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“Savage Love” is America’s longest running sex advice column. A new column is posted every Tuesday. Become a Magnum Sub for access to the full column and the Struggle Session posted every Thursday!

Cat Rules

I’ve been with my girlfriend for ten years. We moved in with each other three years ago. It’s not working for me. I love my girlfriend. She’s one of the kindest people I have ever met, slow to anger, and always listens first. We never fight, and I don’t want to break up with her. … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: All the Crazy Married People

On Thursdays I share a question from a reader and do my best to sit on my hands and let my readers give the advice. But first, some feedback… Says Thankful via email… Hey, Dan! In reference to the sexless marriage messages you get all the time, I just thought I would share this. Cis … Read More »

Third Railed

Cis het woman here. I got extremely angry today because a guy I’ve been seeing (let’s call him “Cam”) in a MFM triad for the past ten years started to film me giving head to my other male partner (call him “Stan”) without asking. I only have two “third rail” boundaries, Dan, and one of … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: The Bread Winner

On Thursdays I share a question from a reader and do my best to sit on my hands and let my readers give the advice — but first! An important correction… Hey, Dan! Quebecois French listener here. FROTTAGE absolutely does not mean frothing in French, it means “to rub” or “the action of rubbing.” The … Read More »

Quickies

1. I’m a 20-year-old virgin and I have until very recently thought I was pan romantic/asexual. But I have found myself being sexually attracted to my close female friends. How do I know if I am ace or struggling with religious guilt? Labels can wait — get out there and live a little, kiddo. P.S. … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: Savage Love Live Today at Noon (PST)!

On Thursdays I share a question from a reader and do my best to sit on my hands and let my readers give the advice… First off, thanks for sharing you wisdom with the world, it has really helped me! Okay, here we go: I’m a queer female that has been in a monogamous relationship … Read More »

Cleaning House

Bisexual AFAB non-binary here. (And a Magnum sub!) I have a legal query I’m hoping you or perhaps one of your guest experts might be able to help with? I’m a self-employed cleaner in Portland, Oregon, who offers a discount for LGBTQ+ folks on first cleans. The discount attracts the kinds of clients I want, … Read More »

The Thursday Letter: That Thing She Does

On Thursdays I share a question from a reader and do my best to sit on my hands and let my readers give the advice… I kind of know what you’re going to say, Dan: “Use your words.” But I’m having a hard time figuring out which words to use, I’m not even entirely sure … Read More »

Red Wedding

I am planning my wedding, which is happening this summer. My partner and I are trying to plan an event that’s casual, fun, and full of love. Unfortunately, my parents are MAGA. And they relish trolling me. The other day on a very rare phone call they started going on about wearing MAGA gear at … Read More »

Gone Girl

My husband and I (cis male and cis female) never had much sexual chemistry. In the beginning he said not to worry, we have a lot of time, and it could only get better. But nothing has changed. When I express my frustration with the lack of sex usually after going months without an orgasm … Read More »