Please disregard my previous e-mail.
As of the New Year, my girlfriend is no longer a
virgin.
No Longer Dating Virgin Girl
Uh, gee. Sorry about that, NLDVG.
I’m not sorry that your girlfriend is no
longer a virgin, of course, as virginity is a scourge that I’ve
dedicated my life to stamping out. I’m sorry that I was unable to
assist you. I could fob you off, I suppose, with that dodge favored by
professional advice columnists everywhere: “The volume of the mail I
receive prevents me from answering every letter I receive blah blah
blah.” While it’s true that I receive more letters than I could ever
possibly respond to (if your question doesn’t appear in the column
within three weeks, people, you’re on your own), that wasn’t the case
with your letter.
Fact is, NLDVG, I didn’t answer your
question because I was stumped. I didn’t know what the hell to...