STRUGGLE SESSION: Groove Things, Luggage Lifters, Old Geezers and More!

...ed people because it’s a “set it and forget it” kind of experience. It turns your vagina or rectum into a resonating chamber and the sensation is incredible. Thank you for the recommendation, Ty! From Dix via email… Hasn’t the expression “lift my luggage” already been taken by Sam Brinton? George Rekers — another infamous homophobe that turned out to be a self-hating closet case — hilariously claimed he needed a rent boy to “lift his luggage” long before Sam Brinton got in trouble for some drearily literal luggage lifting: Brinton was arrested for stealing the bags of well-dressed women he spotted in airports. It was Rekers’ hilariously transparent lie that instantly turned “lift my luggage” into a euphemism for “fuck my brains out.” (It didn’t stick, sadly, as I lamented in the opening of this week’s Lovecast.) That said, it’s possible Rekers had his rent boy schlep his bags along with the other services he was tasked with providing, so there may have been some literal luggage lifting involved in the George Rekers scandal too. From JF via email… My friends Fin and Emma have just put out their 400th episode of their podcast Normalizing Nonmonogamy. The format is interviews with people in all forms of ENM. They may have created the single greatest record of such relationships. I’m sure you understand the task of putting out weekly podcasts. Episode 400 is an interview with Dossie Easton (The Ethical Slut). Fin and Emma are fans of yours. You should have them on your your show! Congrats to Fin and Emma on their 400th episode — getting a podcast out every week is work — and thank you, JF, for the suggestion. We’ll reach out to Fin and Emma about having them on the Lovecast! And important correction about something I got wrong in the intro to the show this week from Slowquietmusic… Ken Paxton is not the lieutenant governor of Texas, Dan, he’s the attorney general. Our actual lieutenant governor (LG) is Dan Patrick, who’s even more odious than Ken Paxton for being one of the most powerful and effective LGs to ever hold the office — an office many observers of Texas politics consider to be a more powerful on than the office of the governor because the LG controls the senate. Moreover, Ken Paxton did not just barely survive his impeachment trial. The trial was held in the senate, and Dan Patrick ensured he was acquitted. I pretty sure — but not 100% sure — that I’m total agreement with Sameach here: That lady on the Lovecast should get the abortion, tell her husband after, and if he’s upset she can tell him he should have gotten a vasectomy already. There is no reason to put the onus on the woman if neither of them want kids. Fellas, YEET THAT SKEET. Okay, here’s a letter that came in this week that isn’t going to make it into the column for reasons that should be obvious to regular readers… I hope you can help an old geezer. When someone asks how long I’ve been married I respond “Twenty five great years!” My wife always says, “But we’ve been married forty three!” And then I say, “Yeah, but only twenty five were great!” Although it’s said teasingly there is truth. For the first 25 years the sex was hot — even after we had kids — and we never thought we would have any sex problems. Then, menopause hit. Almost imperceptibly, frequency slowed, penetration was occasionally painful for the next ten, then monthly blow jobs/clit licks for the next five or six years and now… nothing. While the obvious advice would be to move on, I can’t. We have so much great history and she still loves me so I will never leave her. She treats me great, supports me, takes care of me, is a great mom…. everything a good wife and partner would do except for that sex thing. There’s no passion, no intimacy, nothing physical beyond a kiss in the morning and one at night. I’ve talked to her about it multiple times but nothing changes. I can’t go through the years I have left sexless. We got some therapy years ago to no avail so now I’m looking for a different solution. I have no idea how to approach her with a plan to get a FWB in a similar situation. After all this time of not getting my wick wet, I don’t think it’s an unreasonable solution. Or is it? Not Clever Just Horny If you have some helpful advice for NCJH — or if you want to point him to one of the four thousand columns I’ve already written outlining the limited options available to people trapped in sexless marriages — drop it in the comments.