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“Savage Love” is America’s longest running sex advice column. A new column is posted every Tuesday. Become a Magnum Sub for access to the full column and the Struggle Session posted every Thursday!

Not Glue

I wanted to record this for your podcast but I’m literally too ashamed to say it out loud. I was in a relationship for more than twenty years with a guy who abused me sexually, emotionally, physically, psychologically, and financially. I grew up in a pretty unstable (read: abusive and neglectful) household and I’m proud … Read More »

A New Dom

I’m a 36-year-old reader, a recent subscriber to your column, and a gay man from Europe. I had a late coming out a few years ago, due to some financial and social constraints. I lived with my family well into my twenties, and then later with flatmates, and as a consequence I have never had … Read More »

Animal Urges

I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt and shame for a long time. (I’m going to drop a quick content warning here for sexual abuse: some of your readers might want to skip my question.) I am a victim of childhood sexual abuse. My abuser forced me to watch horrible zoophilia porn while they abused … Read More »


1. I’m a 57-year-old guy, married but separated, in reasonable shape. I usually masturbate at night as a “sleeping pill.” Over the past few years, it’s gotten more difficult to orgasm. I get hard, I vary my technique, but I just can’t come. Sometimes I’m up for hours jerking it before trying to fall asleep. … Read More »

The Finish Delegation

Cis bisexual guy here in his 20s. In the entire time I’ve been sexually active, I’ve pretty much been able to finish whenever I’d like. I’ve literally never once finished too quickly. That said, the idea of being unable to hold back my orgasm and coming too quickly has always been a big turn on … Read More »