No Struggle Session today because it’s Christmas and I’m in a sex dungeon in Europe — no, wait: I’m doing wholesome things with family. (I’m literally baking a cake right now.) But I’ve got an interesting AQFARTIFROLOTGOMIITC for anyone who isn’t celebrating Christmas or is done celebrating Christmas or doesn’t celebrate Christmas until January. So, if you’re out there and you’re online and you’re checking in today — and you need a distraction — this one’s for you…
Bi cis chick from the North East here. Just out of a 3.5 year relationship with someone who was a good person mostly, but I was not having any sexual desire for in the last year or so. We broke up in July and I’ve had zero interest in any kind of intimacy since.
Recently, a friend of mine for many years was in town and we went to dinner. Had an amazing time, very flirty and we kissed at the end of the night. The next day, I woke up HORNY, finally! He’s a divorced dad, with an amicable relationship with his ex, we have tons of chemistry and similar interests, and although he lives in another state, we both have flexibility for travel.
Here’s the big catch. More than twenty years ago, he was convicted of statutory rape with a minor when he was 26. So he’s a registered sex offender. We talked about this many years ago and he said he didn’t know she was underage, and that he has truly done the work to be better. He’s always overly respectful and cautious with his language and actions. If you didn’t know any of this, you’d think he was a very liberal, feminist aligned, good guy.
I want to give it a chance, as I rarely find real connections with people, but obviously this is a big red flag. Isn’t it? Am I insane for considering this?
Seriously Torn, Upset, Completely Knotted
Eesh. Sorry I didn’t have a more… festive… question to share with you. Got some advice for STUCK? Drop it in the comments!
Speaking of European sex dungeons: I got a very nice email from GUILT, who was able to read my response to his question — and all of your comments — before GUILT and his fiancé arrived at the home/dungeon of their hosts/captors for the week. He appreciated the encouragement (and the food for thought) and he’s determined let go of the guilt and enjoy his time at the “chalet” with his fiancé. He asked me not to share his response but he promised to send a quick “After-Action Report” from the airport lounge on his way home.
Merry Christmas, if Christmas is you’re thing, and I hope everyone has a great holiday. — Dan