swinging lifestyle, my wife and I have decided to open up to dating other people. I’m trying to catch up with the language … Read More »

Allowances

For the longest time I’ve been into the feederism kink. It’s specifically the weight gain aspect of this kink — making myself or others bigger — that turns me on. I’ve always felt uneasy about this due to the health risks and have kept it hidden. I recently got a wonderful girlfriend, our relationship is great, … Read More »

Wants v. Gots

I am new to polyamory. I am an ethically non-monogamous hetero woman in her 50s and recently re-entered into my first secondary sexual relationship with a married friend whom I’ve known all my life. We lost touch after college, but he reconnected and restarted it. Is it normal to want to know if he has … Read More »

Struggle Session: Thursday Is a State of Mind…

On Thursdays I respond to comments from readers and listeners. These posts — which go up like clockwork on Thursdays — are for Magnum Subs only. So, if you’re already a sub, thank you and read on! If you’d like to become one of my subs, do it now! Magnum Subs get the Magnum Lovecast … Read More »

Bruise Control

My question could come across as kink shaming. That is not my intent. I am a habitual self-harmer who is planning to seek therapy. However, I find myself unable to stop comparing attitudes towards the kind of self-harm I’ve engaged in with attitudes toward BDSM pain play. When I was a teenager, I would describe … Read More »