Daddy Issues

My father is 65 years old and has been a devoted husband to my mother who has been battling a medical condition for the past 30 years—a condition that prevents her from engaging in sexual activity of any kind. He has not had sex in all this time and is desperately frustrated. He’s not internet savvy—quite the opposite—and has taken to calling me across the continent from Michigan to ask for my help in getting him laid. At first, I just thought it was gross. But now, a couple of years and awkward conversations later, I wish I had some good advice for him—if only so that we never have to speak of this again. Is there a way that a man (once again, not internet savvy—it’s impossible to emphasize that point too much) can legally find someone to have sex with in Michigan? I will read your answer...