Flashback: My last serious girlfriend was kinky. I am pretty vanilla — I’m not a natural sub — but I was game. We got into D/s play, and we went to some big fetish parties together. Her favorite “foreplay” was having me kneel between her legs while she showed me guys on dating apps she’d … Read More »

Struggle Session is a bonus column where I respond to comments — just a few — from readers, listeners, haters, and fans. I also share a letter that won’t be included in the column and invite my readers to share their advice. This email came from David… Hi, Dan. Just started reading this fascinating book. … Read More »

I’m a bi girl in a serious relationship with a bi guy, and said bi guy has a major thing for being cucked. We’ve had a few threesomes before, but only with bisexuals and the focus was on all three of us equally. Recently, though, we had a 2-on-1 threesome with a straight guy, and … Read More »

Hey, gang: I’m in Berlin on a quick birthday trip with the boyfriend… so, it’s gonna short session today. But please don’t think I’m slacking: I was today’s guest on Jung & Naiv, Germany’s biggest independent news and politics podcast. I spent more than two hours (!) talking about fascism, sexism, queer rights, Franco’s Spain, … Read More »

1. How’s anal with someone with pearls in their dick? I’m getting some installed soon. You’re referring to pearling, a body modification where small pearl-like beads are inserted under the skin of the penis. Post-pearling, your cock — to the untrained eye (read: most eyes) — is gonna look like it’s covered in cysts that … Read More »

I need help figuring out how to tell my kids I am non-monogamous. I’ve been non-monogamous for over five years and have been married for nearly fifteen years. My husband and I have three kids together, the oldest of which is now 14. My husband and I have not been sexually active for nearly eight … Read More »

It’s gonna be a very brief struggle session this week — hardly a session, barely a struggle — since I’m a dozen times zones away from home and dying of jet lag. Got this via email… With Jimmy Kimmel, many journalists, many professors, and even fast food workers getting fired and suspended for pointing out … Read More »

I hate to admit this, but I have a hard time feeling comfortable having sex or even talking to guys unless I’m drunk or high. I’m a trans man. I’m a sexual assault survivor. Admittedly, I’m also a bit insecure about myself. And while I’ve been in therapy for years, I don’t feel I’m making … Read More »

Struggle Session is a bonus column where I respond to comments — just a few — from Savage Love readers, Savage Lovecast listeners, and the occasional online rando. I also share a letter that won’t be included in the column and invite my readers to give advice. It’s gonna be a short one this week, … Read More »

I’m an early 40s lesbian in the Vegas area and I’m sorry to report that not all lesbians have gotten the memo that oral comes standard. I have faced this issue since I began dating. I’ve met many women who require creativity and persistence to come — and you know what? It’s my pleasure. I’m not … Read More »