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STRUGGLE SESSION: Pride Is (Still) Queer & Size Matters

Hey, gang: I’m still traveling back and forth and up and down this grating country of ours to see family — Iowa and Illinois down, Arizona and Colorado left to go — so this week’s Struggle Session is gonna be quick: just one letter from a reader, sent via email, just one uncharacteristically brief response … Read More »

Had To Getaway

Dear Readers: I’m at a family event — a happy one — this week. This column originally appeared in July 2013. Back with a new Savage Love next week. — Dan  I’m a 26-year-old straight female. I’m writing because I need to ask someone what to think right now. I just fucked a guy while … Read More »

The Boyfriend Experience

My boyfriend went on a trip abroad with his friend (also a guy). After he came back, he showed me that he made a Bumble profile while he was there. I didn’t feel like anything was off or ask him to show me; he volunteered. He said that he was just curious to see how … Read More »

STRUGGLE SESSION: Calling In Sick…

There are so many great comments about this week’s column and podcast — confronting cologne addicts! sending nude pics! humiliating hung guys! — but I’m still COVID’s bitch and I don’t have the energy to respond. I’m so sorry! But I am gonna share a letter that just came in just now and invite you … Read More »

Quickies

1. Queer boy in an open relationship with a silly question. I’ve started seeing someone recently. They’re cute and I enjoy their company, but they use a lot of cologne and it’s hurting my desire to be physical with them. I don’t know this person well and our trajectory is towards a friends-with-benefits sort of … Read More »

Slut Biome

My girlfriend and I started to do butt play (her butt) about two months ago. It was a once-per-week thing, first with butt plugs and then, after two weeks, anal. Two weeks ago, shortly after anal sex, she caught a really bad flu (confirmed by a medical test) that lasted a week, with a stubborn … Read More »

Jerked Around

I recently came home from a short meeting to find my husband in the bathroom with the door locked — locked to keep the kids out — meaning that he was secretly jerking off to porn while I was out. This has happened a few times before while I was home or out briefly and I’ve tried to … Read More »

Hurt People

I’m a 33-year-old gay man in a big city. I am currently in a five-month relationship with a wonderful, sweet man who loves me very much. I love him too. Prior to this I was in a throuple for three years. That relationship was toxic. I was the new addition to the throuple, and I … Read More »