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Savage Lovecast Archives for 2023

Stop using my show to talk to each other!

On the Magnum: Jen Hecht from Building Healthy Online Communities.
Episode #896 —
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A lesbian has a terrible bullshit detector. She keeps falling for lies and getting conned. How can our credulous heroine protect herself from lying liars? A man and his ex- girlfriend are utterly estranged. She has cut off all contact from him. But he noticed that she’s still using his Netflix password. What’s more, he … Read More »

Sex & Politics #25: A City on Mars

Happy Holidays to all.
Episode #25 —
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For this very special Sex & Politics, we invite you to leave your earthly cares behind and explore with us what sex would be like…in space! It turns out, it will be terrible. Dr. Kelly and Zach Weinersmith, authors of “A City on Mars,” are on to talk about the difficult logistics of both recreational … Read More »

A very NoFap Christmas

On the Magnum: Dr. Nicole Prause on the NoFap community.
Episode #895 —
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Dick pic backfire! When a woman received an image of her sexting partner’s wiener, she was distressed to see small white bumps adorning his penis. Could it be HPV? That’s bad, right? Should she tell him? Does he know already? Ah, the folks you’ll meet online…A woman connected with a man via Tinder who claimed … Read More »

“Daddy? Why is your penis wearing an earring?”

On the Magnum: Dr. Ina Park answers some STI questions.
Episode #894 —
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A married gay man endured a sexless relationship for 10 long years… until he didn’t. After cheating, he is getting a divorce. But now the caller feels villainized, as his ex-husband spins the story out to their friends. How can he avoid being painted as the bad guy? A dad just got a delicious Prince … Read More »

When Your Friend Drunkenly Hits on You.

On the Magnum: Meet the Vixens from Shameless Sex!
Episode #893 —
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When drunk friends pounce! A happily married, monogamous man went to a concert with his gal pal. But she arrived so drunk, staggering around and embarrassing herself, that he had to bundle her in a car and get her home. But she made sloppy moves on him, and although it’s been a long time, he … Read More »

Hate-Fuck Your Bully.

On the Magnum: Dr. Debby Herbenick helps you talk to your kid about sex.
Episode #892 —
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When telling a hook-up that you don’t want to continue seeing them, how much detail should you give? A woman enjoyed the sex with her quickie guy, but he was too insecure and needy for her tastes. Should she tell him this in the exit interview? A lesbian was terribly bullied in school by three … Read More »

What’s worse? Evil Granny or Gonorrhea?

On the Magnum: Thanksgiving! With Marriage and Family Therapist, Vienna Pharaon.
Episode #891 —
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A pansexual woman and her new lover got an unpleasant surprise…gonorrhea! But nothing makes sense. They had both tested negative and he claimed he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else. Did she get it from her sex toys? What happened here? A woman was messing around with a married man for a while. He always closed … Read More »

Cock Blocked…By His Own Sister?!

On the Magnum: Ali Bushell of "The Sex Party Handbook."
Episode #890 —
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A man and his sister are very close, living in the same town. He developed a crush on one of her friends, but she forbade him from asking her out. The sister used to date his friends now and again, which he encouraged. Should he risk angering his sister and ask the girl out already? … Read More »

Sex Crying and Drag Pronouns

On the Magnum: Julie Klausner from "Schmigadoon!"
Episode #889 —
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A midwife has recently learned that people who were born with a tongue-tie might have trouble giving oral sex later in life. Should she advise new parents to get their newborns surgery on their itty-bitty little baby tongues? A woman has started crying during sex, and not the joyful release kind of crying. She has … Read More »

HUMP! 2024 is Coming! (Are You?!?)

The HUMP! 2024 deadline for submissions is coming right up — a little less than six weeks away — but you still have plenty of time to make your HUMP! movie! While some HUMP! films are elaborate productions that require months to make (and we love those!), every year people submit movies they were inspired … Read More »

Sex & Politics #24: Trae Crowder

"The Liberal Redneck"
Episode #24 —
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For this Sex & Politics, Dan brings back our favorite hillbilly, comedian Trae Crowder. His YouTube rants were a balm during the Trump years, giving leftie lectures in a Deep South accent. He and Dan talk about how people perceive his Southern drawl, whether “redneck” is equivalent to the N-word, JD Vance, “blue sheep” in … Read More »

Horny Twinks in the Dungeon

On the Magnum: Connor Clary from the Five Star Review podcast
Episode #888 —
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A woman’s casual partner like to sext her before they meet up. He tends to obsess over the things she’s told him she won’t do. Is he pushing her boundaries intentionally, trying to get to “Yes,” or is he just fantasizing? In any case she wishes he would knock it off. A gay man wonders … Read More »

Homo Bro Code?

