Cage Match

...e my balls can be tight to my body, I can’t find a chastity device I can use. Cock cages are held in place by rings behind the balls but are painful for me to wear and sometimes my smaller ball pops out of it, which is painful. And because my soft cock is small, it’s easy to “slip out.” The pro Dom I see did manage to get me in a cage once, but I couldn’t safely wear it for twenty minutes or so due to how much it hurt. I’ve purchased a CB6000, which wasn’t comfortable, and then bought some other models from different companies without any luck. I’m reluctant to keep spending money on cages in the hopes that maybe one will fit me. They’re expensive, Dan, and they’re not things a guy can return! Do you have ideas or suggestions? Or do I just have to accept that my cock wasn’t built to be locked up? Lusting Over Caging Kick “I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this exact same story,” said Christopher Miers at Steelwerks. “Only a small percentage of guys have a ball that didn’t drop, but it’s not as uncommon as some would think. Your reader definitely shouldn’t give up on a chastity lifestyle as there is always a solution!” Miers has been designing and making custom stainless steel and titanium cock cages for a quarter of a century, LOCK, and he’s yet to encounter a cock that couldn’t be locked up. “We work very closely with our clients to ensure all needs are met so our clients can have a comfortable life locked,” said Miers. “And we’ve made plenty of cages for men who can’t find the perfect fit in a mass-produced cage. I don’t want to get into all of these devices — however, regarding your reader’s specific issue with the CB6000, it has a very wide and thick cock ring, which causes almost all users discomfort.” Unlike mass-produced cages (which work great for many men), each male chastity device Steelwerks sells is made by hand and fitted to each individual client’s junk — they don’t call Steelwerks cages the Rolls Royce of male chastity devices for nothing — and they’re consequently expensive. But if you keep buying mass-produced cock cages in the hopes of finding one that fits, LOCK, eventually you’re going to have spent more money on cock cages you can’t wear (or return) than you would’ve spent on one that was designed for your body. On the Lovecast: Dating after divorce…how hard can it be? Have a listen to this week’s episode. “The first thing we tell clients is to come to Montreal or meet us at a kink event and get measured in person,” said Miers. “And it’s not always just the cock ring that’s a problem. The scrotal gap — the distance between the cage and the cock ring that anchors it to the body— as well as cage length and diameter all play into a cage fitting properly. The material the cage is made of, as well as its finish can also be a factor, as they affect how the body moves within the device and how your skin reacts to it.” Steelwerks also makes male chastity devices that don’t have cock rings at their base — cages that just enclose the head and shaft — but to wear one of those, LOCK, you’re gonna have to do more than just open your wallet. “We refer to these cages as ‘minimalist devices,’” said Miers. “They don’t have a cock ring — but they do require an established cock piercing. Our most popular minimalist cage is the Schandmaske. It’s a cage that completely covers the head of the cock and a portion of the shaft. While the Schandmaske does allow for a partial erection, it gives you the feeling of being under strict control and it’s invisible under most attire.” Lots of guys who don’t have your issues — showers with low-hanging balls who can comfortably wear cages anchored around their balls with cock rings — find they can slip out of various chastity devices; some of these guys choose to get their cocks pierced, as for many it’s the quickest way to take chastity from symbolic play (they wear the cage to remind themselves they’re not supposed to touch their cocks) to actual chastity (the cage prevents them from touching their cocks). “But my experience has taught me that a well-fitted cage can prevent slipping out in ‘growers’ and ‘showers’ alike,” said Miers, “so it’s possible to securely wear a chastity cage without being pierced. So, if a piercing isn’t for LOCK, he shouldn’t be discouraged. While lots of cages are mass produced these days — unfortunately — there are still a few custom companies out there. And while a custom cage may be more expensive, you’re likelier to enjoy long-term chastity success with a custom product.” To learn more about Steelwerks — and to see their products in action — follow Steelwerks on Instagram or visit their website. I have a problem. I am a straight male. My smart, funny, beautiful one-year-younger-than-me sister has been my best friend for my whole life. We were even roommates at one point. She is straight, also. Each of us has had romantic relationships. She is my only sibling. When my sister was 14, she showed me her bare breasts because she was proud of them. She asked me if I wanted to touch them. I did touch them. But then I got totally weirded out. She apologized profusely, put her shirt back on, and nothing like that ever happened between us again. Ten years later, out of the blue, she brought up the incident, and she apologized once more. Then I admitted to her that over all the years since that happened, I have hoped she would do the same thing again. She was shocked. I apologized, or at least I tried to. She did not say anything. She just got up and walked out. I did not hear from her again for more than a week. That was six months ago, and ever since it has just been awkward and weird between us. I