Quickies

.../strong> tighty-whities? What’s not to like? 4. We’re two late-blooming bi people in a monogamous relationship. We have small children. Tips for exploring being bi? Next time grandma babysits… say you’re going to the movies but go to a sex club or a swingers party or a mixed queer space, etc. Meet some people, fuck some people. (Pro tip: whoever isn’t driving should read the synopsis of the film you told grandma you were going to see out loud in the car on your way home. You wanna be prepared to answer grandma’s questions. Trust me.) 5. Will semen damage your tooth enamel if you swallow and then sleep without brushing again? Have you seen my teeth? 6. Is it pee? Does it matter? 7. My boyfriend and I have just started messing around with chastity. I have been interested in it for a while and got a cock cage, and he put it on for him yesterday. It really turns me on letting him have this much control and I wanna keep going. Any advice as we start this out? Getting kinky with him is so much fun, and I want to get as much out of it as we can! “They should check out Reddit’s r/chastitytraining for online help, community, and resources,” said Dark-Blue and DB-Vice in a joint statement. Dark-Blue is a dominant hot wife and DB-Vice is her locked (and cucked) husband. “For detailed sizing guides and high-quality cages, look at KINK3D. Our own advice: put your health first — watch out for swelling, discoloration, or excessive pain at night. Always remember: chastity play is more mental than physical, and that cage is a means to an end. The end being a constant reminder in your pants of your keyholder’s control and your submission.” Follow Dark-Blue and DB-Vice on Twitter @DarkBlueGoddess. 8. My husband, a trans man, died unexpectedly. How do I respectfully dispose of his dicks? I’m so sorry for your loss. If I were in your shoes, it would break my heart to re-home or otherwise dispose of my husband’s dicks. I would put them in a box, tuck them away on a high shelf someplace, and let my heirs worry about what to do with them when my time comes. Again, so sorry for your loss. 9. I can’t make plans the way I did when I was single because of my partner’s anxiety. What do I do? Partnered people can’t make plans the way single people can — you have to take your partner into consideration, you have to check in with your partner, you can’t fly off to Europe on a moment’s notice or disappear into a sex dungeon for a weekend. But while you need to be considerate of your partner and their anxiety, you can’t let their anxiety control you — and you should be wary of a partner who leverages their anxiety to isolate or control you. Basically, if you’re never allowed to do anything on your own or see anyone on your own or make plans on your own because it makes your partner anxious… that’s not a partnership, it’s a hostage situation. 10. I hate it when my sub bites me as I’m fucking him but he’s SO into it. I want him to be happy! Do I tell him? Seeing as he’s your sub, you should be able to order him to knock it off. If you still wanna let him bite you once in a while because it makes him happy… you could fold biting into your existing D/s dynamic. Identify something he hates but is willing to endure to please you — kind of like you’ve been willing to endure his biting — and punish him with that thing he hates-but-can-endure (flogging? tit clamps? piss?) whenever he bites you. But make sure it’s not something he loves to endure, as that would incentivize the biting. 11. Most overrated public sex location? CPAC. 12. Mid 40s bi/pan woman here who is afraid to fuck women because I do not know what to do. Advice? Put that in your personal ad — no experience with other women — and you won’t hear from women who aren’t interested in fucking women who don’t already know their way around a vulva. The women you do hear from will either be open to showing you around your first vulva or actively turned on by the thought of being your first/breaking you in. 13. How do I convince my fuck bud that I’m serious that I’m not afraid of/turned off by anal accidents! It’s nice that you don’t want your fuck buddy to think you’re turned off when shit happens — literally — but you don’t want your fuck buddy to think you’re turned on when shit happens either. So, suggest a shower break, give him a minute to breathe (or something to eat if he’s been starving himself all day), then finish on him not in him. 14. Monogamously nosy: What’s your take on those “no fooling around with friends” clauses? Open couples get to create their own rules — just like closed couples do — and lots of open couples have rules against fucking friends. But unless a couple also has a “one-and-done/fun-and-done” rule, i.e. a rule against repeats, refusing to treat a regular third with kindness and decency is deeply shitty behavior. Not offering benefits to