On the Magnum: Intersex activist Alicia Roth Weigel
Episode #887 —
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Is there a homo bro code? A man hooked up with his casual boyfriend’s roommate. Then the boyfriend moved away and they broke up peacefully. Now the caller is worried about resuming his hook-ups with the roommate for fear his ex’s friends will find out and revolt. Does this happen in gayland? A woman is … Read More »

Love Bites.

On the Magnum: Manon Garcia, author of "The Joy of Consent."
Episode #886 —
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A masochistic woman is happily paired with her sadist. They both love it when he bites her. But lately, she’s become more sensitive, maybe because she stopped taking hormonal birth control. In the past few sessions, she had to use her safe word and he’s beginning to sulk. How can they get back to the … Read More »

Sex & Politics #23: Leo Herrera

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It’s time for a homo deep dive with Dan Savage and Leo Herrera.  Dan had a long talk with Herrera — writer, activist and filmmaker — about different aspects of gay sex culture. They get into some of the controversies over sexual expression that embroiled Folsom Berlin and the Folsom St. Fair in San Francisco. … Read More »

Ghosted!

On the Magnum: On the Magnum: Dick Slapping with Bryan Safi
Episode #885 —
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A man’s dad is deeply, absurdly closeted. He has been married to the caller’s mother for decades, but could never admit the truth. Now the caller’s mom has dementia and angrily brings it up to shame her husband in front of her sons. Should the caller tell his dad that he knows he’s gay? Should … Read More »

What’s All This About Doxy-PEP?

On the Magnum: Dr. Oliver Bacon
Episode #884 —
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A man has discovered his love for wearing feminine clothing. His friends and fiancé are all supportive. But his brother- not so much. Should the caller just expect to move through the world offending people with his unconventional dress?  A gay transman has started having kinky hookups. Although he doesn’t want the intimacy associated with … Read More »

“Dear Dan, Teach Me to Talk Dirty.”

On the Magnum:Thomas Negovan of Caligula MMXX
Episode #883 —
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A 24 year-old single woman wants to learn how to perform dirty talk, but she has no one to practice on. How can she learn the dark art?  A woman is newly out of her bad relationship, and into a joyful era of slutting around. She’s happy as a clam, but when her parents ask … Read More »

Ass Worship and Sober Sex.

On the Magnum: "The Sober Sexpert" Tawny Lara
Episode #882 —
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We start the show with two ass-tastic calls! A domme woman has a pet boy who wants to eat things out of her butt. He suggests licorice. Any ideas for safe food items to be served out the back? And, another woman jokingly asked her husband to eat the dried mango slices he so adores … Read More »

When the Fantasy Gets Too Dark.

On the Magnum: Darshita Goyal
Episode #881 —
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A woman is enjoying a new friends-with-benefits relationship. She booked them an airBnB, but he had to cancel because his mother had a stroke. Now she feels insecure about him. Should she keep reaching out to try to make the tryst happen? Or wait and give him space? Is he lying about his mother?  A … Read More »

Naked Weirdo at the Book Club.

On the Magnum: Sheva Rajaee on Relationship OCDs
Episode #880 —
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We open the show with two questions from people who think they are aromantic. One of them is a woman with two sweet boyfriends, but worries she’s not giving each of them what they deserve. The other is a gay man who has never felt the jolt and tingle of new love. Will he ever … Read More »

Addicted to Anal

On the Magnum: Claire Perelman
Episode #879 —
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A transman is under deep cover in his hostile, misogynistic, anti-queer work environment. And what’s more, one of his co-workers is probably a closet case who has a crush on the caller! Complicated! Dangerous! A straight man has become dependent on anal sex in order to come. Did porn hijack his erotic life? His previous … Read More »

Sex & Politics #22: Blaise Agüera y Arcas

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We were delighted to bring back pointy headed AI researcher Blaise Agüera y Arcas. The last time he and Dan chatted it was about the coming of the sex robots. Today, they chat about human sexuality. In his new book “Who Are We Now?,” Agüera y Arcas took on an ambitious survey of thousands of … Read More »

Wedding Weirdness!

On the Magnum: Jill Filipovic on Trigger Warnings
Episode #878 —
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“Son, I’m open.” A gay man has a great relationship with his son. They hang out together, and the son drops by all the time. The caller has a boyfriend who also get along with his son. But what the son doesn’t know, is that they have an open relationship, so sometimes the caller welcomes … Read More »

Ureaplasma ahoy! With Dr. Ina Park.

