On Thursdays I share a question from a reader and do my best to sit on my hands and let my readers give the advice — but first! An important correction…
Hey, Dan! Quebecois French listener here. FROTTAGE absolutely does not mean frothing in French, it means “to rub” or “the action of rubbing.” The verb “frotter” means rubbing. Frothing translates as foaming in French, and that would be “faire mousser.” Please do not butcher our beautiful language! My anglophone friends who enjoy that activity all use the term “frottage” / to rub — and it is indeed infinitely sexier than frothing! Ewww!
Forgive me, Quebecois French Listener! Okay, on to The Thursday Letter…
I’m in a relationship with a 27-year-old Mexican-American man. I’m a 63-year-old African-American woman. We have been together since May 2025 and we currently live together. For the most part things are good, but four months ago I found out that he was on a dating site. (It was the same dating site that we met on.) When I confronted him about it, he said that he was just getting his pictures off there. I told him that I did not believe him and eventually he told the truth: he was looking at other women’s pictures and masturbating to them. He swears that he never had any interaction with anyone and that he was only looking. He also admitted that he had a porn addiction. I was devastated and totally hurt. I immediately called my therapist and told her what happened and the three of us met. He told her what had happened and said he still loves me and wants to work things out. I absolutely still love this man and we have plans to be married, but I feel so betrayed and I’m so mistrustful now. He really is a good man. He’s hardworking, loving, kind, and takes good care of me (he’s the breadwinner). Do you think we have a chance to work things out?
Good Man’s Bad Habits
Have some advice for BREAD? Drop it in the comments…