I read your recent column about a man having trouble incorporating BDSM
into his marriage. I’m in a similar situation. In it, you wrote that men are more
likely to be kinky than women. But I’m a woman, and I’m kinkier than my husband.
I was a virgin until I was 22, never had any erotic dreams or fantasies
that I was aware of, and I never masturbated. I was sexually repressed, I guess.
My first partner was wonderfully patient, and very understanding. The first
four years of this relationship was spent in the delightful pursuit of my sexual
identity. My boyfriend was always wonderful about encouraging me to explore
his fantasies, and since I wasn’t aware of any of my own, this was fine with
me. We married three years ago.
Now, we have a problem. In the last year, I “woke up” to a huge list of
my own...