On the Magnum: Meet Shallelujah, the sexy-voiced, bisexual gamer.
Episode #877 —
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A woman hooked up with a seemingly nice guy. She asked him to wear a condom, and he said he did. But after he left, she couldn’t find evidence of the condom- no wrapper, nothing. Did he stealth her? Should she call him and ask?  Ureaplasma: What’s this fresh new STI? Dan is stumped, so … Read More »

How to play with cake…safely.

On the Magnum: Rebound Relationships
Episode #876 —
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Oh Lordy, hear the tale of the twisted teen! He’s been sneaking into neighbors’ houses and stealing their sex toys, including some from elderly women. How dangerous is this kid? Should someone call the cops? How can his long-suffering mother correct him and end this behavior? What do you do when you’re disgusted by your … Read More »

When Dads Overshare.

On the Magnum: Leslie Sherman
Episode #875 —
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“Goodbye son, I’m off to Kink Camp!” A gay caller’s dad got divorced, came out as poly, and won’t shut up about it. He introduces the caller to all the girlfriends and brags about his various exploits. Our poor caller doesn’t want to hear the various details. How can he set some reasonable boundaries with … Read More »

A new miracle cure for baldness!!! With Dr. S Max Vale.

On the Magnum: Monkeys be wankin’. With Dr. Matilda Brindle.
Episode #874 —
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When it comes to love, never ever give up. Unless you really, really should. A woman has been crushed out on her best friend for years. Each time she asks if he feels the same, he gives her an unequivocal “No.” Should she keep pestering him?  Continuing in the theme of delusions, a caller heard … Read More »

Sex & Politics #21: Helen Lewis

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Welcome to Sex & Politics- a special show for Magnum subscribers. In preparation for a debate with Christine Emba, Dan interviews journalist Helen Lewis, author of Difficult Women about sex-negative feminism. They discuss sex work, how the sexual revolution helped and harmed women, nullos, incels and a ton more.

What’s all this about sounding?

On the Magnum: All About Dicks! With urologist Dr. Ashley Winter.
Episode #873 —
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Every day a certain number of people learn about sounding. Our first call is from one of these people and he has some questions. Are you next? Listen in.  A woman with chronic illness and pain has a calm, pragmatic attitude about her condition. But how can she roll this out to new partners, and … Read More »

Kinkstravaganza!

On the Magnum: Mollena Williams.
Episode #872 —
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Happy birthday America, damn you’re kinky! This week’s show features a ton of calls by the kinky, those who love them, or those who are considering becoming them. Let’s dive in.  A woman and her bestie are no longer speaking to each other. Why? Because she refuses to help change out the caller’s labia piercing … Read More »

Sober pegging and a vore solution.

On the Magnum: Manuel Betancourt author of "The Male Gazed."
Episode #871 —
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A woman and her husband have quit drinking. Hooray! But now that he’s sober he no longer feels comfortable getting pegged. Boo! How can he lower his inhibitions without the liquid courage? Dan chats with a woman who finally convinced her boyfriend to tell her about his secret, deep, dark, unrealizable fantasy. She and Dan … Read More »

Porn and Narcissism

Episode #870 —
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Ah. The old jiz-on-the-couch problem. This time it’s a 13 year-old boy just learning about the wonders of his youthful body. His mother wishes he would learn about socks and tissues.  We’ve been hearing the word “narcissistic” hurled at exes a lot these days. But it is a genuine psychiatric disorder, and a rare one. … Read More »

Feel the compersion with Dr. Marie Thouin

Episode #869 —
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They are a butch, gender-queer AFAB, kinky pervert. As such, they love going to sex parties. Their boyfriend meanwhile, is straight, vanilla and family oriented. Their relationship is open, and he’s found a lass he wants to bone down with. But the caller doesn’t want him to! It’s a complicated situation, and Dan is here … Read More »

Sex & Politics #20: Robin Marty

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“Everybody forgot about the South.” For those of us fortunate enough to live in pro-abortion states, it can be hard to wrap our heads around how dire the situation is in the deep red South for women who need reproductive care. This week on Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Robin Marty, a reproductive rights … Read More »

Healing from Sexual Trauma with Dr. Leila Wood.

Episode #868 —
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A straight man detests condoms with all his heart. Even the thought of putting on one of those little rubbers makes him deflate like the ears on a 2-day-old balloon rabbit. Is this a fetish of some kind? It prevents him from having sex and it’s bumming him out.  There seems to be a fair … Read More »

Television and Queer History, with Matt Baume.

