I’m a newly re-married 50-year-old man. My wife and I have settled into
a comfortable vanilla-sex routine. I enjoy it. My problem is that I also enjoy
kinky sex. When I was single I used to see pro-doms pretty regularly. I’ve tried
to introduce BDSM (bondage/discipline/sado-masochism) to my wife gently, but without
much success. She’s obviously not interested in something that happens to interest
me very much. I think I have three alternatives. One, feed my fetish in solitary
ways (we’re both comfortable with each other masturbating). Two, see professionals
on a limited basis, keeping it from her (I’m not comfortable with this). Three,
find some way to help her enjoy BDSM, even if she’s not fully into it.
The problem with option three is that your partner actually being into
BDSM makes all the difference. Right now, I don’t see her getting there....