STRUGGLE SESSION: Important Corrections, Fluffy Dragons, and More!

...rc="https://www.youtube.com/embed/h-c_O84d6b4?si=QEmyluuEYEzCpFN6" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"> Okay, a couple of reader responses that came in this week via email. First up, Andrew flagged an error in my advice to Q3 in this week’s Quickies column… I read your response to a letter where a woman had questions about sexual safety measures as she and her husband were opening their marriage to him engaging in seasonal encounters with men. Two things I noted and wanted to sound-off on and maybe get some clarity on your advice with what I’ve heard/learned: ‘ You mentioned PrEP on demand (AKA “Disco Dosing”) and that it could be done with Descovy or Truvada. My understanding is that Descovy, being a smaller dose of the two drugs in those pills (gentler on kidneys and bone density), is not adequate for on-demand use. Logically I would have thought that the answer, then, is just to double up on the less potent pills. Clearly, this is a matter to discuss with a doctor, but since you’d addressed it already, I figured I’d go there. Do you have any clarity on that point? ‘ Secondly, there are additional steps, specifically vaccinations, that can add more increments of “risk filtration:” MPOX, HepA, HepB, Gardasil (now approved for men up to age 45), Meningitis ACWY, and Meningitis B which gives some small degree of cross protection against gonorrhea which is caused by a closely related bacteria. I’m a big proponent of vaccination generally and the herd protection it adds. I feel like it’s about time us queer bulls, cows, and steers got a heaping dose of that protection for us and ours. Per NYC Health and other trustworthy health orgs/departments, only Truvada should be used for PrEP on demand. While Descovy and Truvada are both approved for daily PrEP use, only Truvada should be used to “disco dose.” (And it’s more than one dose, as I mentioned in the column: two pills the day before planned sexual activity, one pill the day after, and another the day after that.) You can’t just take more Descovy to use it as PrEP on demand — it’s gotta be Truvada. Thanks to Andrew and others who flagged this mistake. The column has been corrected. ‘ And I didn’t mention — but should’ve brought up — the routine vaccinations gay men and bi should receive. Regular Savage Lovecast guest and gay health superstar Dr. Carlton posted a brief explainer listing the vaccines gay and bi men should be getting on his Instagram account. ‘ Some highly specialized advice for the mom of the trans kid who identifies as a fluffy dragon… This is for the mom on Episode 985 with the autistic child looking for resources to help with gender and species dysphoria. Right up front, YES there are resources. Her kid’s not alone and neither is she. Early 40s mostly cisgender white pan guy. Oh, and furry fan for 30+ years. You already know about furries, the fluffy dragon definitely does, but mom sounds like she doesn’t yet. That should be addressed because the fandom is where they will both find social support not available anywhere else. Neurodivergence, gender identity, and species identity all converge in the fandom with high representation. Something like 85% of furries surveyed are LGBTQ+ and a small but significant number identify AS an animal, not just with an animal. For mom: a good place for you to start is https://furscience.com, who run a high quality research and outreach program studying the fandom and last year released a book covering 10 years of work. The book is free to download on the site. It’s nerdy, but I guarantee you and your child are going to see your experiences reflected in those pages. It’s also very important you stay involved and supervise how your kid engages with fandom. There are plenty of minor-friendly places to be and things to do, but many features are for adults only. And like any other social group, there are some landmines to be aware of and a tendency for destructive infighting. It’s up to you both to set boundaries and rules, and make sure the time spent there is positive and beneficial. Go to a furry convention together 🙂 Species identity questions can be rough to work through and there is no single solution that works for everybody. I grew up with zero support at home because I was way too scared to even bring it up. Personally, I found that by working on improving the life and the body that I do have, eventually made it possible to incorporate my animal side, instead of pining for the life and the body that I do not. It took awhile. You won’t know how important or unimportant the fluffy dragon identity is until you’ve given it due time and attention. If you decide to try professional counseling, look for someone who is Queer affirming, tech savvy, and interested in the intersection of queerness and fan culture. And no matter what, always be the parent who can be trusted with anything. If things are upside down your child will need you by their side. Okay, in keeping with this week’s “keeping it short” theme, here’s a quick question that came in too late for my most recent Quickies column… Any advice for getting over one crush without getting under another? Too Brokenhearted To Fuck Got some advice for TBTF? Drop it in the comments…