Episode #867 —
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A woman feels guilty that she’s only interested in tall men. How can she weed out the little fellas?  Our guest this week is author Matt Baume, to discuss his fantastic book “Hi Honey, I’m Homo,” which looks at queer history through the lens of old TV shows. Shows like Soap, Bewitched and All in … Read More »

Freaky, freaky animal kingdom. With zoologist Lucy Cooke.

Episode #866 —
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A gay man is simultaneously weirded out and turned on by using the word “daddy” with his boyfriend. Should he stop immediately?  A woman’s husband cheated on her and it breaks her heart. She can’t divorce him because she would get deported. How can she stay married and stay sane for the next three years … Read More »

The baby findom and the pay pig. (Magnum guest: Meredith Goldstein of Love Letters.)

Episode #865 —
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A small time influencer has just been propositioned by an aspiring “pay pig” asking her to be his findom. He backed up this offer with $5 for coffee. Enticing! Should she do it? And if so, what are the rules in keeping the relationship lucrative and ethical?  The other day? This guy was wanking? And … Read More »

An Unexpected Public Orgasm. (Magnum Guest: Jolenta Greenberg)

Episode #864 —
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A woman suddenly started having orgasms while using the elliptical machine at the gym. To help explain this potentially embarrassing phenomenon, Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of The Coregasm Workout: The Revolutionary Method for Better Sex Through Exercise. And you now have a new goal. A dom woman and her bi male sub … Read More »

So, so, so vanilla? Magnum Guest: Dr. Carlton

Episode #863 —
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A very vanilla woman is so vanilla that she “doesn’t know what a kink is.” That’s really vanilla! Here’s a complicated three-way situation: He is the top with his husband. But he is the sub for his Dom boyfriend. When the three get together, who does what? On the Magnum we welcome back Dr. Carlton … Read More »

Cars ruin everything

Episode #20 —
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Sex & Politics #20: Daniel Knowles Would you buy an expensive, unhappiness machine? Economist Daniel Knowles (author of “Carmageddon”) makes the case that cars and car culture are a blight on civilization. Dan couldn’t agree more.  How much does Dan hates cars? Hear him fantasize about nuclear war and earthquakes as means to give the … Read More »

A Safely Caged Cock (with Magnum Guest: Mae Martin)

Episode #862 —
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A gay man living in the south is having a heckuva time trying to find a trans man to hook up with. Also he doesn’t want to come across as a chaser… Hear the unpleasant tale of the careless, selfish dom who boxed his lover on the ears twice (after being told not to) and … Read More »

With comedian/writer Zach Zimmerman

Episode #861 —
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Is it feasible to start your pro-Domme career at age 43? This married woman with kids wants to get back in the life.  A lesbian is married to a woman with a Catholic upbringing and actively religious family. They live in a country where they have to pay dues to the church. When her wife … Read More »

Gay Language with Leo Herrera

Episode #860 —
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A theme emerges! Sadly, the theme is seeing your dad’s dick. Would you be able to pick out your dad’s dick in a dick line-up? No, you would not.  A woman’s brother is about to do time for pedophilia. Compounding the tragedies here, the caller has lost all sense of her own sexuality due to … Read More »

Sex and Politics #19: Zoe Strimpel

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You guys, Israel is boiling over! Dan brings on British journalist Zoe Strimpel to talk about what’s going on in Israeli politics right now, and how it compares with the situation in the US. They then veer off to age gap relationships, the phenomenon of the “male hag” and whether Leonardo DiCaprio is one.  This … Read More »

With Mistress Matisse and sex researcher Dr. Lori Brotto.

Episode #859 —
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Have you ever been to a terribly complicated orgy? This one promises to be epic. Hear about the game they invented called “Spin the Bottom.”  A trans woman has started feeling claustrophobic when she goes down on either her male or female partner. Oral is her favorite! What gives?  On the Magnum and the Micro, … Read More »

With Intimacy Coordinator Jessica Steinrock

Episode #857 —
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A couple with adult children wants to start using apps together. The kids know their mom is bi, but they don’t know about the open relationship. What happens if their kid sees them on one of the apps?  Some people need sexy costumes for their scene. Some people need toys or bondage gear. This lady … Read More »

With actor/comedian Paul Scheer

Episode #856 —
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What is up with using the word “cuck” as an insult? Has it replaced “faggot” as the slur of choice? A man has been dating a woman for a few months. He feels they could have long term potential, even with the possibility of children. But! He doesn’t feel a chemical attraction to her pussy … Read More »

Jinkx Monsoon has a message for straight allies.

