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“Savage Love” is America’s longest running sex advice column. A new column is posted every Tuesday. Become a Magnum Sub for access to the full column and the Struggle Session posted every Thursday!

Blood Sport

Dear Readers: I’m away on my last reconnecting-with-family trip of the summer. This column originally appeared in 2018. Back with an all-new, action-packed Savage Love Quickies column next week. — Dan I’m a professional dominatrix, and I thought I’d seen everything in the last five years. But this situation completely baffled the entire dungeon. This middle-aged … Read More »

STRUGGLE SESSION: Potty Mouths, Gift Cards, Death Wishes and More!

Okay, let’s struuuuuugle… Haven’t gotten an email like this one in a while… I happen to pickup this publication newspaper that you happen to write a column in as I proceeded to read it and listen to your horrendous language your use of curse words I was appalled. How could a publication put your column … Read More »

Fading Away

I’m a cis bisexual American woman in my 30s, married to a man. I’ve been living in Europe for the past decade. I’m self-employed, and it’s a pretty lonely existence sometimes. I don’t speak the local language well. It’s a very tight-knit culture, and everybody seems like they’ve had their friend groups since birth.  I’ve … Read More »

STRUGGLE SESSION: Groove Things, Luggage Lifters, Old Geezers and More!

It’s another easy-breezy session this week, gang, as our summer of running around to reconnect with family continues. Right now, Terry and I are in Scotland visiting some very special members of our chosen family. We came here the summer we met — it was our first vacation together — and we wanted to come … Read More »

Privacy Settings

I’m in my early twenties, and I’m looking to start exploring kink further, especially since my hometown is in a metropolitan area with a large kink community. I have no shame or fear about entering kink spaces beyond the typical nerves any beginner might have. I was lucky to be raised by some really awesome … Read More »

STRUGGLE SESSION: Chosen Family, Pocket Altar Boys, Muppet-Faced Men and more!

No Struggle Session this week — my summer of dashing around the world to see family continues (next up: chosen family) — but there’s a wonderful conversation unfolding in the comment thread on this week’s column about being non-binary and what binaries need to know about dating non-binaries. (Yes, Alex, there was a master plan!) … Read More »

Fear of Fairing

I’m a 44-year-old woman with a history of childhood sexual trauma. I enjoy sex if I’m with a partner I feel very connected to emotionally, but I’ve never had an orgasm. Because of this I tend to rely on pleasing my partner during sex rather than my own arousal. It works OK for me at … Read More »

Quickies

1. What advice do you have for young people who want to have an open conversation with their partners about changing aspects of their sex life to make it more pleasurable without hurt feelings or awkwardness?  What’s more likely to lead to major hurt: A few awkward conversations now that (hopefully) lead to better conversations … Read More »

Situation Critical

I’m 27-year-old Italian guy. I just got out of a situationship with a woman five years older than me. It was a total mess. She wanted everything to revolve around her and be in control of everything because she had bad relationships in the past. She wanted to date other people, but I was always … Read More »