friends is understandable — I get it — but denying friendship to someone who’s regularly offering you benefits? That’s not okay. 15. Open m/m couple. I lose interest in my partner — temporarily — after he’s had a hookup because I don’t want to compete. Am I the asshole? Depends. If you’re withholding sex to punish your partner for having sex with someone else — something you’re both allowed to do — in the hopes that he’ll think twice before having sex with other people for fear of upsetting you, then you’re the asshole. If you’re just insecure about direct-and-immediate comparisons and/or the whole “reclaiming” thing isn’t a turn-on for you and you’ve let your partner know (more than once) that this is a “you” problem and not a “him” problem, then you’re not the asshole. 16. Hubs loves having his balls kicked/smashed. Safe healthy ball play limits? You’re going to want to take tiny, baby-steps — or tiny, baby-kicks — to figure out where your husband’s limits are. If he’s like most guys who enjoy having their balls busted, you’ll wind up kicking him harder than you think you should but not as hard as you can. But please note: ball busting is risky. 17. Two months ago, I started noticing something that looked like clumps of slightly yellowish jelly in my cum.  What’s wrong? Probably nothing. Jelly-like clumps can appear in a man’s semen if it’s been a while since he’s had an orgasm — but those clumps can also be a symptom of a prostate problem or sexually transmitted infection. If you’re not experiencing other symptoms, they’ll probably go away on their own. If clumps persist, get an STI screening and have your prostate checked. 18. Why do I want to be submissive in bed but dominant in real life? Our sexual fantasies often involve transgression — not just against social conventions and/or expectations, but against the person we pretend to be and/or want to be and/or actually are. 19. Met a hot girl with a bi boyfriend, also hot. She said I could fuck her so long as her boyfriend could suck my cock before or after. I didn’t think I would get hard — I’ve never been attracted to men — but I was rock hard the whole time. Almost came. Does this make me gay or bi or pan or something? No. P.S. Googling “situational homosexuality” might make you feel better — or worse. 20. Who is your favorite for president in 2028? Mark Cuban/Jen Shah. 21. I can’t take thick dick — been bottoming for years and just can’t. How do I say this nicely on the apps? Since guys rarely face rejection for having thick cocks (or six packs or great hair), stumbling over a stranger on Grindr whose profile bluntly expresses a preference for smaller dicks (or rounder bellies or balding heads) is unlikely to cause offense. Non-existent wounds can’t be reopened. 22. My partner is badly injured; recovery may take a while. How can we stay close? I’m so sorry you’re going through this — best wishes to your partner for a speedy recovery. I’m sure it’s not the same as what your partner is going through, but I recently had rotator cuff surgery and the recovery from that is long and painful. My husband’s willingness to sit with me, read, or watch TV helped us stay close. My heart goes out to you. 23. New to the big city. Single, solo. Pride parties and gay bars seem cliquey. Tips for loosening up/meeting people? What looks like a clique from the outside is an established friendship group on the inside. So, instead of looking at guys chatting with their friends and feeling excluded, look for the guys who — like you — are out at the bars or clubs alone. Approach enough of those guys to make conversation and you’ll soon have a cliquey little friendship group of your very own. 24. I am attracted to a man who is a bartender at a bar I frequent. I would like to begin a relationship with him, but I feel I’ve neglected him by being rude and dismissive each time he tried to talk to me. How I can apologize to him for acting this way while signaling interest? “Sorry about being an asshole — would you like some head?” 25. Fifteen years ago, I sucked a guy’s dick and failed to mention that I was HIV+ until after I blew him. The guy ended up pulling a gun on me. He said if I ever told anyone he’d report me to the police. Should I be worried? Mandatory HIV-disclosure laws passed at the height of AIDS hysteria in the 1980s are still the books in many states. These laws are counterproductive, as they can discourage people from knowing their HIV status — you don’t have to disclose what you don’t know — but as bad as these laws are, most have statutes of limitations, usually under three years. So, even if this guy is out there and somehow managed to find out you confided in someone about this experience, the police aren’t going to come looking for you — and the crime he committed (threatening you with a deadly weapon) is worse, and has a longer statute of limitations!