fbpx

America’s longest-running sex-advice column!

All the Red Flags

I am a 28-year-old woman who
has been with my boyfriend for two years. I would call it a stable,
fulfilling, and kinky relationship. I consider myself GGG, and every
time my boyfriend has brought up a kink or variation, I’ve been willing
to try it. Some things became a permanent part in our play, others have
gone into the “tried that, didn’t like it” pile without any
problems.

Recently, though, there has been a
problem.

Eight years ago, I was raped. I have had
counseling, but I am still sometimes troubled by nightmares and
flashbacks. My boyfriend knows this. Lately, though, he has expressed a
desire to explore rape scenarios. His ideal setup would be to obtain my
consent in advance, then, sometime when the mood struck him, he would
“attack” and take me, and I couldn’t say no or use a safe word. Once
the “rape” started, he could do whatever he...

Want to read the rest? Subscribe now to get every question, every week, the complete Savage Love archives, special events, and much more!