42-year-old dad here. I’ve been married for 12 years, and my marriage has been somewhat turbulent. But after some affairs—one where my wife screwed my best friend—and therapy, we reconnected, righted ourselves, and started a wonderful family. We both identify as bisexual now, and we are ethically non-monogamous. My question is this: my wife never seeks out other lovers, but I often do. She thinks looking for sex on apps is gross and won’t try it. She did recently suggest we become poly—that we date other couples together—only to shut that down after one date with another couple. She also kind of slut-shames me when I ask permission to hook up or date someone else. She wants to be open in theory, but she seems to be against it in practice. We communicate well and she continues to give me permission (but always after shaming me), and I...