I would like to remove the hair from my butt, but it’s hard to fit the razor in my cleavage. Which depilatories are safe for the area?
Hairy Butt Blues
After reading your to-the-point letter, HBB, the old, insensitive, helpful, pre-Labiagate Dan Savage would have found the safest, quickest way to rid yourself of yer wiry ol’ butthairs and advised you to do just that. The new, sensitive, unhelpful, post-Labiagate Dan Savage, on the other hand, does not believe that anyone should chop off any of their beautiful-as-God-/Goddess-intended-them-to-be body parts, however pesky, putrid, or piddling. If wiry asswhiskers, long labia, and skanky foreskins weren’t lovely and scrumptious and functional, well, then God/Goddess would not have filled our asscracks with asswhiskers or decorated our genitals with stray ribbons of flesh.
Before you pluck even one of your precious asswhiskers, HBB, I implore you to...