Episode #855 —
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For the stout of heart, if you dare, hear the tale of shibari bondage gone wrong.   A woman had a nice date with a man she suspects is very short. Then he kind of ghosted her. Should she tell him that she doesn’t care about his height?  Drag mega-star Jinkx Monsoon joins Dan in … Read More »

Butt talk ahoy! With Dr. Evan Goldstein.

Episode #854 —
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A woman masturbates in her sleep. Although she’s currently single, she worries about times when she has to share a room with family or friends. Should she warn them?  A woman’s sister plans to gallivant off to Texas to meet an online lover for the first time, on his rural cattle ranch, for some no-strings-attached … Read More »

Sex & Politics #18: James Kirchick on Armie Hammer

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For this episode of Sex & Politics, Dan brings back writer and podcaster James Kirchick to talk about his interview with Armie Hammer. This is the first interview Hammer has granted after being accused — more than two years ago — of rape, sexual violence, and having cannibalistic fantasies. While there’s an open investigation into … Read More »

We Aren’t Having Enough Sex. With Magdalene Taylor.

Episode #853 —
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Ok, let’s say you don’t drink alcohol. But you do drink piss, right? If your lover drank a bunch of beer and then you drank his piss, did you just drink alcohol?  A woman had an affair with a man she had been very close friends with. His wife found out, and it all blew … Read More »

A squirting mystery.

Episode #852 —
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How do you organize a sex party with your pals- without it being awkward?  Meanwhile, a woman asked her male friend to join her at a swingers hotel takeover. But she has a crush on him, and now regrets asking him to go. Should she bow out?  On the Magnum, sometimes you need a pelvic … Read More »

A very poly Valentine’s Day with Diana Adams

Episode #851 —
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A woman has been with her boyfriend for 4 years. He is so wonderful! But…he doesn’t bother to give her orgasms. He has all the orgasms! As many as he wants. Orgasm, orgasm, orgasm. He won’t do anything to get her there. Has she talked to him about this? Yes! She has! He doesn’t care. … Read More »

How to Talk Gay With Zach Noe Towers

Episode #850 —
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Your place or mine? A recently divorced woman wants to sleep around. Is it safer to have  men come to her house, or should she go to theirs? A married man remembers a fling he had decades ago. But it’s a bit of a blur. They were drinking, but he vaguely remembers not wearing a … Read More »

With Damona Hoffman of “Dates & Mates.”

Episode #849 —
Micro Episode with ads
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A tortured, indecisive woman is on the fence about whether to continue her relationship with her husband of 11 years. Every day she wakes up wondering, “Is this right?” Is this normal?  Hear the cautionary tale of the professional cuddler in an ethically non-monogamous relationship with a would-be dom and his much, much younger co-worker. … Read More »

“Ask a Sub’s” Lina Dune on social media censorship.

Episode #848 —
Micro Episode with ads
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A man wants to partake in some orgies with his girlfriend. But he loses his erection when there are other men in the room. How can he teach his boner to come out and play?  Meanwhile, a man in a 6-year relationship hasn’t had sex in the past 3 years because his girlfriend just doesn’t … Read More »

With Samantha Cole on Sex and the Internet.

Episode #847 —
Micro Episode with ads
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A woman remembers with shame how she reacted when her then-boyfriend came out to her as bisexual. She hasn’t talked to him in 9 years and wants to apologize. Should she? How?  For you sci-fi pervs, what happens to the “eggs” that get deposited with an ovipositor dildo?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Samantha … Read More »

Listen to Dan on “The Ezra Klein Show”

Dan joined renowned journalist and NY Times columnist Ezra Klein on his eponymous podcast to discuss how sex and relationships have changed during the tenure of “Savage Love.” Ezra begins by saying, “How do you introduce Dan Savage? …I think it’s maybe inarguable to say he’s the most important sex advice columnist in the country … Read More »

Happy Feast of the Ass!

Episode #846 —
Micro Episode with ads
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A woman is head over heels in love with her new boyfriend. He is a cross-dresser and they both enjoy exploring this kink together. The problem? He isn’t interested in having sex with her and it’s shredding her self-confidence.  A man is seeing two women in a poly triad. The second woman struggles to feel … Read More »

Tackling grief with humor: Jason Roeder of “Griefstrike.”

Episode #845 —
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Happy New Year dear listeners!  Things are starting off great! A listener discovered an old journal left behind from her newly ex-boyfriend. It contained erotic fantasies about a previous girlfriend’s…daughters. So, the conundrum: Should the caller tell his ex about his written fantasies? Should she burn it and forget the whole thing? Or calmly hand … Read More »

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