STRUGGLE SESSION: Calling In Sick

... never loved at all? It has been two years since we parted, and it is still so painful, and in retrospect, I deeply regret getting that involved. Although I believe he was being genuine at the time we had the initial kids conversation, being the younger partner, his views did evolve, and of course he had time on his side, which I did not. People change. I’m so sorry, Anonymous — and as painful as it was to end things (and as painful as it still sounds), I’m glad you ended things instead of trying and failing/arranging to fail. Only a terrible person’s mind would go there… and my mind went straight there… which means I’m a terrible person. You are not. I hope you get under someone soon who makes you feel differently about this breakup. Says CSpot about the same call… I think the reason why the younger guy never asked the woman he is dating her age is that he has access to the internet. ALL of your personal info is already out there! ALL of it! It doesn’t take a super sleuth to get someone’s DOB. Or maybe the caller’s boyfriend pulled the same move I did the morning after I met Terry… Quick recap: I met Terry in a bar, he was high, I was drunk. I used the a pickup line that made me sound like a serial killer (“You have a pretty mouth”), Terry responded with a line that proved he was THE ONE (“The better to eat you with”), and we went back to my very depressing apartment. The next morning, I couldn’t remember his name — even though he was clearly THE ONE — so, I fished THE ONE’s wallet out of THE ONE’s pants while THE ONE was in the shower, and looked at his drivers license. Got THE ONE’s name, his DOB, and learned that he was an organ donor — which I kind of already knew by that point. (This paragraph was brought to you by powerful (but ineffective) cold medications. (Also, I am a top. If anyone was donating organs the night we met, it was me.)) Red Blonde… Thank god Dan called bullshit on the bathtub scenario! I definitely think the slave is lying about that and by the end of the call, I was wondering if actually the caller had made everything up because there were so many odd details. But back to the bathtub—how many people are shitting at parties, how many people are willing to shit on someone else and have them eat it, and how many people can shit while perched on the edge of a tub or crouched over a person. That just seems like a fair amount of specialized skill! The kind of specialized skills one rarely finds outside a sex dungeon in Berlin. Sean looked great got a lot of compliments on his shirt at the NoKings protest in Boston… While we’re on the subject: fuck this shit, fuck this shit, fuck this shit, fuck this shit, and fuck this shit. If you wanna look great at the next protest — or the much more radical mass mobilizations that seem inevitable — get yours here! Okay, I’m going back to bed — [puking face emoji here]  — but I’m going to leave you with this question… My wife and I have been together about 15 years — best friends since college, with likely too much overlap in our lives: same hobbies, same friends, same everything. We’ve had our share of friction around things like money or tidiness, but overall, it’s been a fun, loving, and harmonious relationship. Sex has been good, not great, but improving as we’ve explored toys and a little ENM. On balance, I’ve always felt the “price of admission” was worth paying. Last year, my wife started intensive therapy to address past trauma. Since then, she’s been asserting more independence — especially through a new hobby that takes up a lot of time. Her social life now revolves more around this hobby. She wears clothes that advertise this hobby. Her water bottle is covered in stickers related to this hobby. It’s become a bit of an obsession. I am not particularly interested in said hobby, and I know she wouldn’t want me to get into it anyway, as she wants it to be her thing. I have lots of things going on in my own life — I have my own friends and hobbies — but I can’t help feeling left behind. The time we used to spend together (shared hobbies, house projects, intimacy) has dwindled. When I’ve brought up my concerns and discontentment, she accuses me of not being happy that she’s found something that is such a positive influence in her life. There is a part of me that’s happy for her, but I also really miss our old life together. Lately, I catch myself fantasizing about finding a partner who’s more excited to spend time with me, who shares my interests, and with whom I feel a deeper sexual spark. It feels like the “price of admission” has changed, and I’m not sure she’s still the .87 I can round up to “The One.” We don’t have kids yet, but we are planning to start trying next year. This is adding more pressure to decide whether I really want to stay in this relationship. I love her deeply, but I can’t shake the thought that someone else might be a better fit. What do you think I should do? Hobby Eroding Loving Partnership Have some advice for HELP? Drop it in the comments…