want to fix this, but I don’t know how. Please help. Missing My Best Friend Some beds can’t be un-shat, some pooches can’t be un-screwed, some palms can’t be un-faced. The best you can do here is lie and lie convincingly: “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t know what to say, and I said the wrong thing. I don’t even know why I said that. I wasn’t traumatized by what you did — what we did — when we were kids. I just felt awkward about it. And when you brought it up to apologize — which you didn’t need to do — the most awkward possible thing came out of my mouth. Now I’m apologizing profusely for the dumb thing I said. I hope we can both forgive each other and stuff this all back down the memory hole where it belongs.” P.S. It might work, it might not work — like I said, some beds can’t be un-shat, etc. Your sister probably spent the last ten years thinking you had a great relationship despite what she did in a moment of teen-brain, hormone-addled temporary insanity. Now she probably thinks you were in the next room jerking off thinking about her when you lived together, MMBF, and that you were her best friend because you wanted to touch her breasts again, not despite the fact that you once had. I recently walked in on my beautiful favorite human of two years on his hands and knees, with a huge erection, spreading his butt cheeks with one hand, so my labradoodle could lick his butt hole. He immediately jumped up and said, “That was weird. I don’t know why I did that.” I said I thought it was a weird choice too and asked him if he’d done that before. He said no, this was the only time. I told him I had to get some work done and that we’d talk about it later. I felt shocked and shaken. I now feel wary and worried. I have two 20-year-old daughters. They were not home at the time. Kink doesn’t bother me — however, a man with porous boundaries and a lack of impulse control in my home does bother me. He’d left the door open, he knew I was at home, and my house is small. He seems as shocked at his own behavior as I do. I suggested perhaps he was trying to tell me something? He says he doesn’t know why he did that. I’m not sure how to process this event. How do I move past this? I feel like I need the help of a good therapist. Distressed Over Goddamn Grossly Offensive Sight I’m not a good therapist or a bad therapist — I’m not a therapist at all — which may be why DOGGOS sent her question to Jeff “Therapy Jeff” Guenther, host of the podcast Problem Solved, and not to me. Jeff is an actual therapist — and a very popular one, with more than a million followers on Instagram. So, if DOGGOS didn’t send her question to me, what is her question doing here? There’s a simple explanation for that: Jeff read her letter and immediately thought of me. “It seems like an automatic dealbreaker to me,” Jeff wrote when he forwarded DOGGOS’ letter. “But am I being too reactive or a prude? And the dog isn’t consenting, which feels fucked up to me. Care to give your take?” Hm. I’m not sure how to feel about this — I don’t wanna be the first person Jeff or anyone else thinks of when someone gets their ass eaten by a dog (I’m gonna need a good therapist to sort this out) — but I’m going to set my feelings aside and be a professional about this. Okay, Jeff, here’s my take: You are not being reactive or a prude. This is an automatic dealbreaker for the reasons DOGGOS cites: porous boundaries and poor impulse control. (Chalking this up to “impulse control” means giving DOGGOS’ “favorite human” the benefit of very grave doubts; basically, we’re taking the claim that he’s never done this before at face value.) He’s not someone I would trust in my home, he’s not someone I would want around my kids, and he’s not someone I would feel comfortable leaving my dogs alone with while I took a crap or a nap. Also, some things can’t be un-seen and/or un-known (there aren’t memory holes big enough to stuff this one down) and I can’t see how this wouldn’t be a libido/desire/attraction killer. DOGGOS will never be able to eat this man’s ass again — or let him eat hers — without flashing on the mental image of her dog eating his. Now, we’re very particular about animals and consent up until the moment we want to kill and eat them — or wear them — but in addition to the dog not being able to consent, this labradoodle wasn’t capable of telling on her boyfriend. But given that DOGGOS’ house is small and that her boyfriend left the bedroom door open, there’s a good chance her boyfriend wanted to get caught — there’s a good chance he was trying to tell on himself — and that he was hoping to get a different reaction. But when he saw how weirded out DOGGOS was, he went with, “Yeah, that was weird,” and, “First time I’ve done anything that weird,” and not… whatever he was planning to say in the alternate universe where DOGGOS reacted positively to the sight of her dog eating the ass of her favorite human. All that said, it’s easy to tell someone to dump their favorite human and harder to actually dump your favorite human. So, DOGGOS shouldn’t give herself any grief for hesitating and/or for wanting to talk to a good therapist before she dumps him. Which is what she needs to do. P.S. To find out what Jeff Guenther and his co-host Alex Moskovich had to say to DOGGOS, be sure to listen to the episode of Problem Solved that comes out today! P.P.S. Get Jeff Guenther’s wonderful book — Big Dating Energy: How to Create Lasting Love by Tapping Into Your Authentic Self — here! Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to [email protected]! Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan! Become Dan’s Sub at savage.love/subscribe!